(no subject)

[tracy_loo_who]

For something I was so reluctant and uncertain about posting, The Forty-First Year really has inspired a lot of absolutely amazing creativity from so many people, holy christ. kitsu84 just posted her fanmix for it, My Whole Existence is Flawed, complete with gorgeous cover art and matching icons from gembat, nilsi_pilsifan, and x5649, and I have been sitting here trying to describe it. It's -- well, I said I'd been reluctant to post the fic, right? I couldn't help but feel like there was something missing, and I kept telling strangeandcharm that the idea had seemed so much more epic in my head and that I hadn't gotten it quite right. She eventually convinced me it was good enough to post, thankfully, but the feeling that something was missing never really stopped niggling.

kitsu84's fanmix just made me realize what was missing by completing it. Dean's journey, his step-by-step redemption, that's what there wasn't enough of, but every single song in this mix tells his side of the story exactly like I'd envisioned it and makes it come to life in a way that no words I write ever could. So, this is pretty much my very long-winded way of saying, "kitsu84 is a fucking fanmix goddess." I implore you to go listen to it, even if you didn't read the fic, because the mix is breathtaking all on its own, but especially if you did read the fic and liked it at all.


Just some running commentary this week, too much to do to write this up properly:

- Can I just say that I loved the boys in the beginning of this episode? Sam brushing his teeth all sulky-like and Dean practically falling out of the car and SANDWICH IN THE BACKSEAT LOLOL and hitting his head and WHY IS JOHN'S PHONE STILL CHARGED? :P

- Dean is so prepared in the diner. So prepared and PRETTY. *_*

- DAD!SEX. LOL.

- Oh god, Dean, that kid talking about the Impala and I'd already seen the "he took you to a baseball game" clip, but with everything else, oh god, Dean, where the fuck is Cas to give him a hug? God knows they both need one. D:

- ROCK PAPER SCISSORS. EVERY TIME. LOLOLDEAN. WHY DIDN'T I THROW PAPER. ♥♥♥

- Dean realizing the woman was already dead, his defeated expression, oh Dean. D:

- And their fight, it hurts to watch Sam and Dean fighting, to see yet another wedge be driven between them. :(

- "I know what it's like to want revenge." Sammy, you scare me. D:

- Dean thinks about where he'd like to spend eternity all the damn time. WITH CASTIEL, Y/Y?

- Kinda makes me giggle that they keep calling him "the kid" when he's all waxing sentimental about them being his brothers. :))

- Uhm, but their argument over him and Dean's trying to shield him and Sam wants -- I don't even know what Sam wants, if he wants Adam to be just as miserable as he is or if he honestly is trying to protect him by teaching him those things or maybe a bit of both? But both of them being jealous -- oh, boys. :(

- HEY. HEY. NOTICE THAT WHEN DEAN IS FRANTIC ABOUT SAM'S SAFETY AND OUT OF OPTIONS HE LOOKS UP AT THE ANGEL AND GETS HIS INSPIRATION THERE. I mean, sure, he had to bash in the window later, but still, THE ANGEL SAVED HIM. ♥

- Sam bondage! Sam whump! MORE SAM WHUMP! Sam screaming! Much less girly than Dean's scream, yes.

- MAYBE WE CAN BRING HIM BACK. GET AHOLD OF CAS, CALL IN A FAVOR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING, SAM? Dean's faintly startled and unguarded look at the mention of Cas's name makes my heart do flips, though. ♥

- I don't know what to make of Dean's "you're more like him than I'll ever be." Like he's jealous of Sam and still doesn't think he's good enough for John but also terrified because John left him and the hunt was always more important to John than Dean was and now he thinks Sam is going to leave him too and care more about hunting and Dean will be left to chase after him like he chased after John and-- seriously, this is breaking my heart. :|

- Where is Castiel? Please give your boy a hug. :(

SPEAKING OF ANGELS:


(This will never get old, will it?)

ETA: I think I've figured out where Castiel went! He knows Dean goes for the gorgeous model types and is totally trying out. \o/



ALSO (♥ to downfall35 and spacemonkey_699!):

MISHA'S ARM. LOL MISHA'S ARM. ♥ TOTALLY FUCKING ON PURPOSE. And awww, he is their wordsmith and grammar technician. God, could he BE more smitten? When Jensen's talking about him being the senior partner, the way Misha LOOKS at him, grins at him, and then Jensen laughs at his grammar technician line and Misha does this excited little leg-clap, just because he's made Jensen laugh, and flkdsjflkds it's 5 in the fucking morning and I'm so high on these boys, jesus.

MORE ETA: Thanks to my bb ze_pink_lady!

DEAN. OMGDEAN. OMGMISHA, JUST LYING THERE, AND DEAN, ALL PANICKY, CAS? CAS! HEY, CAS! LET ME HOLD YOUR ARM, CAS. AND MISHA'S VOICE, OH, OHH, CASTIEL? FJKDLS;AJFKSLDFJSD WHY THE FUCK ISN'T THIS EPISODE OUT YET?

Comments

[katrinaswift.livejournal.com]

idk, i thought Sam was right this entire episode. I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE HUNTING THE SHIT LURKING UNDERNEATH MY BED THAN COWERING IN FEAR IN THE EXACT MIDDLE OF IT. WHICH IS NOT WHAT I AM CURRENTLY DOING. AT ALL.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I can't decide who's right, honestly, I think they both are. but. But it's his change that breaks my heart. :(

AT ALL, EH?

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

Lol, I just love the camera flashes going crazy in the gif. Reminds me of a vid I saw from the con where *points to icon* that happened, and it was like, one, two flashes, then Jared grabs Jen, and MILLION FRANTIC FLASHES OMG. Made me lol.


So, I'm downloading ep. It's gonna be another couple of hours. I am saddened by this fact. But your write up helped me out. I've been dreading and dreading and DREADING this episode for months, coz, you know, adding a sibling usually means DEATH TO SHOW or something, but I'm so glad people didn't think it was shit. And Sammy's been scaring me pretty much all season. I scared of darling Sammy. I think we need to go back and watch Season one and want to pinch his cheeks.

Also, lol as I'm writing this, all I can see it Misha raping Jared peeking out from the top of my screen. It's distracting and awesome.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

WOULD YOU HAVE SUCH A GORGEOUS ICON IF IT WEREN'T FOR THOSE MILLION FRANTIC FLASHES OMG? XD That IS cute, though, I hadn't seen that one before! Aww, I need to catch up on my J2 love.

Another couple of HOURS? Jesus, my download finished in seven minutes. Uhh, sorry, not to brag, I swear, but actually I think I was in the minority that wasn't dreading this episode at all. I was merely curious, because really, considering how perfectly the writers are handling Castiel and so many other things? I had a lot of faith. And I'm glad it was reaffirmed, I don't blame John for his one night stand.

THAT SHOULD BE YOUR DESKTOP.

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

BROTHERLY ANGST FILLED EP IS ANGSTY.

I felt so horrible for Dean. I mean, seriously, the boy needs a hug. Just looking at his reactions, the way he initially responded, and then being inside that house, seeing the pictures. Oh man. His face. Especially with realizing that their father had been keeping more secrets, again, and then the comparison between Sam and their dad. Spot on, it's scary. And I mean really scary. Because Sam definitely IS John Winchester, but a dangerous version if he continues down the road he's going. D:

I'm scared. For Dean, for Sam, hell CASTIEL I'm scared for after seeing the preview for the next ep (of course knowing he'll be okay but, srsly, omg).

MY HEART. IT BREAKS FOR THEM. DDD:

But that gif, it makes it all so much better. Nope, never gets old. ;)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

AND HERE I WAS HOPING THEY'D BE ALL "WHAT? NO, WE'RE THE BROTHERS. *CLINGS TO EACH OTHER*" BUT I GUESS NOT. D:

Gah, I keep thinking I should be used to the massive Dean angst this season, episode after episode, but it still guts me every time. Every single little expression. D:

Sam is going to end up even worse than John, at least John didn't have demon blood. Incidentally, I kept thinking, when Sam was dripping into that bowl, that maybe something would happen with the blood and he was afraid Dean would see, but oops.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PREVIEW? TELL MEEEEEE.

That gif is my favorite thing to stare at, ever. ♥

[antismiles.livejournal.com]

I loved everything about this episode. Which is surprising since I wasn't sure I would, what with the whole new brother thing. But it was fantastic. I should really trust the writers more. :)

AND OMG NEXT WEEK IS GOING TO BE FRAKKING EPIC. I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO SAY HOW EXCITED I AM. *TWIRLS*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I should really trust the writers more. :)

THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE FOR MONTHS. (Boy, I'm glad I don't have to eat those words!)

FJDKSAF;LKSDJ WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PREVIEW? I MUST KNOW. I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE ABOUT DEAN SEARCHING FOR CASTIEL AND FINDING HIS VESSEL INSTEAD AND LILITH AND ALL, BUT THAT'S IT?

[timbitsu.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched the episode, yet, so I'm willfully turning a blind eye on everything! Just please tell me whether or not the brother is real. D:

[tracy.livejournal.com]

He's really their brother! But it's not as bad as you're probably imagining, really. Who can blame John for having a few one night stands, really?

[lena3.livejournal.com]

HEY. HEY. NOTICE THAT WHEN DEAN IS FRANTIC ABOUT SAM'S SAFETY AND OUT OF OPTIONS HE LOOKS UP AT THE ANGEL AND GETS HIS INSPIRATION THERE. I mean, sure, he had to bash in the window later, but still, THE ANGEL SAVED HIM.

Wait. What? Where??

[tracy.livejournal.com]

When Dean was trapped and buried himself in because he shot at someone! He smashed the window to get out, remember, and the window had an angel on it.

[kitsu84.livejournal.com]

This entry has got me grinning like a freakin' idiot, JSYK. ♥

[tracy.livejournal.com]

YOU. You make my heart happy. ♥

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Whereas before they would've been the other way around. :(

I SQUEALED SO HARD. *_* Hahha the "holy crap" confused me too, actually, I think maybe it was just that the bar was really heavy? or something? (haha, what a wuss. clearly he and Cas are meant to be.)

BRING IT ON, YES, JESUS.

[ashinan.livejournal.com]

*is flailing badly*

BB, please tell me where you download your episodes from, because I still have like a day to wait because apparently those that live in Canada don't get happy inducing Supernatural for a day. I am going insane. Very badly. I NEED TO SEE THIS EPISODE LIKE NOW.

Btw, saw the promo for next week and flailed. Because a Castiel centered episode, and where Dean looks up and can't help but sound scared and angry and just overall 'If they took Cas away I shall kill every last angel' and saying, "Where's Castiel?" He can't even call him Cas in that situation.

Anyways, going back to pray to the downloading gods, because my downloading rate is currently at 1.8kb/s. INSANITY IS NIGH.

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

Yooooohooo, miss Tracy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ4FwPu5aT0


It's incredibly short, I know. And I haven't watched it yet, coz my lappy speakers aren't working. But pretty boys! More of the interview to come within coming weeks. JUST WHERE IS YOUR HAND HIDING, MR MISHA?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahahahha, you and downfall35 linked me to this within like, two minutes of each other! :)) ILU, I was freaking out cause I hadn't seen it before, but their other interview was right after so I was all "HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THIS?"

Omg, the arm thing, omgomgomg, and WORDSMITH. MISHA THE WORDSMITH. ♥

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

SPACEMONKEY 666? DID YOU JUST TURN ME EVOL?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL I WASN'T THINKING, MY FINGERS. THEY. LOL BUT I FIXED IT BEFORE YOU EVEN COMMENTED, SO THERE.

[nabichansaotome.livejournal.com]

You know, what I kept thinking while Sam explained a hunter's life for the kid and how all you have got is your family was "...well *shifty eyes* Dean has Castiel now, so much for that theory >_>;". Makes me feel guilty. Almost.

But yeah, how about the longest week ever. We need Misha/Castiel/Jimmy like, yesterday D:


(Sorry that I keep stalking your journal, btw; it is just too awesome!)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

You are SO not alone, hahahha, I thought the exact same thing! But I didn't feel bad because for all of Sam's waxing poetic about being able to count on family, where was he when Dean was trapped in that crypt? Dean had to get out and save HIS ass, so if he had an angel to help him do it, well, he deserved it. :P

D: No fucking kidding, right?

Omg, don't apologize, I love having people to squee about SPN with! ♥

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

why cant it be next wek already???????????????????????

(and that part one inthe beginning of the clip means there will be a part two? and if yes, will you be please, please, please uploading it? my connection and youtube don't see eye to eye... *sigh*)

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

There's gonna be a few parts over the coming weeks, channel 10 tells me. Those bastards, making us wait.

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Can I just say that I loved the boys in the beginning of this episode? Sam brushing his teeth all sulky-like and Dean practically falling out of the car and SANDWICH IN THE BACKSEAT LOLOL and hitting his head and WHY IS JOHN'S PHONE STILL CHARGED? :P

I LOVED THAT SCENE. And they must maintain John's phone for scenarios just like this - old hunter friends, people he helped years before, people who were referred to him, etc, all have that number, and Dean and Sam can take the cases.

HEY. HEY. NOTICE THAT WHEN DEAN IS FRANTIC ABOUT SAM'S SAFETY AND OUT OF OPTIONS HE LOOKS UP AT THE ANGEL AND GETS HIS INSPIRATION THERE. I mean, sure, he had to bash in the window later, but still, THE ANGEL SAVED HIM. ♥

I'm not sure how to interpret that - is Dean breaking the angel window symbolism that he doesn't need their help to save himself, or that the angels (or some of the angels) are the way out? I think it's more likely to be the first.

ETA: And I'm fine with it being the first, because... Cas is escaping from the angels too. &hearts

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hmm... Dean was trapped and an angel gave him a way out, but he had to break that angel in order to do so, so maybe he has to break Cas (i.e. make him disobey) before he can save the world?

..Which begs the question, where does that leave Cas? That window shattered pretty good. D:

[spacemonkey-699.livejournal.com]

Lol, holy shit, how much have I spammed this post? Ah, I don't care, I'm going to bed after this, so whatevers. Episode was good. Needs more Cas. Next week cannot come soon enough.

I found out via imdb that Misha's brother's name is Sasha. I've been looking for a name everywhere, so I hope that's true. Misha and Sasha. I could die. (buncha girls. If you ignore the whole Misha=Michael thing, coz I do) And apparently his house burnt down when he was in high school. Who knew? He probably just built it again.

And I was rewatching the first J2M interview with Angela Bishop, in higher quality, and Jared totally picked something off of Misha's pants. Reached over Jensen to do so. I didn't notice that first time. I ALMOST ASPLODED.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

SASHA COLLINS. (lol at first I thought Sasha Obama, hahaha.) Awww.

He mentioned his house burning down at one of the cons, so that's why he didn't have a whole lot of stuff saved from his childhood, or something, and it was terribly sad but he said it so casually.

OH MY GOD YES. IN THE VERY BEGINNING! I HADN'T EVEN PAID ATTENTION TO THAT BEFORE BUT FJDSKLA;FJKDLS AF;DSKL; AOMFG YOU ARE RIGHT, JESUS, JESUS, THAT'S FUCKING. LOL OMG *EXPLODES* JARED!

[darkmagess.livejournal.com]

What does Jensen say in the video that the writer apologized for? Forgetting that he's an actual person? I can't actually make out the word on my stupid laptop.

"Senior partner" *cackle* Also, it's kind of funny that he said they "always" refer to him. He's been around for 1/4 of the time, and actually probably less because he's not in every episode.

[darkmagess.livejournal.com]

NM! Now that there's not background noise I could hear what he said.

I wonder what the writer thought he did that was necessary to apologize for.

[reveria.livejournal.com]

aww hon, you deserve all the kudos from that fic, it was amazing!

and phew, I think we might get into a fight over this episode. it had its moments, but ugh, it's my least favourite one so far...

[tracy.livejournal.com]

:"> Aww, thank you. ♥!

I don't feel too strongly about this episode either way. There was some good character development and all, building tension up to the big fight, but it was nothing earth-shattering.

[qwertypoiuq.livejournal.com]

MISHA'S ARM. LOL MISHA'S ARM. ♥ TOTALLY FUCKING ON PURPOSE. And awww, he is their wordsmith and grammar technician. God, could he BE more smitten? When Jensen's talking about him being the senior partner, the way Misha LOOKS at him, grins at him, and then Jensen laughs at his grammar technician line and Misha does this excited little leg-clap, just because he's made Jensen laugh

YESSSSSSSSSS, I KNEW YOU WOULD UNDERSTAAAAAAND. This is what I wanted more of from the con, screw that other tall bastard!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I WISH JENSEN WASN'T SO SHY AT CONS. I bet he and Misha flirt with each other just as much as Misha and Jared did at the con. And Misha's so eager-puppyish, getting all happy and bouncy when he makes Jensen laugh. Awww, I don't do RPS ships, but I ship their BFF adorableness. ♥

[joyeee.livejournal.com]

Hey I'm actually *using* my f-list! :D No way to resist watching these vids you post, esp. when it's the three of them together in an interview (even with weird music). :D I second everything you said, wordsmith, grammar technician, their expressions ♥♥♥ and Mr. Ackles referring to Mr. Collins as "the senior partner in the firm" OMG BAND-OF-BROTHERS ♥♥♥ Ok, I'm squeeing an unreasonable amount for such harmless dialogue but, but *_* it's a PARTNERSHIP. And Jared says "Mischa" on the side like...he knows Jensen has trouble saying "Mischa" directly, or something, I don't know!!! God, could I be more smitten?! I fangirl characters I don't go chasing after loads of stuff about the people who play them, yes Mr. Collins has special powers but, gah!

Speaking of the characters...the last vid ... I couldn't even WATCH IT. X___X eggblue said 4.20 would be the Castiel-angst ep., but I thought 4.16 WAS his angst-ep?!!!! (though I thought he held up quite well, considering) Then you write THAT under the video. OMG. Um. ... Um-um-um...

*SHRIEKING--------------------------------------******

T_____________T Now TERRIFIED of 4.20.

I (thankfully, I think) had no idea what your other post refers to but... you are not alone in school woes! *sends you virtual pie or brain-food or whatever of your choice. maybe a pic of Sam&Dean&Castiel enjoying beautiful pies is in the works ... but not soon, sorry* If misery loves company, you've definitely got it. Even if you don't need it BEST OF LUCK!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

YES TO THE BAND OF BROTHERS THING. That's EXACTLY what J2 and Misha have become, and I hope it shows more and more onscreen! *_*

Oh my god sorry this reply is so late, life has been all over the place lately, but now it's post-4.20 and. god, have you seen it? *crawls under a rock and never comes out*

ARE YOU STILL GOING TO DRAW SAM AND DEAN AND CASTIEL ENJOYING PIE? Oh god that would be amazing. ♥♥♥