the new love of my life~
Dec. 15th, 2010 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tracy_loo_whoTHIS FIC: The Voice of The Turtledove by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
obstinatrix
(NC-17; Castiel was eleven years old when he first felt there was something wrong with him. He's twenty-nine, a Roman Catholic priest in a small New England village, before Dean Winchester shows him that there isn't. AU.)
I cannot even believe I've spent the past few weeks on inexcusable things such as surfing and baking giant rectangular cookies and going home with cute Portuguese boys only to end up sleeping with their cats instead (how do these things even happen) when I could have been reading this fic. Inexcusable because every day that I've let pass me by without having this fic in my life has been a MORTAL TRANSGRESSION.
But I sort of made up for it by staying up until 4 am last night reading the whole thing and then waking up 2-3 hours later of my own accord when I should have been passed out in a dead sleep and just lying in bed replaying scenes in my head and basking in my ABSOLUTE LOVE for it. This has continued throughout the workday, I have been smiling obnoxiously like the token Annoyingly Happy Person and being in love with this fic like it's my new boyfriend.
NO BUT REALLY. Excuse me while I paste the gush I left in a comment on the story because I cannot help but get my gush every-fucking-where:
This fic is everything I've ever wanted a fic to be, and a lot of things I didn't know I wanted until I read it. I've never had a priest!kink and the few priest!Cas fics I've tried to read haven't done anything for me, but this is the priest!Cas fic to end all priest!Cas fics and the raw, all-consuming UST in the beginning is enthrallingly agonizing. Then the sex -- holy crap the sex -- every bit as electrifying and exhilarating as the buildup and then some. Dean is written so compellingly, both in terms of physical appeal and strength of character, I can't even express how much I love this version of him.
And Castiel's tortured journey through loneliness and want and internalized self-hatred to acceptance and confidence is one of the most reaffirming and liberating things I have ever read in my life. This is better than all of the "It Gets Better" videos I watched put together, and especially now, with the whole debate over repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" going on and Marine Corps generals predicting that allowing gay people to openly serve might actually kill people, I find myself getting worked up over this more often than usual and just wish everyone in the world would read this fic. I mean, it's AU, so it's not like anyone even has to watch Supernatural or know who Dean and Castiel are to understand and love this story.
Plus, I think the author's writing style may be my favorite ever. Fancy, poetic writing is usually not my thing because while I can admire the way words are cleverly crafted to paint a gorgeous image, any sort of emotional response gets lost amidst all that I'm-obviously-trying-so-very-hard imagery. Extensively rich world-building is also not my thing because again, the emotional response gets lost somewhere along the way. But this fic has the perfect balance of evocative prose that's refreshing and a joy to read but doesn't draw attention to the writing itself, and the perfect amount of attention to detail to be vivid but not distracting. And Castiel's narrative voice is so heart-breakingly true to real life I physically ache when he does and his happiness, when he finally achieves it, makes me pervasively giddy.
Ugh ugh ugh sorry for the extended brain barf, I swear I will stop here and actually do something useful like finally update my rec list, but SERIOUSLY THIS FIC IS EXQUISITE YOU GUYS.
Other highlight of my day: Card frombindaroonie! SO CUTE and SO MUCH FUN, Ilu and Cas's pink feather and handprint tattoo of profound bonding forever, bb. ♥♥♥
obstinatrix (NC-17; Castiel was eleven years old when he first felt there was something wrong with him. He's twenty-nine, a Roman Catholic priest in a small New England village, before Dean Winchester shows him that there isn't. AU.)
I cannot even believe I've spent the past few weeks on inexcusable things such as surfing and baking giant rectangular cookies and going home with cute Portuguese boys only to end up sleeping with their cats instead (how do these things even happen) when I could have been reading this fic. Inexcusable because every day that I've let pass me by without having this fic in my life has been a MORTAL TRANSGRESSION.
But I sort of made up for it by staying up until 4 am last night reading the whole thing and then waking up 2-3 hours later of my own accord when I should have been passed out in a dead sleep and just lying in bed replaying scenes in my head and basking in my ABSOLUTE LOVE for it. This has continued throughout the workday, I have been smiling obnoxiously like the token Annoyingly Happy Person and being in love with this fic like it's my new boyfriend.
NO BUT REALLY. Excuse me while I paste the gush I left in a comment on the story because I cannot help but get my gush every-fucking-where:
This fic is everything I've ever wanted a fic to be, and a lot of things I didn't know I wanted until I read it. I've never had a priest!kink and the few priest!Cas fics I've tried to read haven't done anything for me, but this is the priest!Cas fic to end all priest!Cas fics and the raw, all-consuming UST in the beginning is enthrallingly agonizing. Then the sex -- holy crap the sex -- every bit as electrifying and exhilarating as the buildup and then some. Dean is written so compellingly, both in terms of physical appeal and strength of character, I can't even express how much I love this version of him.
And Castiel's tortured journey through loneliness and want and internalized self-hatred to acceptance and confidence is one of the most reaffirming and liberating things I have ever read in my life. This is better than all of the "It Gets Better" videos I watched put together, and especially now, with the whole debate over repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" going on and Marine Corps generals predicting that allowing gay people to openly serve might actually kill people, I find myself getting worked up over this more often than usual and just wish everyone in the world would read this fic. I mean, it's AU, so it's not like anyone even has to watch Supernatural or know who Dean and Castiel are to understand and love this story.
Plus, I think the author's writing style may be my favorite ever. Fancy, poetic writing is usually not my thing because while I can admire the way words are cleverly crafted to paint a gorgeous image, any sort of emotional response gets lost amidst all that I'm-obviously-trying-so-very-hard imagery. Extensively rich world-building is also not my thing because again, the emotional response gets lost somewhere along the way. But this fic has the perfect balance of evocative prose that's refreshing and a joy to read but doesn't draw attention to the writing itself, and the perfect amount of attention to detail to be vivid but not distracting. And Castiel's narrative voice is so heart-breakingly true to real life I physically ache when he does and his happiness, when he finally achieves it, makes me pervasively giddy.
Ugh ugh ugh sorry for the extended brain barf, I swear I will stop here and actually do something useful like finally update my rec list, but SERIOUSLY THIS FIC IS EXQUISITE YOU GUYS.
Other highlight of my day: Card from
bindaroonie! SO CUTE and SO MUCH FUN, Ilu and Cas's pink feather and handprint tattoo of profound bonding forever, bb. ♥♥♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-12-16 09:21 am (UTC)*blushing madly*
no subject
Date: 2010-12-16 11:44 am (UTC)I've been snowed under with work and I read in such a hurry that I KNOW I missed many, lovely details. I haven't had a chance to re-read and give you some feedback, and I feel terrible about it. (
I promise to do it when I get my life back next week!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-16 11:46 am (UTC)Anyway - thank you. ♥ I'm so pleased you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-16 12:08 pm (UTC)(I really did love your fic though. And as the offspring of a Catholic, I can see how much research went into it, too!)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-17 07:42 pm (UTC)Totally forgot to ask before, in my excitement -- do you happen to have a pdf or some other downloadable format of this fic?
no subject
Date: 2010-12-17 09:54 pm (UTC)I do indeed! Do you have an email address I can send it to?
no subject
Date: 2010-12-17 10:17 pm (UTC)