THAT SHOW.

[tracy_loo_who]

CASTIEL CASTIEL CASTIEL, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT DEAN. NOT JUST. BUT. EVERYTHING. DID YOU GUYS FUCKING SEE THAT? SERIOUSLY, DID YOU? I AM HYPERVENTILATING AND FREAKING OUT AND SCREAMING AND LAUGHING AND I WANT TO CRY AND IF I DIDN'T KNOW MISHA WAS GOING TO BE A REGULAR NEXT SEASON I WOULD BE FUCKING KILLING MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

OKAY, NOT QUITE, BUT. JESUS, THIS ANGEL, THIS ANGEL. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD THAT HAS EVER MORE EPIC THAN CASTIEL'S ABSOLUTE LOVE FOR DEAN AND HIS BLIND FAITH IN HIM. I MEAN, DID YOU GUYS SEE--

JESUS, OKAY, WAIT. BEGINNING. Sam breaks my heart, he really does, and I love love LOVE him in this scene, but all I can think about is Castiel. And Misha. And Misha's NAME. \o/


So. So I have to skip over most of Sam and Dean and Bobby (I'M SO HAPPY BOBBY DIDN'T DIE, YAY!) except I gotta say this -- DEAN WAS FINALLY READY TO GIVE UP ON SAM. Surprisingly, this actually makes me HAPPY, because Dean's right, he HAS spent his whole life chasing after Sam and getting shit all in return, and even though the whole point of this was that family >> everything, the Dean!girl part of me was viciously satisfied that Dean finally decided he deserved more than an eternity of begging Sam to love him and think he's worth being with (lol not like that) with every fiber of his being. Of course, I'm also happy he changed his mind, because I love them as brothers, I love that unbreakable bond they have, so I don't even fucking know what's up with anything, except. CAS.

EVERYTHING ABOUT CASTIEL'S BODY LANGUAGE FROM THE VERY BEGINNING SUGGESTS HE'S FEELING SMALL AND TERRIFIED OF DEAN'S INEVITABLE ANGER AND SENSE OF BETRAYAL WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT THE PLAN. EVERYTHING SAYS "YOU'RE GOING TO HATE ME BUT IT'S REALLY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD I JUST WANT YOU TO BE AT PEACE BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HATE ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND IT." CASTIEL BREAKS MY HEART MORE THAN ANYONE IN THE WORLD.


LOL YOU GUYS BREAK FROM ANGST FOR A TINY MOMENT TO NOTE THAT DEAN TOTALLY GIVES CAS A FULL-BODY ONCE-OVER. LOLSHIP, ILU.


THIS WHOLE SCENE WHERE. LOLOLOL ZACH. HITTING ON DEAN AND ALL THE TIME CASTIEL IS THERE IN THE BACKGROUND, CHIN JUTTED OUT STOICALLY BECAUSE YOU JUST KNOW OTHERWISE HE WOULD BE KNASHING HIS TEETH TRYING TO KEEP FROM TELLING ZACH OFF FOR NOT ONLY HITTING ON HIS DEAN BUT MESSING WITH HIM.


SUITE LIFE OF ZACH AND CAS. LOL LOOK AT CASTIEL'S EXPRESSION. HIS SLIGHT, SLIGHT "WTF" HEAD TURN, LIKE "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK MY LIFE IS SWEET WHEN I HAVE BEEN HURTING SO MUCH AND SO CONSTANTLY?"


Dean is gorgeous here, this moment of stinging guilt, and sure, Cas is fuzzy, but I bet you anything he's stony-faced and inwardly growling at Zachariah for that jab at Dean.


Is this an accusatory look or just some sort of acknowledgment of his Scene of Everlasting Staring with Cas? I can't quite decide.


CASTIEL LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING KICKED PUPPY. JUST BECAUSE DEAN LOOKED AT HIM. THE POWER DEAN HAS OVER THIS ANGEL HURTS ME ALMOST PHYSICALLY, AND THIS IS ONLY THE VERY VERY TIP OF IT.


ibroketuesday: HAND OF DEMON TORTURE
tracy_loo_who: srsly.
This whole thing with Sam, omg kind of hot? :">

ibroketuesday: AWW DEAN
tracy_loo_who: this is like couples making up.
ibroketuesday: LOL YES
tracy_loo_who: awkward but sweet.
Despite my vicious satisfaction over Dean finally thinking about himself for a change earlier, this scene made me unspeakably happy. It's a good feeling to know there's nothing, ever, not even that horrible ultimatum, that can break their love for good, you know? ♥


You know, it's the casualness with which Dean breaks this angel that hurts me the most. I get that he's angry at them, I get that he thinks they're dicks, and he has good reason to, sure, but he's not even really doing this out of anger, not really. It's just a moment of mean thoughtlessness, and contrast that with the way everything Castiel does is for Dean. He wanted to tell Dean everything before because he knew Dean would care, and then he didn't want to tell Dean afterward not because he got tortured and scared, but because he wanted Dean to be at peace, he even-- But I'm getting ahead of myself. :|


Castiel is a little visibly hurt. I am a lot hurt. Dean's moment of pretend-guilt doesn't help.


Dean asked to see him! On the one hand, I am all a-squee over this and waving my OTP flag, but on the other hand, it's never been more clear than it is now exactly how much Dean takes Castiel for granted. Castiel says "anything you wish" and Dean only nods slightly in accepting approval, as if that's exactly what he expected. Seriously, Dean? Seriously? :P And then he snarks in the face of Castiel's obvious difficulty in denying his request and says "just make it snappy" and "I didn't ask you for you opinion." God, I don't know when I started being more of a Cas!girl than a Dean!girl, but I definitely did.


Much like it satisfied some part of me to see Dean realize he deserved more than what Sam gave him, it makes me glee here to see Castiel be annoyed with Dean, if only for a moment. This is that flash of "you should show me some respect"!Cas, before he became completely and utterly Dean's doormat. :P


JUST SOME SHALLOW, GORGEOUS EYE!FUCKERY HERE. \O/



STILL EYE!FUCKING. Castiel says "no" so softly, somehow, and yet defiantly, like he's trying his best to stand up to Dean and quietly proud of himself for at least trying but afraid his resolve will crumble all at the same time. I don't even know, I just. God, you guys, I really really really fucking love this angel.


Castiel wants to go on a long walk on the beach walk with him. ♥ His smug snarkiness here is absolutely endearing. :)) ♥ I also love how quickly this whole exchange goes, Jensen and Misha work so well together, and you can just hear Dean and Castiel anticipating exactly what the other's going to say before he says it. Oh, ship, Ilu. More Cas!smugness at trapping Dean inside the room, heeee, this is inappropriately adorable.


SMUG FAT FACE. OH, DEAN, ILU, DEAN. I JUST WANT TO DRAW HEARTS ALL AROUND YOU. For all that I resent him sometimes when he hurts Cas, I really do love love love that he's always such a combative pain in everyone's ass. Even Castiel's, sometimes, I think, when it comes down to it. He's his "own little Russel Crowe complete with surly attitude", after all. ♥


Oh, but his anger was never any match for his love and worry over his Sammy, and oh god, Dean. This face. This face, this face, Dean, you make me want to cry.


So.. this is what Castiel's pained expression from last week's episode when he said "if it gives you comfort to see it that way" was about, eh? He knew Dean wasn't meant to kill Lilith at all. And I also think he was lying when he said that drinking that much demon blood would change Sam forever, maybe, the end was too short for me to be able to tell if Sam really had changed irreversibly, but I like to think not? So Castiel manipulated Dean pretty hardcore, but. But all he ever wanted, throughout all of this, was for Dean to be peaceful at the end, right? He truly thought that was best for Dean, that's what heaven did to him.

But first -- OUTSIDE YOUR COVERAGE ZONE. OH HAI, STRAIGHT-FACED CAS! ILU.


LOL ALSO, TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THIS IMAGE OF CASTIEL NEXT TO A HARP, LOLOLOL, CAS. HARP. CAS! HARP! I LOVE THIS SHOW, I REALLY FUCKING DO.


YOU KNOW WHAT I ALSO LOVE? THE WAY DEAN GETS ALL UP IN HIS PERSONAL SPACE. He's so unrelenting here, and yet, and yet, this is Dean trying his best to get through to Cas, this is Dean, in his own way, caring.


JESUS JESUS JESUS I JUST NEED TO HUG HIM SO BADLY IT IS LITERALLY MAKING ME SLIGHTLY NAUSEOUS.



"Why are you here, Cas?" This is. God, this is such an honest moment, Dean for once stripped of all his jokes and defecting and cheapening of all things. It's not angel and human here, it's just Dean and Castiel. This entire scene is absolutely raw.


"WE'VE BEEN THROUGH MUCH TOGETHER, YOU AND I. AND I JUST WANTED.. TO SAY I'M SORRY IT ENDED LIKE THIS." OH, CAS, SO SOFTLY, SO QUIETLY, HOW DO YOU EXIST, HOW DOES THIS SHIP EXIST, I DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE, THIS IS MY SHIP, AND MY HEART, AND THEY BREAK IT AND MEND IT ALL AT ONCE AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT ANY OF IT. I just. I love this ship so helplessly. D:


"Sorry," Dean repeats, and Castiel does this tiny tiny little head tilt, like he's begging Dean to understand but then THIS PUNCH. Man, I saw it coming and I didn't, you know? I actually kind of love it. Dean is so hurt and so emotional and Castiel goes completely blank because he has to, because otherwise he might break.



And afterward he isn't sure what to think, hahahha, just cranks his neck a little and adjusts it and DEAN, LOL DEAN'S POOR HAND. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR PUNCHING A MOTHERFUCKING ANGEL, DEAN. GOD, I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO FUCKING MUCH.


LOLGOLDFISH BUT REALLY, CAS STARTING TO GET WORKED UP! OMG.


DEAN'S TURN TO BEG CASTIEL TO UNDERSTAND. I LOVE DEAN FOR TRYING. I LOVE DEAN FOR HAVING ENOUGH FAITH IN CASTIEL TO TRY.


"YOU POOR STUPID SON OF A BITCH." LOL SORRY THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT IT KIND OF IS, EXCEPT IT'S NOT, AWW, AS MUCH AS CASTIEL FRUSTRATES DEAN, DEAN PITIES HIM. WHICH IMPLIES SOME SORT OF UNDERSTANDING? SOME SORT OF CARING? HE GROUPS HIMSELF AND CAS TOGETHER, THINKS OF THEM BOTH AS THE VICTIMS. TOGETHER. AND CASTIEL HERE, OH GOD, CAS, THIS IS WHAT BLIND FAITH AND EVEN BLINDER LOVE LOOKS LIKE.


Dean's speech here about what's real and what matters, hahahha darksilvercat, I sort of wrote that, too! :)) \o/ But Dean, Dean, this is where he proves he cares about Castiel, he cares enough to try to teach him this. I love that.


"What is so worth saving?"
ibroketuesday: DUDE, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO OUR ANGEL WHEN WE WEREN'T LOOKING?
ibroketuesday: HOW DID HE GO FROM "HUMANS ARE WORKS OF ART" TO "ALL I SEE DOWN HERE IS DARKNESS"?
ibroketuesday: IT'S BECAUSE OF DEAN, ISN'T IT?
tracy_loo_who: YESS.
tracy_loo_who: DEAN IS IN SO MUCH PAIN
ibroketuesday: BECAUSE HE'S BEEN WATCHING DEAN GETTING PROGRESSIVELY MORE AND MORE MISERABLE
tracy_loo_who: AND IT HURTS CASTIEL JUST AS MUCH
ibroketuesday: BACK IN 4X07, DEAN WAS STILL *OKAY*
ibroketuesday: AND NOW DEAN IS SO BROKEN
ibroketuesday: GODDDD
tracy_loo_who: CASTIEL.
ibroketuesday: AND CASTIEL WAS BREAKING RIGHT ALONG WITH HIM, JUST WATCHING



DEAN WANTS CASTIEL TO UNDERSTAND SO BADLY. THIS. THIS IS MY SHIP. THIS SHIP IS FUCKING EPIC. I JUST. GOD, YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS, THIS SHIP OWNS MY SOUL.


AND THIS IS HOW BADLY CASTIEL NEEDS DEAN TO BE AT PEACE. HE NEEDS IT LIKE HE'S NEVER NEEDED ANYTHING BEFORE. THIS. THIS IS CASTIEL'S REASON FOR EVERYTHING, GODDAMN, LOVE LIKE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN, YOU GUYS, IT DOESN'T, IT DOESN'T, EXCEPT IT DOES, WITH CASTIEL.


Castiel's just realized how emotional and worked up he got. Oh, Cas, Dean's the only one who could ever get under his skin like that. Either that, or he already knows this isn't what Dean wants?


*STABS CW LOGO* DEAN TRYING SO HARD TO MEET CASTIEL'S EYES. CASTIEL BEING SO RELUCTANT TO. (BUT IT'S SO INEVITABLE.) DEAN MAKING SURE HE CATCHES CASTIEL'S GAZE. DEAN HOLDING CASTIEL'S GAZE BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING IN HEAVEN OR HELL THAT CAN MAKE CASTIEL LOOK AWAY ONCE HE'S CAUGHT. I can't even express how much I love them anymore. At all. I'm done.




Except I'm not. Because Dean knows the exact shade of white Castiel's ass is this right here, this is Castiel learning everything that Dean wants him to learn. This is Dean obliterating whatever lessons Castiel learned in Heaven. This is Castiel growing and changing, right on our fucking screens. He's so restless, opens his mouth and wants to say something but has nothing to say so he closes it again, he knows Dean is turning his entire world upside down again and he's absolutely helpless to do a damn thing about it.



He even tries to run away, but Dean, oh Dean, he won't let him, you guys, you guys, this is faith, Castiel knows right from wrong and more importantly, Dean knows it. And Dean's flavor of faith is so desperate, jesus, his need for Castiel to drop his good little soldier pretense is a physical, tangible thing and there has never been anything more epic than this ship right here and this moment. This moment is the defining moment of Dean/Castiel, or at least half of it, the half where Dean is everything Castiel has ever needed him to be, even if it breaks him. Because it breaks him!





Just. Just. Look at the way they look at each other, it says a thousand times more than anything I could ever say.



Dean figured out what Cas wanted to tell him, and Cas can't deny it, and. And. Look.


All he needs to say is please and Castiel doesn't care about heaven and orders anymore, never mind that those are all he's known for thousands and thousands and thousands of years.



CASTIEL IS SO SCARED. HE'S PRACTICALLY VIBRATING WITH IT HERE. HE KNOWS HE'S GOING TO BREAK, HE KNOWS DEAN'S GOING TO BREAK HIM, AND HE'S TERRIFIED. HE'S TERRIFIED, OH GOD, CAS, BUT IS HE TERRIFIED BECAUSE THEY TORTURED HIM IN HEAVEN OR IS HE TERRIFIED BECAUSE DEAN WILL BE HUNTED?


Okay. Remember when I said that previous moment was the defining moment of this pairing? Well, actually, this one is, but really it's this entire scene. This, you guys, fjkldsa;lf fuck fuck fuck, this is Dean telling Castiel what's worth dying for, and this is Castiel believing him. Blindly. Utterly. I keep talking about faith, okay, but seriously, there is not a single person who can look at Castiel here and doubt his absolute faith and trust in Dean. He may shake his head, and Dean may misinterpret that as denial, and Castiel might even want it to be denial, but it's not. It's not. It's Dean telling him "die for this" and Castiel thinking "okay."


Even though he's still terrified.


Dean giving up on him breaks me. As much as it breaks Castiel. "Dean," he pleads, and he actually looks like he's going to cry, there's this little thing he does, blinking too rapidly and lips twitching and throat working to hold in his rush of overwhelming emotion, like he might throw up from it otherwise, but then Dean repeats "we're done" with so much finality that Castiel closes his mouth against everything, everything, pulls all of his hurt and despair firmly inside and tries to hold still even though he's an absolute fucking mess and this is the single most vulnerable moment we have ever, ever seen, even moreso than when Dean walked away from him in 4x18.


Oh, but Dean, we're done.
ibroketuesday: AND DEAN WENT TO HIM BECAUSE HE KNEW HE WAS HIS ONLY HOPE
ibroketuesday: AND HE PUSHED HIM AND TRIED TO CONVINCE HIM AND HE SAID "WE'RE DONE" LIKE HE THOUGHT THERE HAD BEEN SOMETHING THERE
There was. And there is. Everything is there, and Dean recognizes it, finally. Maybe he has all along, if his hurt expression here is any indication.


Uhm. I'm.. all out. I've got nothing. Luckily this cap says everything it needs to all on its own.


LET'S JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO LAUGH AT THIS SHOT BECAUSE GOD KNOWS WE NEED IT. OR AT LEAST I DO, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST EVERYTHING HAS BEEN SO INTENSELY EMOTIONAL.


I THINK EVERYONE IN THIS FANDOM JUST FUCKING EXPLODED, AM I FUCKING RIGHT OR AM I FUCKING RIGHT? CASTIEL GRABBING DEAN AND SHOVING HIM UP AGAINST THAT WALL. JESUSKFJDLKS;JFLKDFJLKSDJFKLS LSDKJFKLSJFS FSKLAFJDSKLFJDKS SJDFKLSJKDLFLKJFLJFKLD




SERIOUSLY, FUCK ME, LOOK AT THIS CAP SOME MORE:


AND THIS. JFKLDSJFKLDSFJ LSFKJDKLSFJD SLFJDALFKJDSLAFJDSKLA;FJSLKJSKD IS THIS NOT THE MOST INTENSE THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING LIFE?




DEAN NODS. CASTIEL'S GOT HIM SHOVED UP AGAINST THE WALL AND HIS KNIFE IS OUT AND POINTED AT HIM BUT DEAN NODS. HE UNDERSTANDS. HE TRUSTS CASTIEL.


AND CASTIEL IS GRATIFIED THAT DEAN TRUSTS HIM. AND ALSO, "YOU'RE WORTH EVERY BIT OF WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO FOR YOU." I. THIS SHIP. FJKLDS;LKFJSKDF THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHIP, YOU GUYS, I CANNOT STAND THIS AT ALL.


FJKDLSA;FLKSD MISHA HAS THE SEXIEST FOREARM IN THE ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD. AND DEAN HATES SEEING HIM CUT HIMSELF.


BUT CASTIEL IS SO MATTER-OF-FACT ABOUT IT. THAT MAKES IT EVEN HOTTER, FOR SOME REASON? NNNNGH.


HAND!PORN WITH BLOOD. !!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. AND THEN ZACHARIAH, LOLOL BUT CASTIEL JUST IGNORES HIM AHAHAHAHA I LOVE LOVE LOVE FUCK THIS, FUCK ME.



LOL IT LOOKS LIKE A CYCLOPS SMILEY FACE LFDJSLKAFJSD SORRYYYYY.


FUCKING GORGEOUS FUCKING ANGEL. TELLING DEAN EVERYTHING, FINALLY.



THEIR HANDS, THEIR HANDS, THEIR HANDS, THIS EXCHANGE OF THE KNIFE IS SO GENTLE, SOMEHOW, AND IN SUCH STARK CONTRAST TO THE URGENCY OF THE REST OF THE SITUATION.


LOLCHUCK. LOL MOIST. LOLCHUCK. ILU, CHUCK. BUT DEAN AND CASTIEL! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. *FLAIL* CASTIEL AND DEAN. STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. HAHHA MISHA REALLY IS ABOUT THE SAME HEIGHT AS JENSEN AFTER ALL. OMG THEY STAND NEXT TO EACH OTHER LIKE THEY WERE MADE FOR IT. THIS IS DEAN AND CASTIEL SAYING "WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE, MOTHERFUCKERS, WHAT OF IT?" ♥


MAKING IT UP AS WE GO. OH, CAS, HOW FAR YOU'VE COME. DEAN RECOGNIZES THAT! HE DOES, HE DOES.


"IT'S THE ARCHANGELS. I'LL HOLD THEM OFF, I'LL HOLD THEM ALL OFF." THIS MAKES ME WANT TO CRY MORE THAN ANYTHING.
ibroketuesday: OMG CAAAAAAAS
tracy_loo_who: HOLDING OFF ARCHANGELS
tracy_loo_who: HE CAN'T!
ibroketuesday: JESUS CAS
ibroketuesday: HE CAN'T HOLD THEM OFF
tracy_loo_who: HE CAN'T!
tracy_loo_who: OH GOD CAS
ibroketuesday: SHIT TRACY WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO CAS
tracy_loo_who: IF I DIDN'T KNOW MISHA WAS GONNA BE BACK NEXT SEASON
tracy_loo_who: I WOULD BE BAWLING RIGHT NOW
ibroketuesday: CASTIEL THOUGHT THAT WAS HIS LAST STAND
ibroketuesday: YES
ibroketuesday: I WOULD THINK CASTIEL WAS DEAD
tracy_loo_who: LAST FUCKING STAND.
ibroketuesday: CASTIEL BASICALLY FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF FOR DEAN
ibroketuesday: OH MY GOD
tracy_loo_who: YES
tracy_loo_who: BECAUSE DEAN TOLD HIM
tracy_loo_who: IF ANYTHING WAS WORTH DYING FOR
ibroketuesday: CHRIST
tracy_loo_who: DEAN FUCKING TOLD HIM THAT
tracy_loo_who: FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, CASTIEL'S LAST STAND.
ibroketuesday: HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE
ibroketuesday: HE WAS ONLY STILL THERE TO DRAW THE ARCHANGELS AWAY FROM DEAN
tracy_loo_who: YES
tracy_loo_who: OH MY GOD ARCHANGELS.
tracy_loo_who: POOR CAS IS JUST A LITTLE SOLDIER.
ibroketuesday: ARCHANGELS
ibroketuesday: CAS COULDN'T EVEN FIGHT OFF WHOEVER CAME TO GET HIM IN 4X20
tracy_loo_who: TRYING TO FEND OFF ARCHANGELS.
ibroketuesday: HE COULDN'T FIGHT OFF URIEL OR ALASTAIR
tracy_loo_who: SERIOUSLY.
tracy_loo_who: WORST FIGHTER EVER.
ibroketuesday: SRSLY
tracy_loo_who: GOING UP AGAINST HEAVEN'S MOST TERRIFYING WEAPON
ibroketuesday: D:
tracy_loo_who: ARCHANGELS ARE ABSOLUTE.
ibroketuesday: THEY ARE ~FIERCE~
tracy_loo_who: OH GOD AND POOR CAS IS SO SMALL AND DESPERATE AND CUTE.
ibroketuesday: IT'S LIKE A PUPPY TRYING TO FEND OFF A PACK OF WOLVES
tracy_loo_who: YES. D:




ibroketuesday: LOL CHUCK
tracy_loo_who: CHUCK AND CAS
ibroketuesday: HELD HIS SHOULDER
ibroketuesday: HE KNEW HE COULDN'T DO IT
ibroketuesday: CHUCK KNEW


commodoresexual, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TOLD ME I SHOULDN'T BE TOO WORRIED ABOUT CAS, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, SERIOUSLY. D:

Something happened with Dean and Sam and Ruby after this, too. I'm kind of sad about this, Ruby was awesome. D: I'm glad she turned out to have her own agenda, though! \o/ And the boys -- it looks like they'll be okay, yeah? ♥




BUT. CASTIEL. THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO SAY ABOUT CASTIEL, BUT I THINK. I MEAN, THIS POST IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST RIDICULOUS POST I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE, I'M SORRY, IF ANYONE IN THE WORLD GOT THROUGH EVEN HALF OF THAT I'LL BE REALLY SUPREMELY IMPRESSED.

IN CONCLUSION: I LOVE THIS SHOW, I LOVE CASTIEL, I LOVE DEAN, I LOVE SAM, AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVE MY MOTHERFUCKING SHIP.

It's occurred to me, belatedly, that this was the episode Misha missed the Eyecon breakfast to film. Well, it was damned worth it.

Comments

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

IF I DIDN'T KNOW MISHA WAS GOING TO BE A REGULAR NEXT SEASON I WOULD BE FUCKING KILLING MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

MY FEELINGS EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love your posts :):):)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

THE VERY FIRST THING I DID WHEN I GOT UP TODAY WAS REWATCH CASTIEL'S LAST SCENE. STILL BREAKING. Oh god.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

(SERIOUSLY, THAT'S THE CLOSEST HIS FIST EVER GOT, LOL, I LOVE HOW EXTREMELY CAREFUL JENSEN IS TO NOT ACTUALLY PUNCH HIM. ♥)

THRUSTING. GOOD MOTHERFUCKING GOD, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

I MEAN.

JESUS, THIS SHIT IS UNREAL.

THE GREEN ROOM WHERE EVERY WISH DEAN WANTED CAME TRUE...YET CAS SEEMED TO BE THE ONLY THING TO KEEP APPEARING IN THERE. :P

*DRAWS HEARTS ALL AROUND THIS*

FKJDSLFJSKLDFJSDLKFJSDK ILU, OMG, I LOVE EVERYTHING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. GOD, I NEED A DEAN/CASTIEL ICON THAT SAYS "MY SHIP IS SO MOTHERFUCKING EPIC" FJKDSLFJKLSD

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

MY INTERNET IS BEING AN ASS RIGHT NOW AND TAKING FOREVER TO DOWNLOAD. I STILL HAVE ANOTHER HOUR. AND I HAD TO WORK EXTRA TODAY, SO I DIDN'T GET HOME TILL 4 HOURS AFTER SHOW FINISHED IN AMERICA.

I aim to be jobless by the time Season 5 begins, so this never happens again. I did have my friend email me so I could check at work, and she's more of a Sam/Dean girl, so she was all "Cas and Dean weren't really gay. There was no epic eyefucking like last week" which led me to being all :( for a few hours. Then I get home and everywhere I look, people are talking about their epic manlove. Even people who never shipped them. I think my friend needs to get her slash goggles checked. She's usually so good!

Also OMG. THIS POST. OMG. I AM DYING SO MUCH. Thank god we know Misha is safe for next year. Coz Cas sucks at fighting. Unless he's awesome at Angel fighting. Like, bright shiny lights instead of fistacuffs. And is it wrong that I kinda ship Cas/Chuck a little, after that one tiny moment?

AND WE GOT ARM CUTTING. THAT IS TOO HOT. AND A PUNCH. AND A BREAK UP. AND A GETTING BACK TOGETHER. THESE TWO CANNOT BE REAL, THEIR LOVE IS TOO AMAZING.

*looks at download and cries* WHY AREN'T YOU DONEEEEE?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahahha, it can't be THAT difficult to become jobless, right? ;) I would aim to be school-less, but my parents might frown upon me dropping out of grad school because of a TV show. huh.

LOL I think your friend was just messing with you on purpose! Pffft, Sam/Dean girls. :P

I think probably since Lucifer is rising and all and Dean apparently has his special destiny, the archangels will leave off harassing Cas to go save Dean? This is my theory, anyway.

CAS AND CHUCK ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER. CAS COULD BE HIS PUPPY-EYED FANBOY. <3

LOL SERIOUSLY, THIS SHOW IS TURNING INTO THE EPIC DEAN AND CASTIEL LOVE STORY BY THE EPISODE AND I LOVE IT.

[haces222.livejournal.com]

THIS IS GOING STRAIGHT IN MY MEMORIES I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THIS EPISODE YET (IN FACT WE IN UK ABOUT 5 OR 6 EPISODES BEHIND AND CAN'T DOWNLOAD THE FUCKER)

SO GLAD RUBY BOUGHT IT AND BOBBY DIDN'T

AWESOME REVIEW!!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

FKLSDJKJSFDL I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY SPOIL THEMSELVES THIS MUCH BY CLICKING ON MY EPISODE REACTION POSTS BEFORE THEY ACTUALLY SEE IT? I am flattered, though! :">

And WHY can't you download it, everyone can download it!

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

OMG THIS SHOW. JUST, THIS SHOW. OMG.

I REALLY HAVE NOTHING COHERENT LEFT TO WRITE OUT ATM BUT I DO HAVE TO MENTION THE BEAUTY AND GLORIOUSNESS OF CASTIEL. THERE IS SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKING ANGEL I SWEAR TO THE CYLON GOD, MY HEART BREAKS SO HARD FOR HIM. FOR HIM AND FOR DEAN. JUST, THE PATHS AND DIRECTIONS THEY'VE TAKEN HIM, FROM BEING INTRODUCED AS AN ANGEL OF THE LORD TO HIS MORAL STRUGGLES AND CONFLICTIONS AND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH DEAN. JUST, LOVELOVELOVE.

SO MUCH DEAN/CASTIEL IN THIS EPISODE I WAS SQUEEING AND I THOUGHT MY TELEVISION SCREEN WAS GOING TO S'PLODE FROM THE EPICNESS. AND EYEFUCKAGE. AND CASTIEL SLAMMING DEAN AGAINST THE WALL - AND THEN THE BLOOD AND TALKING WITH DEAN LIKE THAT AND JUST...OMGHAITHARCASTIEL MAKE ME ALL TINGLY. *___*

I JUST...YEAH. YOUR EPIC PICSPAM REVIEW FOR THE EPISODE HAS DISTRACTED ME BECAUSE ALL I CAN LOOK AT IS THE PRETTINESS OF OUR MOTHERFUCKING ADORABLE ANGEL BEING ALL FIERCE AND HIM WITH DEAN AND JUST, OMGOMGOMG.

*BRB FLAILING*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

FUNNY HOW I COULD SPEND FOUR HOURS (YES, THAT'S HOW LONG THIS TOOK, IN BETWEEN GETTING DISTRACTED BY REWATCHING SCENES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER) TALKING ABOUT THIS SHOW LAST NIGHT BUT TODAY I CANNOT MANAGE ANYTHING COHERENT AT ALL.

EXCEPT, AHHHHHHH, AND I CERTAINLY DON'T SERVE YOU, LOOK HOW LONG THAT LASTED, FUCK, CASTIEL'S CHARACTER ARC IS THE MOST AMAZING ONE IN THE WORLD.

STILL CANNOT BELIEVE HOW INCREDIBLY FUCKING SHIPPY THIS EPISODE WAS. I MEAN, EVEN ASIDE FROM THE WALL-SLAMMING, WHICH WAS UN-FUCKING-PRECEDENTED AS ALL HELL, THE TALKING TALKING TALKING AND ALL THOSE MOMENTS OF PURE, RAW CONNECTION BETWEEN THESE TWO, DEFINING MOMENTS IN BOTH OF THEIR LIVES, ESPECIALLY CASTIEL'S NNGH OMGOMGOMG.

*FLAILSTOO*

[littlestclouds.livejournal.com]

Looking at that scene with Castiel and Dean and the wall: I got major S1 deja vu, when Dean, I think, pinned Sam to a wall when Sam made a comment about Mary. Haven't seen this episode yet, but people tell me I'll like it so, woo, bring it on. :D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahha I see you've seen it since then! I've got your reaction post opened in one of like 30 tabs which I swear I'll get around to after I finish all the work I'm supposed to do, fjdsklf guh. But oh man, this wall scene was even MORE epic than Dean and Sam's wall scene! Of course I might be biased, but there was MOUTH-COVERING.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL SERIOUSLY, HOW CAN ONE EPISODE BE SO FUCKING EPIC AND YET HAVE SO MANY LITTLE FUNNY MOMENTS, TOO? I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW, GOOD GOD.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN? I MEAN. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH. DESPITE THIS POST I HAVEN'T REALLY BEGUN TO REALLY PROCESS ANY OF IT YET.

[emptyheaven.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO WATCH THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!! Caaaaaassssssssss!!!!!
Fuck yes! Ruby had her own agenda? Awesome! (still love her though!)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

WHY HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED IT YET? WHYYYYY?

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL SORRY I FELL ASLEEP LIKE RIGHT AFTER I POSTED THIS, JUST PASSED THE FUCK OUT, BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG HELLO, HELLO, CAS, I THINK I MIGHT LOVE HIM EVEN MORE TODAY THAN I DID LAST NIGHT.

[feather_qwill]

Jesus. (No irony intended.)

When Dean asks to go to Sam and Cas looks away cause he knows that this is it, this is where Dean's gonna find out and hate him and you can tell he kinda wanted Zach there instead so he could take the blame -- and then later when he's telling Dean how super it'll be when everyone's dead and Heaven wins and he throws out "peace with Sam" as a last measure because if there's one thing he knows about Dean it's that the way to get to him is through his little brother and his Cas!eyes are all "please don't hate me, ilu so much, please don't hate me" but it doesn't work. :( poor Cas.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

and you can tell he kinda wanted Zach there instead so he could take the blame

Awww, yes, THIS. This is spot on. As much as Cas will take the blame for anything (he apologized to Sam in 4.16 about the devil's trap failing and again to Dean in 4.21 for not being able to tell him), you can tell he really hates it when Dean's disappointed in him. Oh, Cas.

I think the "peace with Sam" was to distract Dean from how terrible the plan really was, and he knew it, poor Cas indeed. :(

[ralucam.livejournal.com]

I loved this episode!
Castiel only betrayed Dean in order to get him rid of the pain being alive and not in heaven gave him. He just wanted his baby to be at peace and happy for ever. (he even includes Sam in there, just Cas, Dean and Sam in a little cottage in paradise)
And when Dean says "We're done", that's such a boyfriend thing to say, it's not a mentor, friend, saviour/saved, or what have you thing, it only ever gets said between lovers.
I squeed my way through the episode and I am still high with the epic love (and Samndean are back too) I don't even care about Lucifer, of course they needed some subject for the next series. We know Castiel will survive and Bobby is also alive!!!!!
So no worries, everything is right in the world.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

A little cottage in paradise! *draws hearts around this*

And when Dean says "We're done", that's such a boyfriend thing to say, it's not a mentor, friend, saviour/saved, or what have you thing, it only ever gets said between lovers.

*DRAWS EVEN MORE HEARTS AROUND THIS ONE*

I AGREE, before I saw the episode I was getting emails along the lines of "omg I am so scared for the boys" and sure, Lucifer is rising and all, but I also think everything is right in the world. In a heartbreaking sort of way.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOLOL @ THE THOUGHT OF DEAN SUCKING CASTIEL'S ARM. I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT, I MEAN, IT'S KIND OF DISTURBING AND WRONG AND YET HOT AT THE SAME TIME, I DUNNO, I DUNNO, BUT IT NEVER EVEN OCCURRED TO ME BECAUSE I HAD SEEN THE PROMO WHERE CAS DOES THE ANGEL-REPELLING THING SO I ALREADY KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

*DIES CONTINUOUSLY WITH YOU*

[moonofwinds.livejournal.com]

This episode proves that this pairing is canon or at least that Kripke is a closet fan. God damn this episode made my heart stop.

I couldn't agree more. If I didn't know Mischa was signed up for the next season as a regular I would be a mess.

Cas, Cas, Cas, that last scene with Chuck just makes me think of MIB 2, Will Smith: "Remove the arm."

And Dean all heart broken 'cause Cas refuses and Cas all heart broken 'cause he has to refuse and omg Zach is going do awful things to Angel-baby if he gets the chance.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Kripke's more than a closet fan, I'm pretty sure, closet fans do subtext. Kripke had Castiel shove Dean against a wall.

Zach is going do awful things to Angel-baby if he gets the chance.

I can't decide if I want this to happen because I love whump or if I don't because. well. Cas. D:

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Also, it's the SUITE Life of Zack and Cody. I can tell you don't have a younger sister.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL UGH WHATEVER I JUST FIXED IT I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY NOW.

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAH, YESSS, HOMG HOMG, YEAH. SO MUCH LOVE. SO MUCH EYESEX AND WALLSLAMMING. ♥ *clings* AAAAAAAH....

*is still vaguely incoherent*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*CLINGS BACK* A DAY AND A HALF LATER AND I STILL CAN'T REALLY TURN OFF CAPSLOCK.

[seussian.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you about Jimmy! I mean, he had enough faith in God to stick his arm in boiling water and sacrifice himself to an angel, but ultimately it was the love he had for his family that drew him away from God's service, and eventually back to Castiel. Jimmy is a good example of how much humans will suffer through for love, even the humans dedicated to serving God.

[naga-battousai.livejournal.com]

THIS SHOW MADE ME BREAK MY CAPSLOCK-BAN, I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY END IT THERE!!!
AND I KNOW THIS IS ABOUT SAM & DEAN, BUT DAMN IT I'M SO TOTALLY WATCHING FOR CASTIEL & DEAN NOW!

*cough*

The moment Castiel turn for Dean (and slamming him against the wall and gagging him woohbestillmyheart), isn't that the most beautiful scene you've ever seen? Homygod, Dean you freaking better appreciate it.

The wait for next season is going to kill me, I just know it.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

HAH, YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN IT WAS FUTILE TO RESIST THE CAPSLOCK WHERE THESE TWO ARE CONCERNED.

Homygod, Dean you freaking better appreciate it.

THIS. YES. NO MORE OF THIS TAKING CAS FOR GRANTED BULLSHIT, DEAN.

I barely made it through the last time we had a four-month Castiel drought, how am I going to do it again? D: D: D:

[latvela.livejournal.com]

I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING.

THE POWER DEAN HAS OVER THIS ANGEL HURTS ME ALMOST PHYSICALLY, AND THIS IS ONLY THE VERY VERY TIP OF IT.

God, yes. It's a wondrous thing they have. And I don't know how Cas got hold of my heart to this unprecedented degree, but he has.

Castiel says "anything you wish" and Dean only nods slightly in accepting approval, as if that's exactly what he expected.

To be honest my mind immediately went to hot 'n slashy places when he said this, but you're right. Poor Cas :(

I really do love love love that he's always such a combative pain in everyone's ass

God, me too. It means he cares. ILU, DEAN!!! And his phone call broke my heart. I DO LOVE SAM AND DEAN, I REALLY DO.

TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THIS IMAGE OF CASTIEL NEXT TO A HARP

LOL! I think this shot (http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/802/vlcsnap952563.png) is adorable too! And I love Dean punching Cas, it was a nice moment of levity!

[info]ibroketuesday: HOW DID HE GO FROM "HUMANS ARE WORKS OF ART" TO "ALL I SEE DOWN HERE IS DARKNESS"?

I think he's being consistent. He doesn't condemn humans but sees their pain and suffering, and he asks Dean wouldn't you rather be in Paradise? because he doesn't understand what it is to be human, but he loves humans and doesn't want to see them suffering. Awww!

And yes, yes, yes, how much did I love that moment when Cas looked away, and Dean ducked his head to seek out Cas's eyes?

Now, the wall-slamming moment. It was one of the hottest things I've ever seen, and Misha in that moment is just about the most beautiful man I've ever seen. SIGH.

Dean's nod!!! He trusts Cas!!! I love you, Dean!!! Oh, and when Zach gets sent away, again we get all that light projected onto Cas's face and his blue eyes, OMG those eyes!!!

And I saw the fingers touching too, when Cas gave Dean the knife! And seeing them standing side by side in Chuck's home made my heart swell to bursting. God, I love my ship too!!!

And oh my God, you guys are right about Cas's last stand against the archangels being the direct result of Dean telling him this was worth dying for. I feel like crying. Him saying, "I'LL HOLD HIM OFF, I'LL HOLD THEM ALL OFF" is one of the most heartbreaking things that happened. If he had only said the first part I would have been all YAY, CAS! But when he added the second part it killed me. He is so, so utterly sweet :(

Whew. This is embarrassingly long and exclamationy :)

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

The finger touching!!!!! I saw the caps before I saw the ep, and I died at their fingers brushing. OH MAN, I LOVE IT.

[seussian.livejournal.com]

I always used to say, "A fandom isn't official unless there's Rocky Horror fic and a ship isn't a ship without the possibility of wall!sex."

...And it was canon. I couldn't breathe for like, ten minutes because of that scene. And yes, if I didn't know Castiel was going to survive I'd be pinging off the walls right now.

Your picspam posts are epic!! I don't know how I'm going to survive without them until September.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL, I BET KRIPKE DID THIS ON PURPOSE. I mean, come on, it wasn't even necessary, not really, which just leaves plain gratuitous. \o/\o/

I don't know how I'm going to survive without EPISODES until September. Though I suspect it will have to have something to do with fandom.

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

THAT WAS AMAZING. I AWAIT THE AMAZING FIC. Cas telling Dean he could have anything he wants. Wall slamming. Blood play. EVERYTHING ELSE. I CANNOT ABSORB YET, OMG.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

SERIOUSLY, HAS THERE BEEN AMAZING FIC YET? I NEEEED IT.

[villainxatxhert.livejournal.com]

*FLAIL*

This post is made of MOTHERFUCKIN' WIN!!!!

This is exactly what I needed after that episode, and I completely agree with everything you wrote. I can't post my own review cause my internet iz dead. I'm writing this at school and my teacher is over my shoulder saying things about the Dean/Cas epicness that is this show. This is going straigh to my memories.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*FLAILS TOO* I'M HAPPY YOU LIKED THIS POST SO MUCH, BB. \O/

[ran-cl.livejournal.com]

I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY BUT YOU ARE THE BEST TRACY ! \o/\o/\o/\o/\o/


IF NOT KNOWING MISHA IS GONNA BE BACK NEXT SEASON I WILL BE WORRYING FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING FOUR MONTHS.

EPIC IS NOT ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE THIS...♥ ITS SO WORTH IT FOR ME TO ALMOST KILLED MYSELF TO AVOID SPOILERS TODAY ♥

AND DEAN KNOWS WHICH COLOUR WHITE ♥CAS' ASS♥ IS LOL AND I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WHEN I SAW MISHA'S NAME APPEARED @ THE SAM SCENE HAHA

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL I KNOW NO SUCH THING, STOP MAKING ME SO BLUSHY. :"> :"> :">!

UGH I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING THIS ENTIRE SUMMER EXCEPT WORRY ABOUT CAS IF I THOUGHT THERE WAS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE HE MIGHT BE DEAD. D:

YOU ARE A STRONGER PERSON THAN I AM IF YOU AVOIDED SPOILERS, BECAUSE I CERTAINLY COULDN'T STOP CLICKING ON EMAILS I GOT. D:

[acreativemess.livejournal.com]

I have waiting for this exact post all night! And yes, I read every word.

I would pick out my favorite things you said, but I don't think I should quote the whole post.

So I'll just say that Dean and Cas are so fucking epic. Their love will be the death of me!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

And yes, I read every word.

Oh man, thank you for reminding me that there are people out there who are almost as ridiculous as I am. ♥ God, I love this fandom.

[sablier-bloque.livejournal.com]

Yes, missing Eyecon was damn well worth it... even though we didn't see that at the time. LOL

This ep kicked ass, and Misha was INSANELY awesome. Love him so.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Instead of doing his panel, he was shoving Jensen up against a wall. *_*