In which Tracy takes up mocking BSG again...

[tracy_loo_who]

	CYLONS: You may think this movie is about our plan, but notice how those big red words appear over the Galactica? Yeah, this movie is actually about their plan and how their predecessors programmed us to eternally confuse the words "plan" and "improvisation" to ensure their own survival.
	BOY-STABBING!CAVIL: You've interrupted my improvisation. PYRAMIDOFDREAMS!CAVIL: Only because you're doing it wrong. Allow me to tell you about all the fun, tingly things I learned from ~♥~Kara/Sam~♥~. Most of them pertain to this region of the body. *points* BOY-STABBING!CAVIL: If we weren't about to be airlocked soon I'd stab your little boy, too.
	TRICIA: Was the billing order determined by the amount of clothing we had on in this movie or something?
	MOVIE: Pause for a moment to contemplate this scene and its sticky, incestuous, somnophilic orgy possibilities.
	CAVIL: Maybe if I get some limp wrist action going on it will make me feel better about letting this body of yours be destroyed.
	EJO: I have a theory that the number of copies this movie will sell and thus our chances of getting another movie are directly correlated with the number of boobies in it. CAVIL: I have a theory that it's socially acceptable to not only find your trashed mother in a strip club, but to hit on her. FANS: Has it not occurred to you that this sort of thing might be why she never liked you very much in the first place?
	SAM: I bottom for Coach only.
	HYBRID: The oceans of Aquaria are burning. FANS: Orly? I wonder why this is the scenario that has no visual to go with it.
	GAETA: Look how filled with youthful optimism and conviction and functional limbs I am. :(
	TORY: FML. (As usual.)
	LEE: Busy counting screentime, brb. So far I have 7 seconds.
	SAM: You're the boss, Coach. COACH: ...Actually I think I'll let you top this time. SAM: :O
	LEE: I'm up to 25 seconds now!
	COLONIAL FLEET: All of our ships basically have huge neon "frak here" signs on their assholes but we don't understand why the cylons keep pursuing us every 33 minutes.
	ELLEN: Who are you? CAVIL: I'm the guy who saved you from the end of the world while miraculously not getting a scratch on myself. I can has sexytiems nao? ELLEN: Can I have end-of-the-world!sex with Saul instead? CAVIL: No. D:
	SAM: I have very sound reasons for why we should do this very dangerous thing. SIMON: And those are? SAM: We'll risk death by breathing otherwise. And also, I have a thigh kink.
	TIGH: They don't look very happy. ADAMA: They got cheated out of their end-of-the-world!sex. TIGH: Oh shit, now that you mention...
	CAVIL: Well, it's a good thing none of the thousands of genocide survivors who saw my fliers decided they needed some spiritual guidance today.
	DORAL: Luckily I didn't choose the maroon jacket. That might've been a little too close to burgundy for comfort. CAVIL: It bothers me that your jacket isn't in a more crimson shade, actually. Fix immediately.
	SAM: I hate topping. D: JEAN: It's not your fault they breathed too hard, really.
	LEOBEN: Most baby birds imprint on the first thing they see. Since I am obviously not a baby bird, I imprint on the first thing I hear via radio transmitter instead.
	SAM WINCHESTER: I know you're not human if only because the Puppy Eyes of Doom don't work on you.
	GIANNA: What, no spare oxygen cylinders? CHIEF: Unlike my girlfriend, there are not many copies.
	BOOMER: I feel like I'm gonna die. SIX: You are. :D BOOMER: No wonder I end up liking the humans better.
	CAVIL: Your plan involves getting all wet? BOOMER: Chief Tyrol will love it. CAVIL: Incest makes me smile even when homicide didn't.
	CAVIL: If you'd married Tory, I wouldn't be threatening you right now.
	SAM: What did I tell you about breathing? If you do it a little harder you'll get us both killed, srsly.
	DORAL: I can get another body, but not another teal jacket. ADAMA: How will you find it again once you resurrect, though? DORAL: Oh frak. This is kind of like recording a suicide tape right before driving off a bridge, isn't it?
	CAVIL: I notice you have a very nice neck and am feeling the beginnings of tingly fanboyishness.
	SIMON: Surely this must be destiny. CAVIL: But we can't express our love for each other openly. SIMON: Like Aragorn and Legolas! CAVIL: ... SIMON: I just watched The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, what can I say.
	CAVIL: You're late. You look terrible. SIMON: ... CAVIL: ... SIMON: Isn't this the part where you're supposed to give me a necklace? CAVIL: We're still not Aragorn and Legolas, dude.
	LEOBEN: I don't understand why, but listening to this mixed tape of love and holding it against my heart makes me feel strangely compelled to paint vagina-shaped things on the wall.
	CAVIL: Sadly, this is as close to kissing Daddy Galen as I'll ever come.
	SIX: You're every bit as firm as I imagined. GAIUS: No more of that for you. And no more Mr. Nice Gaius Junior, either. SIX: D:
	CAVIL: I don't care of Kara plucked puppies from God's ass. LEOBEN: What if she plucked the heart out of some really hot dude? Say, a pyramid player? CAVIL: Please, the day a One falls for that ~true love~ bullshit is the day we hold hands and saunter vaguely into an airlock together.
	GAIUS: What nice, firm, working legs you've got. GAETA: Why was I not openly gay yet at this point?
	EJO: A little something for the folks who swing this way, too. See? I am equal opportunity. The best part is, there was absolutely no reason for them to walk through the head.
	SIX: I pushed him! CAVIL: Generally they prefer when you tug and pull. SIX: Oh, thanks for the tip, I'll just-- CAVIL: Another case of recording a tape and not being able to send it out before you kill yourself. Bye now.
	LEOBEN: Mommy? KARA: Wtf. LEOBEN: I imprinted on you. KARA: That makes this kind of incestuous... LEOBEN: It's a cylon theme, bb.
	BOOMER: Remember what I said about loving myself as a human? Yeah, I really, really love myself. CHIEF: ...I would be vaguely jealous of that gun if I were around right now.
	SIMON: You're late. You look terrible. GIANNA: I'm not gonna role play with you either. SIMON: FML.
	LEE: 6 more seconds, that makes 31 now! With bonus handcuffs, even.
	ADAMA: I swear I washed my hand after getting out of bed this morning, this is so unnecessary. :( LEE: Another half second in the background! I think I'll round up to a whole second since there's also a tiny bit of me fretting over Daddy dearest, who was thoughtful enough to give me these handcuffs in the first place.
	LEE: \O/\O/\O/ Total count: 33 seconds aka 0.49% of the entire movie! \O/\O/\O/
	SIMON: No one understands my LotR love. I think it's time to kill myself.
	SIX: Luckily I know a thing or two about tugging and pulling. CAVIL: That's why you're the only non-FF cylon in the fleet who survives this movie. EJO: Or it might be because she gets mostly naked later. Just sayin'.
	EJO: Nothing says dedication like showing the world your wife's boobies and making her do a sex scene, right?
	SIX: Doral, Boomer, Leoben, my sister Six, and Simon all fail at life, and so do you because your improvisation sucks. In conclusion, I should be mostly naked. :D CAVIL: I concur.
	TIGH: We clearly think your husband is a cylon because he killed himself. GIANNA: He really did kill himself, I swear. He was even smart enough to leave his suicide note where I could find it before it was too late. TIGH: Oh, clearly he's not a cylon, then.
	SIMON: He loves her. CAVIL: Why am I getting this tingly feeling? SIMON: It's a natural physical reaction, don't worry.
	SAM WINCHESTER: Maybe he is human after all. CAVIL: Just being the creepy priest in the background keeping my eye on a small boy, don't mind me.
	SAM: If you were looking for a big, strong dom, you've picked the wrong time. I bottom for Kara now and I like it. CAVIL: The tingles, they grow stronger.
	GIANNA: My lover was a cylon. CHIEF: So was mine. GIANNA: Let's start an "I ♥ cylons" club. CHIEF: Well, since you ♥ cylons so much, you'll retroactively not mind kissing me...
	CAVIL: I've discovered the answer to life, holy frak. It's ~♥~Kara/Sam~♥~ and their epic love. Brb off to join pyramidofdreams to get my tingle on. HELO: Me too. CAVIL: That's fine, as long as you recognize that I'm their Number One fan.
	CAVIL: I get my tingle on by sticking things into Sam Winchester. I'm a Sam!girl at heart, see.
	CAVIL: Have you joined pyramidofdreams yet, sister? SIX: Yes, we read your fic, it was amazing. That's why we decided to stop shooting in the middle of our attack. :D
	CAVIL: *kissyface*? CHIEF: Frak you. CAVIL: :(
	PYRAMIDOFDREAMS!CAVIL: We might die of our injuries before we get to the vacuum. VOICE OF REASON: Uhm, actually, you'd freeze to death even before you moved. PYRAMIDOFDREAMS!CAVIL: Good point. Perhaps I've been blinded by ~♥~Kara/Sam~♥~ love. BOY-STABBING!CAVIL: Will you stop with the hearts already? IHU. PYRAMIDOFDREAMS!CAVIL: Wanna hold hands? BOY-STABBING!CAVIL: ...I knew I shouldn't have said that about a One falling for ~true love~. D:

The end.

Comments

[noybusiness.livejournal.com]

I've given thought to the somnophilic possibilities already. Ew.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hey, anything with naked!Trucco can't be all that bad, right?

[jeebs83.livejournal.com]

Hahaha they shot the BoobieBar! scene next to my apartment. lol
Hurray for Lee's 33 seconds!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Is it really a BoobieBar? Omg that's actually quite awesome. *_*

At least he got more screentime than poor Laura.

[tkf2009.livejournal.com]

You are very brave for even taking the time to screen capture this! I applaud your bravery!

33 seconds of Lee? I don't think I can buy this movie for anything less than 120 seconds of Lee. Or watch it.

But at least I know who Six met. :P

Too much Cavil. Why do I think this is EJO's fault?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahha thank you!

I'm a big fan of cylons, so I liked it a lot, but the lack of Lee did make me sad.

Omg BECAUSE IT IS, he has such a hard-on for that man.

[katrinaswift.livejournal.com]

I CAN'T BELIEVE KARA/SAM MADE ONE BELIEVE IN TWU WUV AND NOT SIX/BALTAR.


I HATE THE ONES! *FLOUNCES*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I GUESS DREAMY HAIR JUST DOESN'T DO IT FOR HIM, SORRY BB. :(

[seussian.livejournal.com]

Okay I don't watch BSG, so I'm only loling at the content, not the context you understand. Still, funny.

I mostly dropped in because of the sheer volume of comments your journal gets I have yet to find an appropriate time to beg you to write some White Collar Neal/Peter fic and/or some Glee Kurt/Puck fic, assuming you watch that show. I saw your WC post, but was too intimidated by the 100+ comments to plead there. I figured I could stand out amongst the 15 comments already here if I acted fast.

So anyway, blessed darling wonderful Tracy... Neal/Peter fic? You know you want to.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahha I read every comment, you know! And I even try to reply to all of them, don't be intimidated.

I do not watch Glee, and so far I'm not craving Neal/Peter fic yet. >.> Sure, I ship them, but not romantically, since Elizabeth is so awesome and Neal is so in love with his wife. On the other hand, if the show doesn't give us backstory on how Peter first met/caught Neal and how they became BFFs soon, I may be forced to write it for them. So WE SHALL SEE?

[grey-sw.livejournal.com]

ha ha, great recap!

CAVIL: Well, it's a good thing none of the thousands of genocide survivors who saw my fliers decided they needed some spiritual guidance today.

I noticed that, too. And where the frak did he get a bunch of impromptu fliers, anyway? Looks like the We're Immune To Genocide And Conveniently Right Next To Your Mom's Favorite Strip Joint Print Shop had a going-out-of-business-because-the-planet-blew-up special...

CAVIL: Please, the day a One falls for that ~true love~ bullshit is the day we hold hands and saunter vaguely into an airlock together.
CAVIL: Have you joined [info]pyramidofdreams yet, sister?
SIX: Yes, we read your fic, it was amazing. That's why we decided to stop shooting in the middle of our attack. :D

ah ha ha ha yay! Sam/Kara is mighty indeed...

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! :D

LOL THIS. Seriously, show, what? It's kind of like how they never ever ever run out of alcohol, either.

*g* Glad you liked!

[lorrainemarker.livejournal.com]

I love this. Also, in gratuitous shots sexual positioning shots - they managed to get Tory to stick her ass up as she's crawling out of the wreckage of her car. Just saying, nice shot EJO.

I considered the prance through the co-ed head as one of the highlights of the movie. Along with nearly naked PunkRock!6's summation of the disaster of The Plan. Meanwhile, back at the Hub, "What do you mean there isn't a back-up plan?"

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks! :D Yeah, I noticed that about Tory too. Oh, EJO, you perv.

My favorite thing about the head scene was that it was completely and utterly gratuitous. XD

[seraphim-grace.livejournal.com]

you know Lee moved to making Law and Order London which mostly involves him slumming around in a dirty mac like castiel's nastier brother.... seriously!

http://images.smh.com.au/ftsmh/ffximage/2009/08/11/law_order_uk_narrowweb__300x392,0.jpg

now go forth with that bunny, I command you
because there's no way you're not going to jump all over it
http://www.smh.com.au/news/entertainment/tv--radio/tv-reviews/wednesday-tv-law-amp-order-uk/2009/08/11/1249756297804.html the whole article

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to watch L&O:UK forever just to see him, but haven't actually gotten around to it yet. /o\

Hahhaha Castiel's nastier brother, though, omg I could get on board with that. Oh godd I still have to write that BSG/SPN crossover, though, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN, sorry.

[sczep84.livejournal.com]

Nothing says dedication like showing the world your wife's boobies and making her do a sex scene, right?

Ahahahahah, well put! Hilarious.

And btw, at least Lee got 33 seconds. Laura got none (if u don't count seeing her feet as screen time, lol)

But still, I LOVED The Plan <3

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed! :D

Yeah, I'm not sure what that was about, especially considering EJO directed the damn thing! You'd think he'd give Laura more love.

[sunshine-queen.livejournal.com]

Ha, this was hilarious. I didn't notice that Sassy!Six was the only one to survive, but I think it's directly related to how little she wore. Well done, Six!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :D I support this theory. Look at Gianna, she survived too on account of getting so naked.

[firstlady1408.livejournal.com]

GAH I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE ONE OF THESE FROM YOU AGAIN....no time to read now I will tomorrow TY &hearts

[tracy.livejournal.com]

HIII omg I hope you don't think I've lost my touch. :"> ♥

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

I might've lol'd a lot at the bebe!Sam actor... I love having those moments of "Bzuh? Wrong show!" :P

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Too bad he was only in one episode way back in season one. I didn't even recognize him until someone (who doesn't even watch SPN) pointed it out to me. -.-

[tracy.livejournal.com]

HAHHA I THOUGHT OF YOU WHENEVER I WROTE A GAETA BIT. XD Omg he was so young and cuuuute.

[lily-winterwood.livejournal.com]

HYBRID: The oceans of Aquaria are burning.
FANS: Orly? I wonder why this is the scenario that has no visual to go with it.
I was wondering about that too! :P

And the whole LotR thing, LOL!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I suppose if they really wanted they could've written it off as an oil spill fire, but still. Oh, BSG. :P

Glad you got a kick out of this, hee!

[nicole-anell.livejournal.com]

I was going to quote my favorite parts of this, but then it was THE ENTIRE THING.

Okay, wait, I can single out one thing:

I don't understand why, but listening to this mixed tape of love and holding it against my heart makes me feel strangely compelled to paint vagina-shaped things on the wall.

*dies laughing* I love you so much for this post. MOSTLY NAKED SIX. PYRAMIDOFDREAMS!CAVIL. INCEST. GAETA'S FIRM WORKING LEGS. ♥♥♥

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*GRINS SO HARD* I am very relieved you don't think I've lost my touch, thank you! ♥

ALL OF THOSE THINGS MAKE ME MISS THIS SHOW SO MUCH. WHY IS IT OVER? D:

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Omg seriously, don't spoil yourself for who the final five cylons are! You will be sad if you do.

But eeeeee, I AM EXCITED FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE WATCHING THIS SHOW. \O/

[aurora]

THIS WAS BEYOND HILARIOUS!! AND TRUE.


GAETA: Look how filled with youthful optimism and conviction and functional limbs I am. :(
:(( :(( :((

[tracy.livejournal.com]

HEEE, GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT, THANK YOU!

Gaeta makes me ache. :(

[mushishi7.livejournal.com]

Puhahaha... I was wondering why the little boy looked so familiar - it's Sam! Yeah, God has no plan for Lee... and no Roslin! XD

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I actually didn't notice he played little Sam till someone else (who doesn't even watch SPN) pointed it out to me, oops. Poor Lee and Laura, though, so neglected. :(

[star-watcher81.livejournal.com]

Hmm, still haven't watched the Plan yet, sos this is just a drive-by *drooool*. Cylons are so pretty (except you, Cavil).

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahhaha Cavil was hilarious, though. XD

[ghanimasun]

This made me laugh really hard. Thank you so much for doing one for The Plan!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Yay, glad to hear it, thank you! :D

[bsgmom.livejournal.com]

I *heart* Tracy...

I don't *heart* EJO anymore... I'm pouting.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I ♥ you too.

Aww, I enjoyed it, even though nothing happened and Lee was only in it for 33 seconds.

[elvisglasses5.livejournal.com]

So, after reading this lolzy post, I still can't tell whether I need to rent/Netflix The Plan ASAP or not?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahha well, I enjoyed it, even though it was more "collection of deleted scenes" than movie. Still, new BSG!

[ginevra-alessa.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful!! Have been cackling wildly. Esp. love this -

CAVIL: Well, it's a good thing none of the thousands of genocide survivors who saw my fliers decided they needed some spiritual guidance today.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*g* Thanks much! :D

Hahahha oh Cavil, I didn't know whether to laugh or facepalm at him for most of the movie.

[http://users.livejournal.com/radon_/]

omg this is so genius. :D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Heee, thank you! :D

[ivanolix.livejournal.com]

*giggles* This is way too awesome! I love the lolzy incesty cylon things that really, you didn't even have to add because the show had them first, but here they're so much more funny!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed this, thanks! :D And seriously, people think shows like SPN are incesty, they should watch BSG...