I FEEL LIKE THIS VIDEO DESERVES A POST ALL ON ITS OWN.

[tracy_loo_who]

YOU HAVE darksilvercat TO THANK FOR THIS.

Two more, in HQ and with better sound quality! (lol look at Jensen, poor bb.)

I LOVE THAT YOU CAN WATCH MISHA GENTLY PAT JARED'S BUTT IN THIS ONE.

ETA: Aussie TV appearance! NOSE SCRUNCH. And Jared commenting on Misha's big blue eyes and how pretty he is. ♥♥♥

Oh, and just in case there's anyone in the world who hasn't seen it yet: Misha asking J2 about being lovers!

Comments

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL YES. "And what about Jesus? Hey, Cas, was Jesus a virgin? Or was he, like, using his messiah status to get the chicks? 'Hey, babe, let me show you a few more miracles these hands can do--'"

You should do your work so it's all out of the way and then write lotsa fic. :D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

YOU HAVE GOTTEN NEW CASTIEL ICONS! Or one, at least. Omg, I love this one. *_*

LOL, I bet Jesus made Castiel facepalm just as much as Luke did.

Cas: *NOSE SCRUNCH* Jesus tried to hook me up with someone very hairy, once. Of course, they were all pretty hairy back then..

Dean: "I bet I'd make a MUCH better wing-man than Jesus. Let's go get you some booty!"

Cas: "Give me yours. :("

Ugh, I slept for 15 hours last night and then about 5 more today and JUST started working. 1.5 pages in, and now I'm replying to comments again. :P

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Yes! I have a new Misha icon too! :D I'm slowly purging my Sylar icons and replacing them with Cas.

I really wish to see silly fic in which Dean drags Castiel from bar to bar, trying to hook him up with a variety of girls, and Castiel wants to please Dean so he does try, really, but it never quite works and he can't stop gazing dopily at Dean anyway. :P

I feel your pain. I have a short essay to write in the next twelve hours, and I am also replying to comments and oh, I have to sleep sometime in there too. My eye is twitching.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL, Sylar? Oh dear, poor Sylar, who'd have thought this day would come?

fjdlskaf;lsk I really wish to WRITE THAT FIC but instead I am writing about vestibulo-ocular reflexes and shit. FML. D:

DOPILY. ♥

I had this paper to write in the past twenty hours, it was due yesterday and I still haven't done it. D:

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Not past!me! I went and found some of my old comments on TWoP from my Sylar-loving days and man, it's embarrassing. I was such a fangirl, but I hate him so much now.

lol wow, fyl indeed. This is what you get for being a SCIENCE MAJOR. Grad school should allow you to write fic for credit.

D: We fail so hard, Tracy. Why? Why?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

You HATE him? Awww, that's sort of sad, I may be terribly embarrassed about comments/posts I made about H/D years and years ago, but I still ♥ them.

Grad school should let me automatically pass my exams if I manage to write 20,000 words in the next two days, regardless of what it's about. D:

We don't fail, we just realize that there are more important things in life, such as Misha.

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

That's because neither character suffered from extravagant character assassination and became the worst thing about a terrible television show. Here's how bad Heroes S3 was in terms of Sylar: he was my second favorite character and part of my OTP at the beginning of it, and by the end, I couldn't stand to even see him onscreen. Like, every time he was on, I was rolling my eyes and suppressing a surge of irritation and wishing he'd just die already. Heroes used to be my #1 show, my first real fandom, and I dropped S3 halfway through. It's really remarkable when the fandom people are dropping their show.

D: What happens if your big bang fic is late?

But other people don't realize this, so we fail by their standards. :(

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Jesus, I'm imagining Kripke doing something like that to Castiel, murdering his character, and that would KILL me. D:

Nothing HAPPENS if my big bang fic is late, I mean, it's not like they can do anything to me, I'll just have dropped out. But now I'm seriously wondering if I should even bother trying because the more I think about it, the more I'm going to have to rewrite the entire thing after today anyway, I had 5k words of some cute, kind of light-hearted stuff and obviously I can't do that anymore so is there a point? Other than to say that I did it? :|

Only Misha's standards matter!

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

DON'T EVEN SAY IT. D:

Yeah, Dean/Castiel is now MADE OF ANGST. aaaargh BREAK MY HEART, KRIPKE.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

SORRY.

I KIND OF CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE A BIG BANG ISH FIC POST-FINALE, THOUGH. Shit, I already want to write about Castiel in Heaven (somehow I don't think they tortured him like they'd torture people in Hell, it would have to be different, something more psychological, right?), but I just know it's going to get messed up in the next two weeks, so. D:

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Dude, I want to write fic about Castiel in heaven, and I haven't ever written anything but crackfic and intentional badfic. I'm already imagining what they must've done to him psychologically to get that Cas back.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

DO IT.

I keep thinking -- maybe they kept cutting his grace in half, halving it and halving it endlessly (to give him a taste of what would be permanent if he kept going with his human-loving?), but he can still feel every little severed part because they're all HIM and the more little bits there are, the more broken in half (literally) he is, and they gave him the option of tearing out that last bit but then he would fall and lose both God AND Dean and he didn't want that, either. So. He chose to be whole again, which means not being able to love Dean? Or something? I'm thinking it was the other angels, though, and God had nothing to do with this. Because I still want Dean/Castiel to be God-mandated. :|

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that is interesting.

I'm thinking it was the other angels, though, and God had nothing to do with this. Because I still want Dean/Castiel to be God-mandated. :|

But God is so hands-off in SPN! He may not even exist!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I sort of want Castiel's faith in God to be rewarding, in the end. Because, you know, it's Cas, and if he has faith in two things, it's God and Dean.

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Huh. I want to strip Castiel's faith away until the only thing he believes in anymore is Dean. *is mean*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

But. Aww, me too, but also. Sigh, I suppose the only reason I feel this way is because of something rogueslayer452 said once, about how maybe Castiel's true orders were to understand humanity on a level the other angels didn't know, and I liked that so much it's kind of become my personal canon. but it sort of necessitates the existence of God. :|

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

It depends, I guess. In SPN, I have trouble accepting a god - the creator-of-all, omniscient god that modern monotheistic religions speak of, not gods like the Trickster - because of the angels. What kind of dick deity treats his angels like that? What god gives his creations free will and then forbids them to use it on pain of death, gives them the ability to fall in love and then, when they do, tortures them until they stop? I can accept that kind of asshattery from the angels, if heaven is a society of angels run by angels where God is a fiction, because in that case, that kind of iron-fisted rule actually makes sense - the angels who claim to see God need it to control the masses. I can't accept it from a God who actually gives out orders like that; "Go torture Castiel, his epic love for Dean is making him step out of line." "Kill Anna, she wanted to have her own life." I'm actually fine with God existing, just hanging back and watching people, because he's got a plan and it's in motion and it involves suffering, by humans and by angels. So this all being part of God's secret, ineffable plan, fine. This being done on orders from God? Because this is his policy? What an asshole.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Right, that's what I meant before, it has to be the angels that did this to Cas and not God! God means for Castiel and Dean to be together, and he knows they WILL be, it's their fate that he's decided for them (maybe), so he's content to watch it happen without interfering. The other angels don't know yet, so they're doing things their way, but Cas will end up with Dean anyway, eventually.

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

But God has to watch everything without interfering or the whole thing's invalid anyway. If he's not willing to step in for this part of the plan, why would he for the rest of it?

Oh, man, I'm still in so much pain over this. I was just on YouTube and there was a clip of Castiel from an older ep and I was thinking that just like I'd rewatch 4x01-4x03 and be like, "Aww, Castiel's come so far since then," now I'm going to rewatch the park bench scene or 4x16 or 4x18 and be like, "Aww, this was Castiel before he was broken," WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO MY SWEET, SCHMOOPY ANGEL

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Maybe he decides what happens, very, very generally, but not how it happens?

fjdkls;afljksd YOU ARE HURTING ME JUST BY TALKING ABOUT THIS. D: D: D: God, I just want to fix him now. D:

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Or if there was a plan from the beginning, everything arranged in a certain way, but then free will is what, again? :|

I KNOOOOW! UGH I WANT TO FIX HIM SO BADLY. I need fic where Dean brings him back to himself. I wonder what the next episodes will be like? We both assumed they'd be closer, but now Cas is so cold and so broken, and dskfhsdhsdjh

ETA: Oh, and I did the math. Was Castiel gone for two days or three? Assuming that heaven time is on the same ratio to earth time that hell time is, Castiel was gone for around three months.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Is free will really all that important to have in reality as long as we think we have it?

THAT'S HAT I'M TRYING TO WRITE NOW, for big bang, but I mean, it takes place after the finale and I don't even know what happens in the finale, lolol wtf, life. But I just. need Dean to fix him. NEED it. Need it so badly I won't be able to think about anything else until then.

I'm not sure if it was two days or three! Three months is a long time, though. D: Cas.

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Or if the decisions aren't being made for us, we're just put on the earth as people who will inevitably make those decisions.

I have had a sick feeling in my stomach all day, fretting and angsting about Cas. And I thought the wait for this episode was hard? *clutches head* OMG, THIS MUST BE HOW DEANGIRLS FEEL. He probably won't be okay by the finale (but maybe on his way to getting there?), and can you even imagine the summer hiatus?!

Three months of the wrath of heaven being inflicted upon you to stop you feeling emotions? D: Fuck, that poor guy.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Lucifer obviously had free will, though, right? God didn't intend for that to happen? Ugh, maybe you're right, maybe there is no God, but I still want Castiel/Dean to be fated, somehow. Or maybe they aren't, but they're the key to saving the world anyway. I DON'T KNOW. D:

God, I've been a fucking mess since last night, but in the next episode Dean supposedly goes to Cas for help, right? And gets infused with some angel mojo? So they're at least.. working together, if not. more emotionally involved. fjkdls;jf DON'T TALK ABOUT THE SUMMER HIATUS. I'm just glad there aren't any more little ones until then!

It makes me angst even more when you call him a "guy" because that makes him sound so NORMAL, and so small, and so schmoopy, and god, god, Cas. D: I just want to cry.

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

Or maybe God did, because that's all part of the plan, too. (You should read the book "Lucifer Rising". It's fab, and Uriel gets an appearance. He's hilariously in character.) And sure, Castiel/Dean would be fated, but so would every other hookup.

Yeah, they're working together, but like - will Dean try to get Castiel on his side again, or will he just react with anger? Will he just call Cas because there's no one else? It makes me so sadface that in 4x18, Dean told Castiel that if Cas help him then, when Castiel was in trouble, Dean wasn't lifting a finger - and Castiel did come through for him, and then when Cas needed Dean, Dean couldn't save him. D: Dean didn't even get there in time to try. Also, Dean was so not as worried as I hoped he'd be, lawl. I wonder if he really didn't get it - he just assumed Castiel would be coming back, and would be the same Cas, his Cas - or if he actually didn't care that much?

I know, angels that are "guys" are angels that chat with their charges and feel friendliness and affection and aren't captured by their fellow angels and broken.