THE MOTHERFUCKING RAPTURE

[tracy_loo_who]

STILL ON SEMI-HIATUS UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT.

There's -- Jesus, there's so much I want to say about Castiel, but. oh god, oh god, okay, wait, let's start from the beginning.

Dean fishing and looking.. if not happy, then at least peaceful? This is such a gorgeous change from the dreams of Hell that it makes me ache. And you know who's responsible for this brief reprieve from the shittiness that's his lot in life, don't you? (EVEN THOUGH THINKING ABOUT CASTIEL KIND OF MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT THE MOMENT.)


Castiel knows what's about to happen, oh god, oh god, Cas, and he knows the other angels would look for him inside Dean's head, and everything about this expression is a plea to Dean to help him, after all he helped Dean last time and that's why he's in so much trouble, Jesus, Cas, Cas, Cas, his tone is so urgent, and you can hear the fear under it, oh Cas, what are they going to do to you? *CLING* D: D: D:


BREAK FOR UTTERLY SHALLOW MOMENT, YES.


To his credit, Dean does get Sam up and try to make it there as quickly as possible, but he's still too late. D: I didn't pay too much attention to all the wreckage the first time I watched it, but now, knowing Castiel made his last stand here -- HE WAS THE ONE WHO DID THAT ANGEL-REPELLING SPELL, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET? But how would that work, maybe it wouldn't affect the one who does the spell? I mean, clearly it didn't work at all, I'm just sayin'. CASTIEL TRIED SO FUCKING HARD TO STAY HERE, WITH DEAN. He tried so fucking hard and fought wing and nail but he sucks at fighting and he was ALONE, all by his fucking self, and got taken down, oh jesus, Cas. Also, did Dean really just call her "Annie"?

Gratuitous Cas!whump! \o/


AND DEAN, BEING SO FUSSY. HOLDING ONTO HIM FOR PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME HE'S SITTING UP. I mean, I'd already watched this scene like 30 times from the previews, but. SO MUCH BETTER ALL HUGE AND IN CONTEXT. And Dean all "take it easy, just take it easy!" fjklds;fjlds SO CONCERNED FOR CAS. Too bad Cas is already up in Heaven getting tortured or something because of him fjkdlsfj god I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS, SORRY, BACK TO LOVEY THINGS FOR NOW. And LOL at Sam in that second cap. :))



Yes, Misha, your rock hard pecs are still there, and we want to feel them too..


"Where the hell is Castiel?" DEAN IS SO WORRIED AND ANGRY, I LOVE THIS. UHM, AS HE SHOULD BE, THOUGH. JFKDSJAF WAH, CAS. FJKDLSFJDSLK D: D: D:


BUT LOL MISHA EATING IS THE GREATEST THING EVER LOLOLLOL. Apparently Cas doesn't, I guess that answers that question! Although he did say he hadn't eaten in months, while Castiel's been around for a whole year (I'm totally going to spazz about this "year" thing later, oh god) anyway fjklsda;f HERE, HAVE SOME CAPS OF MISHA/JIMMY EATING, AND HIS GINORMOUS, BEAUTIFUL HANDS, AND HE NOSE-SCRUNCHES IN THE LAST ONE, AND YES, I'M KIND OF SLASHING HIM AND DEAN AT THE MOMENT, EVEN THOUGH DEAN BELONGS TO CAS (WAHHH CAS, I CAN'T STOP, JESUS, CAS..), THEY COULD HAVE THIS EPIC LOVE BASED ON THEIR MUTUAL LOVE OF FOOD. AND CAS. EVEN THOUGH THEY BOTH CURSE AT HIM FROM TIME TO TIME. FJKLDSAFJLK CAS. D:




LOL DEAN. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU THINK IT'S SEXY.


Angel inside of you, it's kinda like being chained to a comet. Awww, but Jesus, I cannot think about Castiel without getting all flaily. But. What a happy motherfucking family. D:


TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO JUST CRAWL ON TOP OF THIS AND KISS YOUR WAY DOWN HIS JAW AND NECK AS YOU SLOWLY UNDO ONE BUTTON AT A TIME. ..sorry.


Dean's so protective of Jimmy. Surely this has something to do with the fact that he looks just like Cas. ♥ Oh god, but Sam talking about angel on angel violence, it was in the preview, but NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. SORT OF. EXCEPT I DON'T AND IT'S STILL KILLING ME AND OH GOD, CAS. D:


I'VE BEEN SHOT AND STABBED AND HEALED. LOL POOR JIMMY, I GUESS HE WAS AWAKE FOR DEAN AND CAS'S FIRST MEETING, HUH? ♥ (wah, Cas, wahhhh.) But man, Misha's pretty hot when he yells. And Dean is so pained about having to do this to him. :(



SLEEPING in his suit and tie, lol. But mmmm, to be able to crawl under those covers with him..


Sneaky!Misha! TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF SNEAKY!CAS THE LAST TIME WE SAW HIM BEFORE EVERYTHING WENT TO HELL (OR HEAVEN, WHATEVER, SAME THING, APPARENTLY), GOD.


Whoa. Neck. And LOL DEAN IS SO AMUSED ABOUT JIMMY HAVING ESCAPED. You just know he was secretly rooting for the guy the entire time. ♥♥♥


I don't take enough caps of Sam, do I? I ♥ Jared, I really, really do. And not just because he obviously loves Misha.


So fucking pretty I seriously cannot stand it sometimes.


No, I cannot get enough of the hand!porn, why do you ask?


Jesus, I've mentioned I love his profile, right? I fucking love Misha's profile.


Yes, your hands amaze me too, Misha. *_*


Are they TRYING to kill us? fjdksl;afjlkdnnnngh.


Hahhaha, I stopped hating Anna a long time ago. I actually maybe kind of like her a tiny bit. Especially since I ♥ Julie and Anna is no longer trying to steal Dean away from Castiel and in fact actually cares about Cas and is letting Dean in on the fact that CASTIEL IS BEING PUNISHED FOR HIM. CAS, CAS, CAS, DRAGGED BACK, WHICH IS A VERY BAD THING, PAINFULLY, AWFULLY BAD, oh god oh god, Cas, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU? *CRIES* For all that I love Cas!whump and wrote all that horrible Cas!whump myself, I SORT OF CANNOT STAND THIS BEING CANON. I mean, it's glorious, seriously, I love it, but MY HEART HURTS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. D: But the fact that Dean's does as well makes it a little better, I think. Look at Dean!


I know it's Jimmy, but still, I cannot help but go "awwww, Cas" at this. D:



This is probably how Misha would dress and look and sound at home, right? Comfortable and relaxed in a t-shirt and so casually gorgeous it kills me. I love his expressions. ♥



Nnnnnnngh, neck/jaw/mouth/lips/everything. Yes, please, loosen that tie..



CASTIEL. CASTIEL'S FIRST MOMENTS IN A HUMAN BODY. CASTIEL RIGHT BEFORE HE GOES AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH DEAN, CASTIEL WHEN HE'S SWEET AND INNOCENT AND SCHMOOPY AND HEAD-TILTY AND HASN'T BEEN FUCKING TORTURED BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE. OH, CAS, OH CAS, I might cry, I just want to hug him. fklds;afjklsd D: D: D:




How can anyone resist those puppy eyes? Oh, Misha.


THIS? This is convention!Misha. This is how fucking gorgeous he is in person, this right here. God, I just want to meet him again. D:


A YEAR. It hadn't seemed that long? But. A YEAR, that's a really long time! Castiel has been in Dean's life for a YEAR. Think about how much they must mean to each other, god.


Misha crying, awwww. :(


LOLOLOLL CANNOT STOP LAUGHING. SORRY, CONTINUE ON.



I, uh, have a bit of a thing for that scratch on his cheek. Like, a HUGE Thing, with a capital T, for that scratch on his cheek.


Still so beautifully protective. Because, after all, A YEAR. *squees*! And also, *cries*. D:


Can you actually imagine this man being real? Like, with a real life, and actually married to someone, someone has this man in her life all the time. I can't even really fathom the depth of how lucky she is.


Dean totally looks a tiny bit jealous about Cas's vessel with someone else. XD



Even gorgeous when you can see practically nothing, nngh.


It kind of makes me :| that Dean is suddenly so used to Sam's "mojo" and is by all accounts even a little bit okay with it? Uhm, but this is really kind of what I want for season 5: Sam and Dean and Castiel in the back seat. ♥

LOL MISHA'S HAIR. LOOKS LIKE A ROOSTER. LOLMISHA. ♥ Poor Jimmy just doesn't have Castiel's cosmic rays of awesome, huh?


Poor Cas gets called a son of a bitch by Jimmy, too! :)) But oh god, that reminds me, POOR CASTIEL. fklsd;afjksld; Cas, god, this is ridiculous, I'm a fucking mess. But omg MISHA, the way he says "typical" and shakes his head and slams the door OPEN as he walks in -- that was pretty fucking hot. :|


So, is it just me or does Dean look equally terrified about Sam getting shot and Castiel Jimmy getting shot? I mean, his mouth is open more for Jimmy, but Jimmy actually DID get shot, and there's gotta be some kind of gut reaction to the fact that it looks like Castiel is dying, Castiel who's been in Dean's life for a YEAR, and Dean here, oh god, Dean looks like his WORLD is shattering, like he's lost everything, he hasn't looked like this since Sam got stabbed!



More Cas!whump, with bonus hand!porn! \o/


LOL CASTITEL IS A GIRL. LOLOLOL ALL THIS TIME WE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE LILITH. BUT IT'S CASTIEL, HE'S A LITTLE GIRL. :)) :)) And finally kicking some ass, too, glad to see it. Although she kind of stole Misha's thunder here, eh? Castiel finally gets to be a little badass and that's the scene someone else gets to play him. Poor Misha. Though he does look awfully delicious all rumpled and bloody there on the floor. Really, though, I wonder what they mean by the vessel thing being in their blood? I would love to hear theories on this, if anyone's got them!


More Dean!shattering. :( But look how he and Castiel always just naturally stand next to each other! Oh, my heart.



Dean's startled look here when he thought Sam was going to use his mojo on him -- hahhhaha I'm sorry, this is a terrible moment in his life, but I sort of can't stop laughing at this face and the way he jumped out of the way with that little arm jerk thing. :)) Jensen. ♥!


Rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Does that mean human souls go to Heaven to be with angels? Does that mean DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN HAVE THEIR HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN HEAVEN? DOES IT? TELL ME IT DOES. Except, Castiel intends to use Jimmy (lol) for hundreds and thousands of years more? Does that mean he's going to stay on earth after the war's over? Is that part of his punishment?


CASTIEL IS BACK. And he still has that delicious scratch on his cheek for a few more seconds! But oh god, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU? My Cas, Dean's Cas, what did they do to Cas? Oh no, oh no, I hate watching this next part, it breaks me so so so fucking much every time, oh god. D:


THIS IS WHEN HE FIRST SEES DEAN AGAIN. I MEAN, SORT OF. I know he saw Dean when he was in the girl, but she can't act like Misha can, so she doesn't count, and anyway there was so much other stuff going on. MISHA here, though, the way Castiel looks at Dean for the first time. THIS BREAKS MY HEART. (And with only one eye, too! HE IS AS GOOD AS MICHAEL HOGAN AT CONVEYING ALL THE EMOTIONS IN THE WORLD WITH ONE EYE, IT'S OFFICIAL.) He obviously still has those feelings, and this moment is so unguarded, there's so much yearning and longing and oh god, it's only been what, one or two days on earth since he got dragged back to Heaven but it must have been so much longer for him, how long has it been since he's seen Dean? And what a sight for sore eyes, but at the same time Dean reminds him of everything he suffered in Heaven, and it reminds ME of how hard he fought to stay here, and everything just HURTS.


And Dean, so worried about his Cas, and he can't take his eyes off of him, and he just has to know what's going on, and he's kind of afraid, already, of the way Castiel won't look at him. I mean, we can't see, but you just KNOW Castiel is brushing by him and trying so fucking hard not to look and it's hurting Dean but it's hurting Cas even more because even when he turns around to look at Jimmy's family, he turns away from Dean, almost like he's scared if he turns the other way he'll see Dean and lose himself all over again. fjdsk;fjdlsjf oh, this episode.



This shot right here. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Castiel spent the first year chasing after Dean and trying to get Dean to warm up to him and now it's going to be the other way around? THIS PAIRING BREAKS MY FUCKING HEART.


CASTIEL IS SO SCARED TO LOOK AT DEAN AND HAS TO MENTALLY GATHER HIMSELF BEFORE HE CAN DO SO. FUCK, THIS HURTS.


He may be all cold and hard now but Cas is still there, you can see it in his eyes, his eyes are perpetually yearning, and god if Castiel isn't thinking "if only you'd made it in time before I got dragged back, Dean" and hurting hurting hurting, and his lines about serving Heaven and not Man and certainly not Dean -- how many times did they make him recite those lines? He sounds like he means it, and I believe he WANTS to mean it, but I don't believe he really really truly does, and Dean will break him down again, and there is going to be so much angst, I knew flirty, smirky, coy Cas from 4x18 couldn't last long but gahhhh. I will never get over this episode.


Dean here, Jesus, Dean makes me want to cry too, he looks so hurt and betrayed and yet you can see that he understands, he heard what Anna said, he knows Castiel must have gone through absolute Hell because of him, so he gets it, and he's hurt but he thinks maybe this is best for Castiel because, I mean, Dean has never thought he was worth it. He certainly doesn't think he's worth Castiel getting tortured over, so he doesn't say anything, only watches Castiel walk away, and he's so lost, doesn't know what to do without his Cas, and Jesus this is killing me.


Think it's a coincidence that Dean basically gives up on life right after Castiel walks away from him? He doesn't even care about Sam's blood drinking, he just doesn't care, he's done, done, done, because Castiel has left him and he can't take any of it anymore. Fucking lies back and gives up. Jesus, you guys, I AM SO BROKEN BY THIS EPISODE. D:


Only two more to go, oh god I'm so terrified of seeing Dean and Castiel's interactions now, but also. Jesus, whatever, I can't think about this anymore, except I kind of have to because I'm only 5k words into my big bang fic and it's due in less than a day and this episode has pretty much fucked it so now I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't write about Dean and Castiel being all happy together, not after this, not today, and. What am I going to do? Gah. D:

I will reply to comments tomorrow, after the big bang deadline, which I'll either make or I won't. Either way, do link me to anything I missed this past week if you wanted me to see it, yeah? ♥

Oh, also, Dreamwidth! It's open now, and I know a lot of you guys are getting accounts, so here's me (again)!

Comments

[katrinaswift.livejournal.com]

TEAL DEER I BET THAT NOTE SAYS:

DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK ONE:

[] YES
[] NO

[tracy.livejournal.com]

AND CASTIEL GOT SENT BACK TO HEAVEN BEFORE HE EVEN GOT HIS ANSWER! D: OH NO.

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

THEY'RE ON A BREAK, THAT'S ALL, JUST A BREAK!

I haven;t actually watched ep yet, still got about 20 minutes before it finishes downloading, but omg. What did they do to Cas? THEY BROKE HIM!

He's just faking. He's trying to protect Dean, that's all. You watch. Next ep, they won't be able to keep their eyes off each other.

Misha is so fucking pretty. LOOK AT THOSE EYES. HAND PORN. OMG.

Also, I have to lol at Cas being a little girl. Becuase we all know that Misha is a little girl, no matter how much he denies it.

The "it's in our blood" thing interests me. I keep thinking Nephilim. You know, half angel half human babies from all the while ago. Maybe Jimmy is a descendant of them? Like The Davinci Code, except without Jesus blood.


...good luck on your Big Bang, my dear. Oh jeez.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I DO hope he's faking, yes, god, I want this so badly. But somehow I don't think Kripke will let us off that easily, and certainly not before the summer hiatus? D:

MISHA WAS SO AMAZING IN THIS EPISODE. Holy FUCK, that man. *_*

Ahahahahha I THINK CASTIEL IS CHANNELING MISHA, Y/Y? IF ONLY HE'D WANTED TO BE A COOK, TOO.

But then if they all die out eventually, angels will never be able to possess humans again? :P But I do like that theory!

I.. gave up on big bang. >.<

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Awwww. *cling* I'm sorry, and yet not, because misery loves company! D: Especially the mostly-good kind of misery.

[acreativemess.livejournal.com]

God, this episode just messed me up. Because Dean needs Cas to be there, to keep him grounded when Sam does what he just did. And now he's been dropped. But it's worse because I think Dean knows that the way Cas is acting is because he has to, not because he wants to. And he feels for him, you know. Dean's not a stranger to being forced to do something you don't want to do. So it hurts, like really hurts. But Dean silently gets it, which just makes things so much worse.

God, I really want to know what happened to Cas up in heaven.

[acreativemess.livejournal.com]

And that first head tilt when Claire called him Daddy. I wanted to hug Cas so badly!

[n-isfor-neville.livejournal.com]

This episode made me realize how awesome Misha is at acting. I mean, obviously, I love his portrayal of Castiel, but when he's not Castiel anymore, everything is completely different. Different voice, different mannerisms, like I completely forgot he ever was Castiel when he was Jimmy. I'm really impressed.

The end just broke my heart, with Castiel and Dean. And then Dean and Sam. And then I busted out laughing (inappropriately?) when Bobby and Dean locked Sam up.

Also, I have to say, I was never grossed out by Sam drinking demon blood until this ep. At first I just looked at it as something that helped him kill demons, I guess the way he looked at it. We already knew he drank demon blood as a baby... but in this episode they showed how he's addicted to it, and that just made the whole thing disgusting to me. And honestly, Sam has turned into a different person this season, but it was so obvious with this ep. Like, I think Dean's truly scared of Sam. I kind of am too!

ok, enough rambling from me. It's late and I tend not to make sense when I ramble.

[acreativemess.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on being grossed out by Sam. But I got grossed out when he straight drank from Ruby's are before they got down and dirty. But this episode, ugh. He's a friggin' junky and it's just nasty!

[kitsu84.livejournal.com]

I would just like to point out the best parts of this episode:

1. Misha eating. Just, DAMN. I want me some of that.
2. Dean being all grabby hands and 'where the hell is castiel'. Kitsu's shipper heart goes 'BOOM BOOM'.
3. Jealous!Dean when Jimmy hugs his wife. Yeah, I saw what he did thar, bb.
4. The way Misha looked on the bus ride. I want to lick his neck...
5. Dean swerving Metallicar when Anna appeared. That shit was LULZY as hell.
6. Dean's 'I've lost everything' expression when Jimmy's shot. Kitsu's shipper heart fractures.
7. "I learned my lesson while I was away. I serve Heaven, not man. And most certainly not you." Kitsu's shipper heart SHATTERS.

AND NOW THIS:


This expression. Seriously, just look at it for a second. Cas looks as if he is about to break out in tears at any moment. With that image alone, it's clear to see just how much Dean means to him.

BRB. Gonna go cry myself to sleep...

[tracy.livejournal.com]

1. I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST HAD BREAKFAST WITH HIM AND ALMOST GOT TO WATCH HIM EAT? THAT PROSPECT WAS NEVER THAT EXCITING UNTIL THIS EPISODE.
2. Actually I would've liked to see more Dean!worry throughout the ep in general, but the moments where he DID worry were gold. ♥
3. It wasn't just jealousy, it was.. severe distaste, too. XD
4. THIS.
5. Ahahahahha, you'd think he'd be used to it by now, what with Castiel having been around FOR A YEAR. D:
6. Oh my god, yes, I found out then that it was possible to squee and break at the same time. D:
7. THIS MOMENT HURTS ME MORE THAN ANYTHING AND YET IT'S THE ONE I CANNOT STOP WATCHING. D:

EVERYTHING ABOUT CASTIEL IN THAT MOMENT BREAKS ME. He really really really really does care about Dean so fucking much, and I think saying that might've hurt him more than it hurt Dean, even. Oh god. *cling*

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

KJ;SAGDGFGFGFGSDJ I was expecting to come out of this episode all squeeful and joyful, but. THEY BROKE CASTIEL. ASGDHSGLDAHSJG Oh fuck, Cas, just - he was getting in touch with his emotions and doubting and loving Dean and sneaking his way around the rules, and they caught him, and they broke him. What did they do to him? This hurts. DDDD: He was only just getting there, it was such a tentative start, and now he's going to have to do it all over again, but it'll be harder this time, and AAAARGH.

Also, Jimmy did not die. In fact, he's suffering all the time while Castiel is with him. I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO WITH THIS.

SHOW! I AM IN PAIN! MAKE IT BETTER NOW PLZ ZSK;JLFGSHGDSHFDSH

LOL, Castiel in the little girl. LOLOLOL. LOL. BUT UGH JUST THINKING ABOUT CAS AND THE WAY HE USED TO BE HURTS JHGFHDSGFDHS FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT

ETA: Castiel was different when he first possessed Jimmy. That head-tilt - it was cute, but kinda robotic. That was a Cas that knew jack about humans and didn't particularly care. It's almost like he's reverted back to form at the end of the episode, but it's not like the changes never happened, it's that they BROKE HIM. AARGH CAS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! Ugh ugh ugh, I love me some whump!fic too, but I've always been a little conflicted about it, because as yummy as it is, at the same time, Castiel is adorable and innocent and I want to hug him and protect him from all the evils of the world. (This is the first time I've subscribed to the "comfort" part of hurt/comfort.) AND NOW THE WHUMP IS CANON BUT CASTIEL ISN'T OKAY SJDGSLGFDHS

[timbitsu.livejournal.com]

WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES THAT CAS WAS DRAGGED BACK TO HEAVEN AND PRESUMABLY GIVEN A SPANKING? D: It makes me feel like a bad person. D:

Also, I'm not too happy about the Jimmy still being alive part. God, I am awful. =(

[latvela.livejournal.com]

Jimmy leaning his head against the bus window is now very possibly my most favorite shot of him on the show. Or at the very least in my top 3. And that is saying a huge, huge lot.

Wonderful recap as always!! Thank you for the pretty!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THAT SHOT. God, that man's prettiness makes me ache.

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

He doesn't even care about Sam's blood drinking, he just doesn't care, he's done, done, done, because Castiel has left him and he can't take any of it anymore. Fucking lies back and gives up. Jesus, you guys, I AM SO BROKEN BY THIS EPISODE.

so, so true!!!

I'm still too flaily to write about it... poor everyone!!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

BUT ESPECIALLY CASTIEL. D: His feelings were so NEW and wonderous and TENTATIVE and he just got them BEATEN OUT OF HIM. At least everyone else has loved, and loved hard, and loved good. D:

[timbitsu.livejournal.com]

I'm going to be awful and blasphemousss. =P

Honestly, I lol'd my way through some of the episode. =D When Cas first possesses Jimmy, he looked like the Terminator or some other robot/puppet/clueless zombie??? And his delivery of "I am not your father" alksdj hahaha. XD Dude, and the way he looked so lost as he walked away, like a puppy just aimlessly wandering off, lololol. But I think the best part was when Jimmy was begging Castiel to take him instead of his daughter. The voice he used reminded me of that vid where he's a crazy person clinging to the side of a cliff, you know the one! So...I really couldn't take it seriously. D:

Anyway, as for the rest of it, I actually like Castiel being reprimanded and forced to show indifference towards Dean. It adds so much more canon!angst to their relationship, and I can just imagine all the awesome hurt!Dean fanfic that this'll spawn. <3 Also, I tend to sway the other way in terms of Cas torture. I think I prefer it to be in canon instead of in fic because most of the Cas torture fics I've read make him seem so pathetic. At least if it's canon and not explicitly shown, I can imagine him being manly about it. =D

I cannot wait for the nice HQ caps to be posted. There were points in the ep where Misha was just gorgeous. I especially like the moment right after Cas possesses Jimmy and looks around at the world for the first time through his eyes. His pink nose and ears a;sldkjfasd <3

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR BIG BANG FIC! ♥

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

When Cas first possesses Jimmy, he looked like the Terminator or some other robot/puppet/clueless zombie???

I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING. I was like "LOL, it's the Terminator!" That was the point, though, I think. Castiel at that point was emotionless!Cas.

[littlestclouds.livejournal.com]

I really loved how Misha played Castiel and Jimmy, and how different they were, just through the way he walks and talks as Castiel as opposed to Jimmy. Nice work, Mr. Collins.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Yes! And the switches were instantaneous, that man is amazing. *_*

[emptyheaven.livejournal.com]

I literally whimpered when Castiel said that last line and walked away *sniffles* Bastard angels taking my Dean/Cas smexing away!!

But god, the first scene too with Dean fishing in his dream... poor thing. is it weird that the first thing that popped into my head when Cas told Dean he had to meet him and gave him the piece of paper was 'oh my god! Did Dean just get a booty call?!'

Good luck with big bang! A lot of the people I know who are doing it are having a major flail right now.

[acreativemess.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA! Angel Booty calls. That's funny!

[iladora.livejournal.com]

omg this one: http://pics.livejournal.com/tracy_loo_who/pic/001h978x

yeahh, I got all tingly :P

good luck with the big bang!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Jesus, I must've watched those few seconds about twenty times, nngh.

Yeah, gave up on big bang, oops? -.-

[tracy.livejournal.com]

What! I hope you've found it, the final four minutes were pretty big. D:

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Well, big bang has very strict deadlines and posting schedules and stuff, but I dropped out anyway, so no worries about that anymore!

JIMMY BROKE MY HEART. D: Poor guy, being tied to a comet for hundreds and thousands of years.. I really don't even want Castiel to be on Earth for that long, though! Imagine him all by himself, wandering around on Earth without Dean... D:

Dean is definitely at the end of the line. This was fucking rough for him, seeing Sam drink blood and then having the one angel he could count on practically break up with him in a matter of several minutes? That would push anyone to the edge. D:

he wants him to save the world, no matter what the repercussions might be to Dean himself

THIS breaks my heart. Castiel still believes in him, of course, but only because he believes in destiny and the prophecy and all that crap, not because he believes in DEAN. That hurts a lot. :|

It is next week, and yes, I've seen the previews! Castiel is so cold to Dean. :( He's spent this whole year trying to get Dean to that very position and now he can't even be all <3 about it, wah.

And I can't believe Dean would repeat John's words back at Sam after all these years. Jesus, this is going to hurt.

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

Okay, I watched it. *kicks Misha in his shin* STOP MAKING ME CRY, YOU BASTARD.

I kid, I kid. This was like a Misha fan's wet dream. So much of him, and such awesomeness. I want a Jimmy to call my own. My best friend is coming over tomorrow, and she insists we watch it. SIGH. The things I do for her. It might be hard for me to watch it again and again and again, but I'll just have to force myself...

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm so torn between being \o/\o/\o/ about all the Misha and D: over all the utter heartbreak. And it IS hard to watch it again and again, but I've done it anyway, because I'm a miserable person, apparently!

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

I will never get over this episode.

Me neither, BB..Everything about Castiel and Dean's last scene ripped me apart...it has shattered so much for me..:((
And I shudder to think exactly what they did to Castiel up there in Heaven..

LOVE YOUR POST THOUGH AND ALL THE GORGEOUS PRETTY CAPS! MISHA!! OHHHHHHH MISHA!! *draws hearts all around him* HE FUCKING ROCKED THIS EPPY!! *flails crazily*

GOOD LUCK WITH BIGBANG! YOU CAN DO IT, BB! <333333333333333333!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I just want to KNOW what they did to Cas, but I'm afraid they'll either gloss over it entirely or wait until next season to tell us or something evil like that. D:

God, yes, MISHA WAS SO AMAZING. The instantaneous changes between Cas and Jimmy.. oh, Misha. and MISHA EATING! \o/

Hahahha turns out I couldn't, but thank you anyway! ♥

[ran-cl.livejournal.com]

Somehow I hope so hard that Cas was just putting on an act in the end to Dean because his superiors were watching or sth...Whatever they did to Cas...must be terrible...my Heart was totally broken after this epi for Jimmy , Cas , Dean and Sam...

Will be waiting for your Big Bang...I bet the epi will change your ending ... ?! *pats*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Actually I can't decide if I want him to be faking.. of course we get quicker gratification that way when things get fixed, but on the other hand, the more broken Cas is the sweeter it'll be in the end when he DOES get fixed.

It really says something about this episode when you're like "my heart was totally broken for.." and then go on to list like, ALL THE CHARACTERS. Gahhh, show. D: But I love it.

Hah, this episode changed everything, but I may still try to write a longer fic this summer, just not as part of big bang since I've already dropped out, oops.

[darksilvercat.livejournal.com]

*sobs quietly in the corner*

Holy crap I don't even know where to start. I don't know if I can start. So much to process, and all I can think is what was Castiel going to tell him?! And what did they do to Cas to get him back in line?!

I need to hunt down Misha and have him explain himself because I asked him a question about Castiel and faith during the con and he gave us the runaround a little and NOW I KNOW WHY. Oh Misha what does it all mean?! What couldn't you tell us? What did you tell us that we may not have realised at the time?! And what in God's name is going to happen now?! We need Castiel to be on the Winchester's side, we need someone to genuinely be on Dean's side, especially with the next two episodes shaping up to be utterly devastating. I can't help feeling like Dean really is about to lose everything, Sam, Cas, even Bobby.

I need to watch this episode a million times and then go curl up in a corner somewhere and not move until next Friday.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*clings* That was pretty much my reaction, too! D:

I guess there are theories that Castiel found out whatever Chuck saw and wanted to tell Dean that? to warn him about something? Though I'm not sure I quite buy it because clearly Castiel knows that what was written shall come to pass and all that. I dunno, maybe he just wanted to prepare Dean emotionally.

Wait, wait, was this in your recap? I'll have to read that more carefully, I DO wonder what he said (and didn't say) about Castiel and faith! fjkdl;aflkjsdflksj

I can't help feeling like Dean really is about to lose everything, Sam, Cas, even Bobby.

THIS. Wah. Cas will still be around, of course, but I don't know how his coldness will affect Dean, this is terrible, I'm freaking out all over again. and SO TERRIFIED OF NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT.

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

'Only two more to go, oh god I'm so terrified of seeing Dean and Castiel's interactions now'
Me too. I really don't want Castiel to be a dick with wings. Dean needs someone on his side.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm sure Cas will come back around at some point, but it's the wait that hurts. :(

[vyrantium.livejournal.com]

This episode absolutely broke me too... I had no idea how to feel after witnessing all of that, and I still don't today. I'm freaking out for Dean most of all, but Cas too obviously. But POOR DEAN! He just found out about his father's double life... just witnessed his brother, the person who's supposed to be the most important thing in his world, drinking blood straight from a demon... just had the one thing he could count on turn away from him... and then those previews?? WTF KRIPKE??? POOR DEAN! I still can't believe he tells Sam the same thing John told him... I never thought I'd see the day where Dean said, "if you walk out that door don't you ever come back," with so much conviction. It's clear Sam has absolutely left him too and now with Cas being distant I have no idea what to think :( :(

Part of me thinks this next episode will be the last one where Sam and Dean are together as any semblance of family... I can't help but think Dean will agree to serve heaven and go his way while Sam goes to be Lucifer or at the very least his right hand man :/ UGH THE DRAMA! I hate this. I hate what they're doing to Dean, damn it... and by extension Castiel as well :(

On a semi-cheery note though, this Dreamwidth thing looks interesting! Do you have any invite codes by chance, or are we forced to donate? *is short on funds* xD

[tracy.livejournal.com]

You're right, I've been so caught up in the Cas angst that Dean's kind of took a backseat, but seriously, DEAN. Seeing the depths of Sam's fall already shattered him, and only MINUTES later the one person (other than Bobby) who he thought he could go to and count on when all else failed walks away from him. Oh Jesus, Dean, and yes, I've seen those previews, and also cannot believe Dean would repeat John's words back at Sam. I really really really wonder what led to THAT level of.. severance.

There will be some more Dean and Sam next week, I'm sure, but it's going to be angsty as fuck, sigh.

In conclusion: Wah.

I do! Gimme your email. :D

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

My God, this picspam. I can always count on you for providing the amazing scenes with commentary because dammit, I needs some commentary to squee and agree with. ♥

This episode was just...everything I expected, and more. From the cuteness factor to the angst, to all things in between. JIMMY BEING ALL ADORABLE AND PROTECTIVE OF HIS FAMILY! But of course we have him sacrificing himself for his family, for everything. ;__; And then we have Castiel returning, but coming back different (being "reborn" in a sense or "lobotomized" by Heaven's standards to keep him in line), which makes me so frakking sad. Just, GAH.

I don't really think Castiel is that broken though from Heaven, he just knows not to tread dangerously close to what they could do to him, and him being dragged back upstairs was him getting that reality check.

Just, looking at those screencaps makes me all giddy and smiling like an idiot again. I loved how Misha played Jimmy, and then Castiel when he first took hold of the vessel (lol totes new experience for a celestial being who never had been human before, all cold and calculating with his deadpan "I am not your father" and walked off - definitely foreshadowing him walking away from Dean in the end, though D:) And the way Misha's eyes just emotes and you just feel for the poor guy, and those flashbacks and omg.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Feeling is mutual, bb (except for the picspam, technically, but your meta more than makes up for that). ♥!

Actually this episode was NOT what I was expecting. I was expecting some sort of epic reunion between Dean and Cas at the end, and to be full of shipper joy and squee, I was NOT expecting to have my heart ripped to shreds. :P Also I was expecting Jimmy to die and his soul to go to Heaven.. to have him be "tied to a comet" for hundreds/thousands of years? Wah. D:

But on the bright side, HOW AMAZING WAS MISHA? Omg, that man, I LOVED Jimmy, and I loved Castiel, so cold but so so so hurt.

Have you seen the previews? I actually DO think they're going to genuinely-cold Castiel route for awhile, until next season, anyway. Which scares the fuck out of me.

I hadn't seen the parallels between Castiel walking away from Claire and him walking away from Dean, but you're so right, hahha I think you are the queen of parallels. XD But gah, everything just HURTS.

[cherazz.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, this episode o_O It completely wrecked me!

Your recap is made of epic win, bb♥

"Castiel knows what's about to happen, oh god, oh god, Cas, and he knows the other angels would look for him inside Dean's head, and everything about this expression is a plea to Dean to help him, after all he helped Dean last time and that's why he's in so much trouble, Jesus, Cas, Cas, Cas, his tone is so urgent, and you can hear the fear under it, oh Cas, what are they going to do to you? *CLING* D: D: D:"
- OH GOD, I know ;_; I could see the absolute terror on his face; it killed me! CAS ;_;

"HE WAS THE ONE WHO DID THAT ANGEL-REPELLING SPELL, HOW MUCH DO YOU WANNA BET? But how would that work, maybe it wouldn't affect the one who does the spell? I mean, clearly it didn't work at all, I'm just sayin'. CASTIEL TRIED SO FUCKING HARD TO STAY HERE, WITH DEAN. He tried so fucking hard and fought wing and nail but he sucks at fighting and he was ALONE, all by his fucking self, and got taken down, oh jesus, Cas."
- YES! YES! It was so him! Thinking of how hard he fought to stay just makes me sob again ;_;

"AND DEAN, BEING SO FUSSY. HOLDING ONTO HIM FOR PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRE TIME HE'S SITTING UP."
- I totally loved this so hard! Dean being so protective of his bb♥

"TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT TO JUST CRAWL ON TOP OF THIS AND KISS YOUR WAY DOWN HIS JAW AND NECK AS YOU SLOWLY UNDO ONE BUTTON AT A TIME. ..sorry."
- Oh please, do not apologize one bit! You voiced the thoughts of all the fandom with that right there 0=) Fuck yes!

"SLEEPING in his suit and tie, lol. But mmmm, to be able to crawl under those covers with him.."
- Rofl, at him possibly sleeping in his shoes too! Oh Jimmy =P I so want to crawl in with him...let's all take turns snuggling =P

"Nnnnnnngh, neck/jaw/mouth/lips/everything. Yes, please, loosen that tie.."
- *goes thud and dies* I just about fainted at him tugging on that tie! FUCK! *licks him all up*

"Can you actually imagine this man being real? Like, with a real life, and actually married to someone, someone has this man in her life all the time. I can't even really fathom the depth of how lucky she is."
- He's so amazing it is hard to believe he's real! She is so damn lucky I tell you! DAMN!

"LOL MISHA'S HAIR. LOOKS LIKE A ROOSTER. LOLMISHA. ♥ Poor Jimmy just doesn't have Castiel's cosmic rays of awesome, huh?"
- ROFL! That's what it is! Cosmic rays of awesome xDDDD I love it!

"And finally kicking some ass, too, glad to see it. Although she kind of stole Misha's thunder here, eh? Castiel finally gets to be a little badass and that's the scene someone else gets to play him. Poor Misha."
- Oh man, I know! That's exactly what I was thinking! Poor Misha is so so eager to kick some ass =P That girl did an awesome job acting as Cas though!

"He obviously still has those feelings, and this moment is so unguarded, there's so much yearning and longing and oh god, it's only been what, one or two days on earth since he got dragged back to Heaven but it must have been so much longer for him, how long has it been since he's seen Dean? And what a sight for sore eyes, but at the same time Dean reminds him of everything he suffered in Heaven, and it reminds ME of how hard he fought to stay here, and everything just HURTS."
- Yes *whimpers* Hold me! Misha has the best eyes on the planet, y/y?

"He may be all cold and hard now but Cas is still there, you can see it in his eyes, his eyes are perpetually yearning, and god if Castiel isn't thinking "if only you'd made it in time before I got dragged back, Dean" and hurting hurting hurting, and his lines about serving Heaven and not Man and certainly not Dean -- how many times did they make him recite those lines? He sounds like he means it, and I believe he WANTS to mean it, but I don't believe he really really truly does, and Dean will break him down again, and there is going to be so much angst"
- *sobs* I can't fucking wait! It's going to be so epic when he breaks down for Dean ;_; The yearning is so thick is nearly palpable! Cas, we love you bb!

"Think it's a coincidence that Dean basically gives up on life right after Castiel walks away from him?"
- Oh heck no! Such a good point! They so need some make-up sex now! *whimpers again*

NEED MORE NOW x_X

[tracy.livejournal.com]

WRECKED ME TOO, BB. D:

That really WAS Cas's "absolute terror" face, and it kills me to think that he was all alone in that warehouse, putting up a hell of a better fight than he usually does in his absolute desperation and then getting beaten down anyway. All the while without even having gotten to see Dean. D:

His shoes! Aww, that reminds me of Misha's shoes, I love Misha's shoes.

I really liked the little girl's portrayal of Cas except for the way she said "of course we keep our promises" etc, because she blinked too many times. :P *nit-picky*

MISHA DEFINITELY HAS THE BEST EYES ON THE PLANET.

I can't wait for the next two episodes, but at the same time, I'm kind of terrified of them. D:

[lena3.livejournal.com]

Man, they are giving us Dean/Castiel on a plate!! Cas got in bad, bad trouble for liking Dean. But the last line Cas says and the very first scene? Wow. Yeah. Incoherent.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you see this as giving Dean/Castiel to us on a plate! I do also, but at the same time it HURTS and depresses me completely. Sigh.

[qwertypoiuq.livejournal.com]

ASDJIASGHJKO YESSSSSS. I DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO COME UP WITH EPISODE REACTIONS THAT INVOLVE THESE TWO ANYMORE, BECAUSE YOU JUST SAY IT ALL AND I JUST... GAH. IT BROKE ME SO SO SOSOSOOO MUCH, DEAN'S LITTLE FACE WHEN CAS BROKE UP WITH HIM OMG. ;_;

He obviously still has those feelings, and this moment is so unguarded, there's so much yearning and longing and oh god, it's only been what, one or two days on earth since he got dragged back to Heaven but it must have been so much longer for him, how long has it been since he's seen Dean? And what a sight for sore eyes, but at the same time Dean reminds him of everything he suffered in Heaven, and it reminds ME of how hard he fought to stay here, and everything just HURTS.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OH MY GOD. *dies inside again*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE CASTIEL BROKE UP WITH HIM ONLY MINUTES AFTER DEAN WITNESSED THE DEPTHS OF SAM'S FALL. JFC, POOR DEAN. DON'T PILE ON THE ANGST OR ANYTHING, KRIPKE. D:

Please let them be fixed soon. :(