THE MOTHERFUCKING RAPTURE
May. 1st, 2009 02:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tracy_loo_whoSTILL ON SEMI-HIATUS UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT.
There's -- Jesus, there's so much I want to say about Castiel, but. oh god, oh god, okay, wait, let's start from the beginning.
Dean fishing and looking.. if not happy, then at least peaceful? This is such a gorgeous change from the dreams of Hell that it makes me ache. And you know who's responsible for this brief reprieve from the shittiness that's his lot in life, don't you? (EVEN THOUGH THINKING ABOUT CASTIEL KIND OF MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT THE MOMENT.)
Castiel knows what's about to happen, oh god, oh god, Cas, and he knows the other angels would look for him inside Dean's head, and everything about this expression is a plea to Dean to help him, after all he helped Dean last time and that's why he's in so much trouble, Jesus, Cas, Cas, Cas, his tone is so urgent, and you can hear the fear under it, oh Cas, what are they going to do to you? *CLING* D: D: D:
BREAK FOR UTTERLY SHALLOW MOMENT, YES.
To his credit, Dean does get Sam up and try to make it there as quickly as possible, but he's still too late. D: I didn't pay too much attention to all the wreckage the first time I watched it, but now, knowing Castiel made his last stand here -- HE WAS THE ONE WHO DID THAT ANGEL-REPELLING SPELL, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET? But how would that work, maybe it wouldn't affect the one who does the spell? I mean, clearly it didn't work at all, I'm just sayin'. CASTIEL TRIED SO FUCKING HARD TO STAY HERE, WITH DEAN. He tried so fucking hard and fought wing and nail but he sucks at fighting and he was ALONE, all by his fucking self, and got taken down, oh jesus, Cas. Also, did Dean really just call her "Annie"?
Gratuitous Cas!whump! \o/
AND DEAN, BEING SO FUSSY. HOLDING ONTO HIM FOR PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME HE'S SITTING UP. I mean, I'd already watched this scene like 30 times from the previews, but. SO MUCH BETTER ALL HUGE AND IN CONTEXT. And Dean all "take it easy, just take it easy!" fjklds;fjlds SO CONCERNED FOR CAS. Too bad Cas is already up in Heaven getting tortured or something because of him fjkdlsfj god I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS, SORRY, BACK TO LOVEY THINGS FOR NOW. And LOL at Sam in that second cap. :))
Yes, Misha, your rock hard pecs are still there, and we want to feel them too..
"Where the hell is Castiel?" DEAN IS SO WORRIED AND ANGRY, I LOVE THIS. UHM, AS HE SHOULD BE, THOUGH. JFKDSJAF WAH, CAS. FJKDLSFJDSLK D: D: D:
BUT LOL MISHA EATING IS THE GREATEST THING EVER LOLOLLOL. Apparently Cas doesn't, I guess that answers that question! Although he did say he hadn't eaten in months, while Castiel's been around for a whole year (I'm totally going to spazz about this "year" thing later, oh god) anyway fjklsda;f HERE, HAVE SOME CAPS OF MISHA/JIMMY EATING, AND HIS GINORMOUS, BEAUTIFUL HANDS, AND HE NOSE-SCRUNCHES IN THE LAST ONE, AND YES, I'M KIND OF SLASHING HIM AND DEAN AT THE MOMENT, EVEN THOUGH DEAN BELONGS TO CAS (WAHHH CAS, I CAN'T STOP, JESUS, CAS..), THEY COULD HAVE THIS EPIC LOVE BASED ON THEIR MUTUAL LOVE OF FOOD. AND CAS. EVEN THOUGH THEY BOTH CURSE AT HIM FROM TIME TO TIME. FJKLDSAFJLK CAS. D:
LOL DEAN. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU THINK IT'S SEXY.
Angel inside of you, it's kinda like being chained to a comet. Awww, but Jesus, I cannot think about Castiel without getting all flaily. But. What a happy motherfucking family. D:
TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO JUST CRAWL ON TOP OF THIS AND KISS YOUR WAY DOWN HIS JAW AND NECK AS YOU SLOWLY UNDO ONE BUTTON AT A TIME. ..sorry.
Dean's so protective of Jimmy. Surely this has something to do with the fact that he looks just like Cas. ♥ Oh god, but Sam talking about angel on angel violence, it was in the preview, but NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. SORT OF. EXCEPT I DON'T AND IT'S STILL KILLING ME AND OH GOD, CAS. D:
I'VE BEEN SHOT AND STABBED AND HEALED. LOL POOR JIMMY, I GUESS HE WAS AWAKE FOR DEAN AND CAS'S FIRST MEETING, HUH? ♥ (wah, Cas, wahhhh.) But man, Misha's pretty hot when he yells. And Dean is so pained about having to do this to him. :(
SLEEPING in his suit and tie, lol. But mmmm, to be able to crawl under those covers with him..
Sneaky!Misha! TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF SNEAKY!CAS THE LAST TIME WE SAW HIM BEFORE EVERYTHING WENT TO HELL (OR HEAVEN, WHATEVER, SAME THING, APPARENTLY), GOD.
Whoa. Neck. And LOL DEAN IS SO AMUSED ABOUT JIMMY HAVING ESCAPED. You just know he was secretly rooting for the guy the entire time. ♥♥♥
I don't take enough caps of Sam, do I? I ♥ Jared, I really, really do. And not just because he obviously loves Misha.
So fucking pretty I seriously cannot stand it sometimes.
No, I cannot get enough of the hand!porn, why do you ask?
Jesus, I've mentioned I love his profile, right? I fucking love Misha's profile.
Yes, your hands amaze me too, Misha. *_*
Are they TRYING to kill us? fjdksl;afjlkdnnnngh.
Hahhaha, I stopped hating Anna a long time ago. I actually maybe kind of like her a tiny bit. Especially since I ♥ Julie and Anna is no longer trying to steal Dean away from Castiel and in fact actually cares about Cas and is letting Dean in on the fact that CASTIEL IS BEING PUNISHED FOR HIM. CAS, CAS, CAS, DRAGGED BACK, WHICH IS A VERY BAD THING, PAINFULLY, AWFULLY BAD, oh god oh god, Cas, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU? *CRIES* For all that I love Cas!whump and wrote all that horrible Cas!whump myself, I SORT OF CANNOT STAND THIS BEING CANON. I mean, it's glorious, seriously, I love it, but MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. D: But the fact that Dean's does as well makes it a little better, I think. Look at Dean!
I know it's Jimmy, but still, I cannot help but go "awwww, Cas" at this. D:
This is probably how Misha would dress and look and sound at home, right? Comfortable and relaxed in a t-shirt and so casually gorgeous it kills me. I love his expressions. ♥
Nnnnnnngh, neck/jaw/mouth/lips/everything. Yes, please, loosen that tie..
CASTIEL. CASTIEL'S FIRST MOMENTS IN A HUMAN BODY. CASTIEL RIGHT BEFORE HE GOES AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH DEAN, CASTIEL WHEN HE'S SWEET AND INNOCENT AND SCHMOOPY AND HEAD-TILTY AND HASN'T BEEN FUCKING TORTURED BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE. OH, CAS, OH CAS, I might cry, I just want to hug him. fklds;afjklsd D: D: D:
How can anyone resist those puppy eyes? Oh, Misha.
THIS? This is convention!Misha. This is how fucking gorgeous he is in person, this right here. God, I just want to meet him again. D:
A YEAR. It hadn't seemed that long? But. A YEAR, that's a really long time! Castiel has been in Dean's life for a YEAR. Think about how much they must mean to each other, god.
Misha crying, awwww. :(
LOLOLOLL CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. SORRY, CONTINUE ON.
I, uh, have a bit of a thing for that scratch on his cheek. Like, a HUGE Thing, with a capital T, for that scratch on his cheek.
Still so beautifully protective. Because, after all, A YEAR. *squees*! And also, *cries*. D:
Can you actually imagine this man being real? Like, with a real life, and actually married to someone, someone has this man in her life all the time. I can't even really fathom the depth of how lucky she is.
Dean totally looks a tiny bit jealous about Cas's vessel with someone else. XD
Even gorgeous when you can see practically nothing, nngh.
It kind of makes me :| that Dean is suddenly so used to Sam's "mojo" and is by all accounts even a little bit okay with it? Uhm, but this is really kind of what I want for season 5: Sam and Dean and Castiel in the back seat. ♥
LOL MISHA'S HAIR. LOOKS LIKE A ROOSTER. LOLMISHA. ♥ Poor Jimmy just doesn't have Castiel's cosmic rays of awesome, huh?
Poor Cas gets called a son of a bitch by Jimmy, too! :)) But oh god, that reminds me, POOR CASTIEL. fklsd;afjksld; Cas, god, this is ridiculous, I'm a fucking mess. But omg MISHA, the way he says "typical" and shakes his head and slams the door OPEN as he walks in -- that was pretty fucking hot. :|
So, is it just me or does Dean look equally terrified about Sam getting shot andCastiel Jimmy getting shot? I mean, his mouth is open more for Jimmy, but Jimmy actually DID get shot, and there's gotta be some kind of gut reaction to the fact that it looks like Castiel is dying, Castiel who's been in Dean's life for a YEAR, and Dean here, oh god, Dean looks like his WORLD is shattering, like he's lost everything, he hasn't looked like this since Sam got stabbed!
More Cas!whump, with bonus hand!porn! \o/
LOL CASTITEL IS A GIRL. LOLOLOL ALL THIS TIME WE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE LILITH. BUT IT'S CASTIEL, HE'S A LITTLE GIRL. :)) :)) And finally kicking some ass, too, glad to see it. Although she kind of stole Misha's thunder here, eh? Castiel finally gets to be a little badass and that's the scene someone else gets to play him. Poor Misha. Though he does look awfully delicious all rumpled and bloody there on the floor. Really, though, I wonder what they mean by the vessel thing being in their blood? I would love to hear theories on this, if anyone's got them!
More Dean!shattering. :( But look how he and Castiel always just naturally stand next to each other! Oh, my heart.
Dean's startled look here when he thought Sam was going to use his mojo on him -- hahhhaha I'm sorry, this is a terrible moment in his life, but I sort of can't stop laughing at this face and the way he jumped out of the way with that little arm jerk thing. :)) Jensen. ♥!
Rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Does that mean human souls go to Heaven to be with angels? Does that mean DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN HAVE THEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN HEAVEN? DOES IT? TELL ME IT DOES. Except, Castiel intends to use Jimmy (lol) for hundreds and thousands of years more? Does that mean he's going to stay on earth after the war's over? Is that part of his punishment?
CASTIEL IS BACK. And he still has that delicious scratch on his cheek for a few more seconds! But oh god, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU? My Cas, Dean's Cas, what did they do to Cas? Oh no, oh no, I hate watching this next part, it breaks me so so so fucking much every time, oh god. D:
THIS IS WHEN HE FIRST SEES DEAN AGAIN. I MEAN, SORT OF. I know he saw Dean when he was in the girl, but she can't act like Misha can, so she doesn't count, and anyway there was so much other stuff going on. MISHA here, though, the way Castiel looks at Dean for the first time. THIS BREAKS MY HEART. (And with only one eye, too! HE IS AS GOOD AS MICHAEL HOGAN AT CONVEYING ALL THE EMOTIONS IN THE WORLD WITH ONE EYE, IT'S OFFICIAL.) He obviously still has those feelings, and this moment is so unguarded, there's so much yearning and longing and oh god, it's only been what, one or two days on earth since he got dragged back to Heaven but it must have been so much longer for him, how long has it been since he's seen Dean? And what a sight for sore eyes, but at the same time Dean reminds him of everything he suffered in Heaven, and it reminds ME of how hard he fought to stay here, and everything just HURTS.
And Dean, so worried about his Cas, and he can't take his eyes off of him, and he just has to know what's going on, and he's kind of afraid, already, of the way Castiel won't look at him. I mean, we can't see, but you just KNOW Castiel is brushing by him and trying so fucking hard not to look and it's hurting Dean but it's hurting Cas even more because even when he turns around to look at Jimmy's family, he turns away from Dean, almost like he's scared if he turns the other way he'll see Dean and lose himself all over again. fjdsk;fjdlsjf oh, this episode.
This shot right here. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Castiel spent the first year chasing after Dean and trying to get Dean to warm up to him and now it's going to be the other way around? THIS PAIRING BREAKS MY FUCKING HEART.
CASTIEL IS SO SCARED TO LOOK AT DEAN AND HAS TO MENTALLY GATHER HIMSELF BEFORE HE CAN DO SO. FUCK, THIS HURTS.
He may be all cold and hard now but Cas is still there, you can see it in his eyes, his eyes are perpetually yearning, and god if Castiel isn't thinking "if only you'd made it in time before I got dragged back, Dean" and hurting hurting hurting, and his lines about serving Heaven and not Man and certainly not Dean -- how many times did they make him recite those lines? He sounds like he means it, and I believe he WANTS to mean it, but I don't believe he really really truly does, and Dean will break him down again, and there is going to be so much angst, I knew flirty, smirky, coy Cas from 4x18 couldn't last long but gahhhh. I will never get over this episode.
Dean here, Jesus, Dean makes me want to cry too, he looks so hurt and betrayed and yet you can see that he understands, he heard what Anna said, he knows Castiel must have gone through absolute Hell because of him, so he gets it, and he's hurt but he thinks maybe this is best for Castiel because, I mean, Dean has never thought he was worth it. He certainly doesn't think he's worth Castiel getting tortured over, so he doesn't say anything, only watches Castiel walk away, and he's so lost, doesn't know what to do without his Cas, and Jesus this is killing me.
Think it's a coincidence that Dean basically gives up on life right after Castiel walks away from him? He doesn't even care about Sam's blood drinking, he just doesn't care, he's done, done, done, because Castiel has left him and he can't take any of it anymore. Fucking lies back and gives up. Jesus, you guys, I AM SO BROKEN BY THIS EPISODE. D:
Only two more to go, oh god I'm so terrified of seeing Dean and Castiel's interactions now, but also. Jesus, whatever, I can't think about this anymore, except I kind of have to because I'm only 5k words into my big bang fic and it's due in less than a day and this episode has pretty much fucked it so now I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't write about Dean and Castiel being all happy together, not after this, not today, and. What am I going to do? Gah. D:
I will reply to comments tomorrow, after the big bang deadline, which I'll either make or I won't. Either way, do link me to anything I missed this past week if you wanted me to see it, yeah? ♥
Oh, also, Dreamwidth! It's open now, and I know a lot of you guys are getting accounts, so here's me (again)!
There's -- Jesus, there's so much I want to say about Castiel, but. oh god, oh god, okay, wait, let's start from the beginning.
Dean fishing and looking.. if not happy, then at least peaceful? This is such a gorgeous change from the dreams of Hell that it makes me ache. And you know who's responsible for this brief reprieve from the shittiness that's his lot in life, don't you? (EVEN THOUGH THINKING ABOUT CASTIEL KIND OF MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT THE MOMENT.)
Castiel knows what's about to happen, oh god, oh god, Cas, and he knows the other angels would look for him inside Dean's head, and everything about this expression is a plea to Dean to help him, after all he helped Dean last time and that's why he's in so much trouble, Jesus, Cas, Cas, Cas, his tone is so urgent, and you can hear the fear under it, oh Cas, what are they going to do to you? *CLING* D: D: D:
BREAK FOR UTTERLY SHALLOW MOMENT, YES.
To his credit, Dean does get Sam up and try to make it there as quickly as possible, but he's still too late. D: I didn't pay too much attention to all the wreckage the first time I watched it, but now, knowing Castiel made his last stand here -- HE WAS THE ONE WHO DID THAT ANGEL-REPELLING SPELL, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET? But how would that work, maybe it wouldn't affect the one who does the spell? I mean, clearly it didn't work at all, I'm just sayin'. CASTIEL TRIED SO FUCKING HARD TO STAY HERE, WITH DEAN. He tried so fucking hard and fought wing and nail but he sucks at fighting and he was ALONE, all by his fucking self, and got taken down, oh jesus, Cas. Also, did Dean really just call her "Annie"?
Gratuitous Cas!whump! \o/
AND DEAN, BEING SO FUSSY. HOLDING ONTO HIM FOR PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME HE'S SITTING UP. I mean, I'd already watched this scene like 30 times from the previews, but. SO MUCH BETTER ALL HUGE AND IN CONTEXT. And Dean all "take it easy, just take it easy!" fjklds;fjlds SO CONCERNED FOR CAS. Too bad Cas is already up in Heaven getting tortured or something because of him fjkdlsfj god I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS, SORRY, BACK TO LOVEY THINGS FOR NOW. And LOL at Sam in that second cap. :))
Yes, Misha, your rock hard pecs are still there, and we want to feel them too..
"Where the hell is Castiel?" DEAN IS SO WORRIED AND ANGRY, I LOVE THIS. UHM, AS HE SHOULD BE, THOUGH. JFKDSJAF WAH, CAS. FJKDLSFJDSLK D: D: D:
BUT LOL MISHA EATING IS THE GREATEST THING EVER LOLOLLOL. Apparently Cas doesn't, I guess that answers that question! Although he did say he hadn't eaten in months, while Castiel's been around for a whole year (I'm totally going to spazz about this "year" thing later, oh god) anyway fjklsda;f HERE, HAVE SOME CAPS OF MISHA/JIMMY EATING, AND HIS GINORMOUS, BEAUTIFUL HANDS, AND HE NOSE-SCRUNCHES IN THE LAST ONE, AND YES, I'M KIND OF SLASHING HIM AND DEAN AT THE MOMENT, EVEN THOUGH DEAN BELONGS TO CAS (WAHHH CAS, I CAN'T STOP, JESUS, CAS..), THEY COULD HAVE THIS EPIC LOVE BASED ON THEIR MUTUAL LOVE OF FOOD. AND CAS. EVEN THOUGH THEY BOTH CURSE AT HIM FROM TIME TO TIME. FJKLDSAFJLK CAS. D:
LOL DEAN. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU THINK IT'S SEXY.
Angel inside of you, it's kinda like being chained to a comet. Awww, but Jesus, I cannot think about Castiel without getting all flaily. But. What a happy motherfucking family. D:
TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO JUST CRAWL ON TOP OF THIS AND KISS YOUR WAY DOWN HIS JAW AND NECK AS YOU SLOWLY UNDO ONE BUTTON AT A TIME. ..sorry.
Dean's so protective of Jimmy. Surely this has something to do with the fact that he looks just like Cas. ♥ Oh god, but Sam talking about angel on angel violence, it was in the preview, but NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. SORT OF. EXCEPT I DON'T AND IT'S STILL KILLING ME AND OH GOD, CAS. D:
I'VE BEEN SHOT AND STABBED AND HEALED. LOL POOR JIMMY, I GUESS HE WAS AWAKE FOR DEAN AND CAS'S FIRST MEETING, HUH? ♥ (wah, Cas, wahhhh.) But man, Misha's pretty hot when he yells. And Dean is so pained about having to do this to him. :(
SLEEPING in his suit and tie, lol. But mmmm, to be able to crawl under those covers with him..
Sneaky!Misha! TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF SNEAKY!CAS THE LAST TIME WE SAW HIM BEFORE EVERYTHING WENT TO HELL (OR HEAVEN, WHATEVER, SAME THING, APPARENTLY), GOD.
Whoa. Neck. And LOL DEAN IS SO AMUSED ABOUT JIMMY HAVING ESCAPED. You just know he was secretly rooting for the guy the entire time. ♥♥♥
I don't take enough caps of Sam, do I? I ♥ Jared, I really, really do. And not just because he obviously loves Misha.
So fucking pretty I seriously cannot stand it sometimes.
No, I cannot get enough of the hand!porn, why do you ask?
Jesus, I've mentioned I love his profile, right? I fucking love Misha's profile.
Yes, your hands amaze me too, Misha. *_*
Are they TRYING to kill us? fjdksl;afjlkdnnnngh.
Hahhaha, I stopped hating Anna a long time ago. I actually maybe kind of like her a tiny bit. Especially since I ♥ Julie and Anna is no longer trying to steal Dean away from Castiel and in fact actually cares about Cas and is letting Dean in on the fact that CASTIEL IS BEING PUNISHED FOR HIM. CAS, CAS, CAS, DRAGGED BACK, WHICH IS A VERY BAD THING, PAINFULLY, AWFULLY BAD, oh god oh god, Cas, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU? *CRIES* For all that I love Cas!whump and wrote all that horrible Cas!whump myself, I SORT OF CANNOT STAND THIS BEING CANON. I mean, it's glorious, seriously, I love it, but MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. D: But the fact that Dean's does as well makes it a little better, I think. Look at Dean!
I know it's Jimmy, but still, I cannot help but go "awwww, Cas" at this. D:
This is probably how Misha would dress and look and sound at home, right? Comfortable and relaxed in a t-shirt and so casually gorgeous it kills me. I love his expressions. ♥
Nnnnnnngh, neck/jaw/mouth/lips/everything. Yes, please, loosen that tie..
CASTIEL. CASTIEL'S FIRST MOMENTS IN A HUMAN BODY. CASTIEL RIGHT BEFORE HE GOES AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH DEAN, CASTIEL WHEN HE'S SWEET AND INNOCENT AND SCHMOOPY AND HEAD-TILTY AND HASN'T BEEN FUCKING TORTURED BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE. OH, CAS, OH CAS, I might cry, I just want to hug him. fklds;afjklsd D: D: D:
How can anyone resist those puppy eyes? Oh, Misha.
THIS? This is convention!Misha. This is how fucking gorgeous he is in person, this right here. God, I just want to meet him again. D:
A YEAR. It hadn't seemed that long? But. A YEAR, that's a really long time! Castiel has been in Dean's life for a YEAR. Think about how much they must mean to each other, god.
Misha crying, awwww. :(
LOLOLOLL CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. SORRY, CONTINUE ON.
I, uh, have a bit of a thing for that scratch on his cheek. Like, a HUGE Thing, with a capital T, for that scratch on his cheek.
Still so beautifully protective. Because, after all, A YEAR. *squees*! And also, *cries*. D:
Can you actually imagine this man being real? Like, with a real life, and actually married to someone, someone has this man in her life all the time. I can't even really fathom the depth of how lucky she is.
Dean totally looks a tiny bit jealous about Cas's vessel with someone else. XD
Even gorgeous when you can see practically nothing, nngh.
It kind of makes me :| that Dean is suddenly so used to Sam's "mojo" and is by all accounts even a little bit okay with it? Uhm, but this is really kind of what I want for season 5: Sam and Dean and Castiel in the back seat. ♥
LOL MISHA'S HAIR. LOOKS LIKE A ROOSTER. LOLMISHA. ♥ Poor Jimmy just doesn't have Castiel's cosmic rays of awesome, huh?
Poor Cas gets called a son of a bitch by Jimmy, too! :)) But oh god, that reminds me, POOR CASTIEL. fklsd;afjksld; Cas, god, this is ridiculous, I'm a fucking mess. But omg MISHA, the way he says "typical" and shakes his head and slams the door OPEN as he walks in -- that was pretty fucking hot. :|
So, is it just me or does Dean look equally terrified about Sam getting shot and
More Cas!whump, with bonus hand!porn! \o/
LOL CASTITEL IS A GIRL. LOLOLOL ALL THIS TIME WE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE LILITH. BUT IT'S CASTIEL, HE'S A LITTLE GIRL. :)) :)) And finally kicking some ass, too, glad to see it. Although she kind of stole Misha's thunder here, eh? Castiel finally gets to be a little badass and that's the scene someone else gets to play him. Poor Misha. Though he does look awfully delicious all rumpled and bloody there on the floor. Really, though, I wonder what they mean by the vessel thing being in their blood? I would love to hear theories on this, if anyone's got them!
More Dean!shattering. :( But look how he and Castiel always just naturally stand next to each other! Oh, my heart.
Dean's startled look here when he thought Sam was going to use his mojo on him -- hahhhaha I'm sorry, this is a terrible moment in his life, but I sort of can't stop laughing at this face and the way he jumped out of the way with that little arm jerk thing. :)) Jensen. ♥!
Rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Does that mean human souls go to Heaven to be with angels? Does that mean DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN HAVE THEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN HEAVEN? DOES IT? TELL ME IT DOES. Except, Castiel intends to use Jimmy (lol) for hundreds and thousands of years more? Does that mean he's going to stay on earth after the war's over? Is that part of his punishment?
CASTIEL IS BACK. And he still has that delicious scratch on his cheek for a few more seconds! But oh god, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU? My Cas, Dean's Cas, what did they do to Cas? Oh no, oh no, I hate watching this next part, it breaks me so so so fucking much every time, oh god. D:
THIS IS WHEN HE FIRST SEES DEAN AGAIN. I MEAN, SORT OF. I know he saw Dean when he was in the girl, but she can't act like Misha can, so she doesn't count, and anyway there was so much other stuff going on. MISHA here, though, the way Castiel looks at Dean for the first time. THIS BREAKS MY HEART. (And with only one eye, too! HE IS AS GOOD AS MICHAEL HOGAN AT CONVEYING ALL THE EMOTIONS IN THE WORLD WITH ONE EYE, IT'S OFFICIAL.) He obviously still has those feelings, and this moment is so unguarded, there's so much yearning and longing and oh god, it's only been what, one or two days on earth since he got dragged back to Heaven but it must have been so much longer for him, how long has it been since he's seen Dean? And what a sight for sore eyes, but at the same time Dean reminds him of everything he suffered in Heaven, and it reminds ME of how hard he fought to stay here, and everything just HURTS.
And Dean, so worried about his Cas, and he can't take his eyes off of him, and he just has to know what's going on, and he's kind of afraid, already, of the way Castiel won't look at him. I mean, we can't see, but you just KNOW Castiel is brushing by him and trying so fucking hard not to look and it's hurting Dean but it's hurting Cas even more because even when he turns around to look at Jimmy's family, he turns away from Dean, almost like he's scared if he turns the other way he'll see Dean and lose himself all over again. fjdsk;fjdlsjf oh, this episode.
This shot right here. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Castiel spent the first year chasing after Dean and trying to get Dean to warm up to him and now it's going to be the other way around? THIS PAIRING BREAKS MY FUCKING HEART.
CASTIEL IS SO SCARED TO LOOK AT DEAN AND HAS TO MENTALLY GATHER HIMSELF BEFORE HE CAN DO SO. FUCK, THIS HURTS.
He may be all cold and hard now but Cas is still there, you can see it in his eyes, his eyes are perpetually yearning, and god if Castiel isn't thinking "if only you'd made it in time before I got dragged back, Dean" and hurting hurting hurting, and his lines about serving Heaven and not Man and certainly not Dean -- how many times did they make him recite those lines? He sounds like he means it, and I believe he WANTS to mean it, but I don't believe he really really truly does, and Dean will break him down again, and there is going to be so much angst, I knew flirty, smirky, coy Cas from 4x18 couldn't last long but gahhhh. I will never get over this episode.
Dean here, Jesus, Dean makes me want to cry too, he looks so hurt and betrayed and yet you can see that he understands, he heard what Anna said, he knows Castiel must have gone through absolute Hell because of him, so he gets it, and he's hurt but he thinks maybe this is best for Castiel because, I mean, Dean has never thought he was worth it. He certainly doesn't think he's worth Castiel getting tortured over, so he doesn't say anything, only watches Castiel walk away, and he's so lost, doesn't know what to do without his Cas, and Jesus this is killing me.
Think it's a coincidence that Dean basically gives up on life right after Castiel walks away from him? He doesn't even care about Sam's blood drinking, he just doesn't care, he's done, done, done, because Castiel has left him and he can't take any of it anymore. Fucking lies back and gives up. Jesus, you guys, I AM SO BROKEN BY THIS EPISODE. D:
Only two more to go, oh god I'm so terrified of seeing Dean and Castiel's interactions now, but also. Jesus, whatever, I can't think about this anymore, except I kind of have to because I'm only 5k words into my big bang fic and it's due in less than a day and this episode has pretty much fucked it so now I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't write about Dean and Castiel being all happy together, not after this, not today, and. What am I going to do? Gah. D:
I will reply to comments tomorrow, after the big bang deadline, which I'll either make or I won't. Either way, do link me to anything I missed this past week if you wanted me to see it, yeah? ♥
Oh, also, Dreamwidth! It's open now, and I know a lot of you guys are getting accounts, so here's me (again)!
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Date: 2009-05-06 05:39 am (UTC)YES PRECISELY. If people dislike Castiel, fine, whatever - if they hate Castiel, well, that'll probably bug me, but not as much as people HATING MISHA. He's Misha. You can't hate him.
I would love to see Castiel look at a little fake Christmas angel and be like "..." ALSO WHAT WOULD HE GET DEAN?
Only Castiel can't see anymore either! *gnashes teeth* And Castiel has always loved Dean more, but damn.
The show doesn't really listen to casual viewers though, does it? It listens to fandom, and fandom has been saying "Kill her!" since 4x10. I think that her role was reduced partly to give Castiel more to do, yeah, and I also think that was influenced by fandom and our love of Cas. I think we would have seen a lot more of her and what they had planned for her - things Cas can't do, since he's not rogue - if she'd been more popular. I mean, even Ruby is more popular than Anna.
I watched the video in which he answered that question, and it seemed to me it had been pretty misinterpreted. Someone said something about giving Dean angel powers, and then Misha said "Well, Anna... wait, I can't remember what's aired yet and what hasn't," and then he said, "Dean doesn't have angel powers yet." I think fandom blew that one out of proportion.
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Date: 2009-05-06 05:16 pm (UTC)Sigh, it bugs the shit out of me when people hate Castiel too, but if the girl's been one of my closest friends on LJ for six years, I can't just go and defriend her over that, can I? :)) If she were the type to hate MISHA, though, I don't think we'd have been friends in the first place.
LOL THERE WAS THAT ONE FIC WHERE HE GOT DEAN A PRESENT BUT DEAN DIDN'T KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM SO HE SHOT IT AND CASTIEL TURNED UP TO BE ALL :( AND DEAN WAS ALL "OMG IT WAS YOU, I DIDN'T KNOW" AND CASTIEL WAS ALL "OH, OKAY THEN, *FIXES*" AND DEAN WAS ALL "THIS YELLOW SHIRT IS HIDEOUS, I LOVE IT" AND THEY WERE ALL ♥ AT EACH OTHER. (don't you love my summaries?)
I hope hope hope he can kind of see, maybe, but god, I want to know what changes he goes through next! D: TERRIBLE ONES, I'M SURE.
True. Sigh, I wonder what they DID have planned for her that Cas can't do.. quite honestly, though, even apart from the whole Dean thing I didn't like her acting in 4.10. I DID like her acting in 4.20, though, quite a bit, for the few seconds she was around.
Oh, you're probably right. I wonder how many scripts he'd gotten by that point, hmm.
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Date: 2009-05-06 05:34 pm (UTC)My BFF is "meh" about Castiel and it saddens me. :| If she hated him, it would be even worse, but I'd deal. However, I managed to maintain friendly relations with haters of Mohinder, so maybe I'm used to it.
I HAVE NEVER READ THIS FIC, AND I NEED IT IN MY LIFE NAO. Though my favorite gift-giving present is the one where Castiel gives Dean a lamprey for his birthday and Sam flushes it down the toilet and Dean is sad.
NOOO, THEY MUST BE HOPEFUL CHANGES WHERE THE FACADE CRACKS AND WE SEE A LITTLE BIT OF CAS AND MAYBE HE'S IN PAIN BUT HE'S THERE. THAT'S WHAT I NEED.
I've never been impressed with Julie as an actress, but I ♥ her as a person and I like Anna quite a lot, and it's not like it's bad enough to make me want her off the screen, so I really wish we'd gotten a more in-depth storyline there. :| Oh well. Perhaps I should write the epic fanfic.
That was the same con where he talked about filming 4x20, so he'd undoubtedly read 21.
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Date: 2009-05-06 05:47 pm (UTC)My BFF doesn't even WATCH Supernatural, it saddens me completely.
LOL FJDKSL;FJDSL I WILL TRADE YOU STORIES, WHERE IS THIS LAMPREY THING? HERE IS YELLOW SHIRT FIC: http://marinarusalka.livejournal.com/447984.html
If it's anything like bitterness and anger, it'll hurt even more but SO GOOD. Plus I'll feel like my fic is more validated hahahaaa.
...Dude, if you ever ACTUALLY get around to writing epic fanfic, it had better be Dean/Castiel. :P
Oh, you're right, huh. And yet he STILL said he wanted Castiel to fall and thought maybe Kripke might go in that direction and that it would have something to do with Dean! \o/
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Date: 2009-05-06 06:02 pm (UTC)We need to smack our BFFs about the head with a clue-by-four.
TRADE! (http://community.livejournal.com/deancastiel/462496.html?thread=3425952#t3425952)
Well, Misha's already played the anger, now I wanna see the bitterness! \o/ It's so unusual of Castiel to have negative emotions for Dean, I hope they really play out the complexity.
HEE... QUIET, YOU.
Ooh! He did! He did! *RAY OF HOPE*
no subject
Date: 2009-05-06 10:46 pm (UTC)Dude, I LOVED that lamprey thing lolololll. Lampreys freak me out, though.
UHM, OKAY, BUT. STUDYING BUT. NEW INTERVIEW! Castiel's gonna be a hard ass to the boys throughout the next two episodes, wah, this is going to hurt, BUT Misha doesn't think he's changed at his core.. so. I mean. This is dismaying and hopeful all at once? fjklsd;afjlks D:
BACK TO STUDYING NOW.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-07 12:10 am (UTC)All toothy fish freak me out. They're FISH. They should not have TEETH. That's like BIRDS having teeth, it's wrong.
Well, we already knew he hadn't changed at his core, whatever else is going on or however his mind has been fucked up, it has to still be Cas in there, somewhere, or we'd never see him again and that obviously couldn't happen. Mostly I'm parsing Misha's comments trying to figure out what Castiel will be like in the next few episodes. He's going to be a hardass and he was indoctrinated, but he's still the same angel underneath and he goes through some changes, so maybe those changes are along the lines of letting the old angel peek through. But Misha's also made some comments that make me think that Castiel was just scared straight - still tortured, but not to the point where he broke and now really believes whatever his superiors want him to believe, just until he promised he'd behave. I'm not sure whether I like that idea or not. On one hand, it hurts less because the Cas I love isn't buried, he's just watching what he says, but it still does hurt in a nice delicious way, because knows that being an asshole is the only way he can keep contact with Dean, and it pains him but he has to, because otherwise he'll be reassigned. So he gets to go around being a jerk and watching it hurt Dean and hurting himself but knowing he's doing it for the both of them but Dean doesn't know. On the other hand, I was getting quite used to the idea of brainwashed!broken!Cas, and I guess it sort of undermines the seriousness and overall impact (on the character and on the storyline) of what he went through if he's essentially unchanged, just being very careful to be a very good boy. (And Anna and his betrayal of her just popped into my head, and Castiel wouldn't do that if he didn't really believe it was the right thing. He went after in 4x10 and you could tell he didn't like it, but he's changed a lot since then and they've grown closer, and couldn't he just say "I don't know how to get in contact with her to draw her into the trap"? And Castiel just pretending doesn't make sense with his anger in 4x20, either.) Also, this makes me a meanie, but I'd like it better if Castiel didn't agree to what they were asking of him, and if the information he had was so important, if he was still consciously Cas, I don't see why he wouldn't find a way to get it to Dean anyway? Basically, I just want it to be 4x21 already, so I can see how he actually behaves and I can stop speculating.
lol @ Misha for having no idea what happened to Castiel in heaven. Do the writers not talk to the actors at all? And - I wish we'd gotten to see Anna's line about the brutal punishment, not only because it would've been nice to have that on the show, but because the 9-page treatment specified the inclusion of a reaction from Dean. ♥ I would've loved to see Dean's face upon hearing that.
ALSO, DID YOU NOTICE THAT HE SAID THE WRITERS HAVE JUST NOW GOTTEN BACK TO THE WRITING ROOM? THIS IS THE TIME TO SEND LETTERS!! XD It also means it's almost time to go off spoilers. D: