After School Special

[tracy_loo_who]

This is from a couple of weeks ago, but I feel it's relevant:

sexts: Also, Brock Kelly is JUST under 9 years older than Colin Ford, hence the obvious age difference.
tracy_loo_who: BROCK KELLY.
tracy_loo_who: LOL NAME.
tracy_loo_who: LOL. <3
sexts: I KNOW
tracy_loo_who: BROCOLLI.
tracy_loo_who: <3 <3 <3
sexts: He sounds like a soap star
sexts: OMFG LOL LOL LOL
sexts: <3 <3 <3

I enjoyed this episode, and by "I enjoyed this episode" I mean it made me absolutely fucking miserable.

Sure, we always knew that Dean's present-day hurts (aside from the Hell thing, of course) were rooted very early in life, but it's different to actually see that. It's different when we actually see Dean, ever the protective guardian figure, looking after Sam, being angry on Sam's behalf, wanting to help Sam, and ultimately getting completely brushed off by Sam. Of course it's natural for any kid to be sullen at an overprotective parent, so I'm not blaming Sam here in the least, but Dean isn't his parent. Dean is his big brother who was dumped with the responsibility of raising him and who we've never once seen complain about it. Dean is his big brother who puts up that fierce, false bravado because he needs to be strong for Sam, and if he isn't strong enough, then he's damn well going to act like he is until he tricks even himself into believing it. I mean, why the fuck can't Dean ever let anyone in if not because he grew up needing to be constantly strong without anyone there to let in? All this for Sam, and then Sam, when told by his friend that his brother is cool, rolls his eyes and says, "yeah, he thinks so." It's no fucking wonder Dean never thought he was good enough for anybody. And sure, we know Sam secretly looked up to his big brother all his life, but that's the point. Secretly. How the fuck was Dean supposed to know?

All Dean knows is that if he stays in one place for too long, he'll eventually end up shunned and alone while Sam slowly but surely works his way into everyone's hearts. Everyone adores Sam, and Sam has a teacher who takes a personal interest in him. Who the fuck ever took a personal interest in Dean? Amanda did, for a little bit there, wanted him to meet her parents and all, and Dean was adamantly against the idea but really, don't you think some small, hidden part of him reveled in that? In being good enough for someone? And maybe that's the small, hidden part of him that made him run after her, try to explain, however feebly, before she tore him apart. That scene fucking hurt -- I know a lot of you aren't terribly impressed with the kid's acting, but his expression in that scene fucking hurt. And it wasn't even the expression so much as the yelling after her that he was a hero. That, more than anything, was proof of just how deeply her words struck all the raw and tender places inside him, that desperate need to be thought of as someone worth something. And you can tell just how long that wound lasted because Dean's thirty now and he still obviously hates this place.

I imagine this wasn't the only time something like this happened to Dean, either, and every single time his shield of false bravado only gets stronger while he gets weaker on the inside. So he never lets that shield down, except for that one time when he did, with Cassie, and we all know how that went down. When it comes down to it, Dean's damaged himself emotionally so badly because of his need to take care of Sam that there are no women who can possibly deal with him and his issues. And that was even before Hell fucked him up a million times over again, so we won't even talk about his compatibility with anyone now. John and Sam were the only people who could deal with Dean, but John is dead and Sam wanted out at one point. Sure, he came back because Jessica died, but now he wants out again. He wants to cut the head off the snake so he can wash his hands of this hunting shit for good, be normal, and grow old.

Well, that's all good and fine in his mind because he thinks Dean can be normal and grow old too, but Dean can't be normal. If that last scene in the school is anything to go by, Sam will adjust to society; he'll find love and enter into long-lasting, meaningful relationships, and Dean.. won't. He's just not fucking capable of it, because no one's fucking capable of having that with him, so he'll probably spend the rest of his miserable years obsessing over not just looking after Sam (who he has to give up pieces of to other people), but Sam's entire fucking family and everyone Sam cares about. It's not fair. And to be fair (lol, pun not intended, what the fuck ever), it's not fair to Sam, either, because he never asked for Dean to be his guardian figure, and he never asked for Dean to love/need him that much. Dean would give up everything for Sam in a heartbeat, but does that mean Sam is obligated to give up his own happy ending for Dean just because Dean is incapable of having one himself? Yeah, Sam would give up his life for Dean, no questions asked, but it's an entirely different thing to give up his happiness. I can see how Sam could be eternally burdened by guilt (and, as ungrateful as it sounds, maybe even come to resent it) if he were to leave Dean and find happiness of his own. Looks like a lose-lose situation to me: Sam can't be happy as long as he's on the road, and Dean can't be happy if Sam's not on the road with him.

Naturally, me being me, my answer to all of these problems is Castiel. :P Castiel isn't human, and he doesn't have human needs, which puts him in a pretty unique position to be able to deal with Dean's issues. He really does have the honest-to-god patience of a saint (he may have lost it momentarily and threatened Dean, but he came back, and I like to think he'll always come back), and when Dean finally lets his guard down with Castiel like he did with Cassie, Castiel won't run in the other direction. That's all Dean needs, really, is for someone to think he's good enough to want to be around him, and Castiel can give him that. I mean, as long as Castiel doesn't have to go back to Heaven, there's no reason he can't stick with Dean for the rest of Dean's life. He won't ever replace Sam, of course, but he could make it possible for Dean to need Sam a little less, just enough to give Sam some room to breathe. Everyone's happy(ish), right? Except maybe Castiel, who's immortal and who has to watch Dean grow old and die, which sucks, but hey, if Dean's soul goes to Heaven they can continue getting it on up there. Who wants to write soul!porn?

Uhm, this is my cue to stop, I think, so IN CONCLUSION: DEAN NEEDS CASTIEL. (And also, more red shorts and long socks and headbands and whistles. And big balls with which to hit people.)

And I need Castiel, too. Continuing the tradition from last week, here is a small something to help cope with Kripke's failure to provide us with any Misha/Castiel this week. (I watched it a few dozen times to cheer myself up after this episode):

We'll get to see the whole thing in 11 days, wheee!

Comments

[dangerous-47.livejournal.com]

Great post. :D

I so agree. Totally, with what ya just said.

Man, when she said I was just all ouch and i don't think him yelling I'm a hero and stuff isn't at all OOC. He wasn't as closed off back then, I guess. It broke my heart a little. :(

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Yay, I'm glad I'm not the only one!

He wasn't as closed off back then, I guess.

Exactly, and it hurts to think of all the reasons he has to be closed off. It broke my heart a LOT. :(

[mangokulfi.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this post. You've put into words exactly why I love Dean/Castiel so much. Cas really is Dean's only hope for happiness. On the one hand that breaks my heart for Dean because he's always put Sam before everything. But on the other - Dean now has Castiel! Yay!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Yay, shipper bonding moment! XD ♥

Right, I will always come down firmly on Dean's side, but really, it's not a good position for Sam to be in either, to be loved and needed too much. Castiel makes everything all better!

[rogueslayer452.livejournal.com]

YES. THIS. EXACTLY. EVERY SINGLE WORD IN THIS WAS SPOT-ON AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT, BB.

It's so depressing seeing Dean just going about life with this brick wall up, knowing his duty to be the protector of the family, keep Sammy safe, the skills and instincts of being a hunter and always just being the surrogate father to Sam when he really should've just been a kid. You're right, he shouldn't have been placed with that kind of responsibility and grew up too fast that the life as a hunter is the only thing he's ever known. When Sam wants out, it's understandable. Their lives aren't easy, in fact is quite dangerous and life-threatening, and if they could both have normal, mundane lives I'm sure they would drop everything and do so. But they can't. It's impossible.

It's interesting as I'm evaluating the episode after much contemplating over it, like you just did here, that the episode touched on something that some viewers might not get underneath. How the girl talked to Dean in the end, I understood where she came from because she didn't know him that well. But we do, and when he said that they "didn't know" him is absolutely right. He then went off saying that he was a hero and saved people, which okay he could've kept to himself because that would make people go wtf, but he was desperate and at a loss to make people understand his side. He wasn't a sad, lonely little boy to be pitied. And yet, unfortunately, he is deep down. He just didn't want to admit it. He places a lot of pride for taking care of Sammy, for being the second father and adult figure in that family, and he'll be the first to defend his family by any means necessary; however, to be overlooked like that, to be seen as unworthy and worst of all for others to take pity on him? He couldn't accept that.

It was also interesting seeing Sam take control of the situation, staring down the bully and even placing himself into the fight like that (and I fully expected something regarding his powers, hidden but still there, to come out, or am I the only one?) Perhaps he got that from Dean or their father, but you're right. Sam can adapt to his settings much better than Dean, and that is why I can totally see Sam living a life outside of hunting, but not Dean. It's sad and depressing, because we all want Dean to live for himself for a change, to have that luxury normal people have.

The whole thing about the teacher taking a special interest in Sam and Dean having nobody is really heartbreaking. Damn. :((

And you know I totes agree with you about Castiel in Dean's life. It just makes so much sense and natural, and it's about damn time that Dean had someone else in his life whole took a personal interest in him other than his brother, who believes in him and trusts him and has faith in him, who wants to see him succeed. I mean, shippery heart aside, I just want more bonding between them so Dean knows that he has someone to trust and who won't run away or be disappointed in him. Castiel has already entrusted himself in Dean, so now it's time to return the favor.

I could go on and on about Dean/Castiel, which you already know. ;D But this was a nice little writeup that I just had to get that in there. (and yes, soul!porn would be totes amazing).

MISHA MISHA MISHA!!! ILU MISHA, AND YOUR HUGE DINASOUR PEEN. XDDDD NOW GIMME SOME CASTIEL STUFFS NAO, KRIPKE AND CO.! WHY Y'ALL LEAVING US HANGING?!?! SRSLY.

[karaz.livejournal.com]

It just makes so much sense and natural, and it's about damn time that Dean had someone else in his life whole took a personal interest in him other than his brother, who believes in him and trusts him and has faith in him, who wants to see him succeed.

I still hold out hope that this isn't all going to end in brother versus brother (because I don't really want that) but comments like these show how one could get Dean to value something/one over Sam.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I KNEW YOU WOULD AGREE WITH ME, BB. \o/ <33333!

Yes, it really IS depressing. D: And it makes me wonder what Dean would have been like if Mary had never died. I'm sure he'd still be fiercely protective of Sam, but they could have actually been brothers instead of that weird almost-father-son thing. That would have been good to see, but of course then we wouldn't have a show. :P

He wasn't a sad, lonely little boy to be pitied. And yet, unfortunately, he is deep down.

My point exactly. Those who fight against it the hardest are usually those that it's most true for, and that's why Dean breaking down and yelling that and fighting so desperately hard even though he must know people would think he was ridiculous -- that's what spoke most of just how sad and lonely he was, and that's what really broke me. :(

Heee, I was pretty proud of Sammy in this episode! After their first confrontation I was itching for him to hand that boy's ass back to him, even if it did sort of eventually end up ruining Dirk's life. That was a kick-ass ass-kicking. XD And wow, that would have been beyond awesome if they'd hinted at his powers, but really, even now Sam doesn't have any special powers that would help in a physical fight against a human. Except maybe his slightly superhuman strength (I'm thinkin' taking off Gordon's head), but that could be due to his massive muscles and massive self. If they ARE actually superhuman in a way, well, little Sammy here certainly did pack a hard punch.

I really, really wish Dean had a teacher who took an interest in him, too, who told him what that guy told Sam. He would've brushed it off on the surface, but would it have mattered? Would it have made him think about college more? :(

I just want more bonding between them so Dean knows that he has someone to trust and who won't run away or be disappointed in him. Castiel has already entrusted himself in Dean, so now it's time to return the favor.

THIS. I mean, it's half your paragraph on Dean/Cas, hahha I know, but. this. and everything else about this pairing. fjdk;sflkj

HEEEE, I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT EPISODE AND I DON'T EVEN WATCH N/T. SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL THERE IN HIS T-SHIRT AND NECKLACE. GOD.

[karaz.livejournal.com]

I thought the 'yeah he thinks so' line was great, but it did make me think about how close to normal Sammy still was then when Dean was never given that luxury. Sam would never be his annoying little brother because everything was always going to be life and death. It is really sad. I completely agree that Sam could get back into society with relative ease, even after all that has happened and Dean probably can't.

OH MY GOD. HOW HAVE I MISSED THESE ADVERTS FOR NIP/TUCK. *dies* Hilarious.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

To be honest I laughed the first time I saw it, but then I started thinking about it and, well, Dean pretty much ruined his entire life for Sam and Sam doesn't even appear to think much of him. Which isn't true, of course, but that's what it must seem like to Dean and just. Fail. D:

I wish they could've been brothers. The brotherlove on this show is amazing and that's why I watched the first three seasons, but honestly, it's just not even healthy in the least.

GOD CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT EP. OMG.

[reallycorking.livejournal.com]

sadfkjaewlikj AHH this post is so amazing and it made me all weepy and sad. :((( DEAN. SAM. DEANNNNNN. So heartbreaking. D:

[tracy.livejournal.com]

This EPISODE made me all weepy and sad. :((( *cling*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL. It was the first thing that came to mind, what can I say? :))

[vyrantium.livejournal.com]

Poor poor Dean :( I loved that episode for that reason... the look into Sam and Dean's past and how the dynamics differed from where they are now. In a lot of ways, Dean was the same... but in a lot of ways we saw perhaps the beginnings of many of his internal issues he still fights with today. In a way I did love that scene toward the end, but yes... it was heartbreaking.

I'm actually with you on this. I don't see there being a happy ending for Dean... I really don't think it's possible. I also have this terrible feeling that at least one of the brothers won't make it out of the series finale (PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE NEXT SEASON ALREADY!) alive. If that's true, I see it being Sam... which is even worse for Dean in the grand scheme of things. I think if there was any semblance of a happy ending on Dean's side it would be completely OOC. I don't think anyone exists in the realm of Supernatural that's completely "right" for Dean... Castiel and Sam are all that he has and I don't think Kripke would ever steer EITHER of those pairings together sadly :( He'll just tease us with eye!sex and such, lol.

I don't think Dean is necessarily hopeless, but within the realm they exist in that may be true. None of the people we've seen come and go on the show could ever deal with him... Cassie was pretty much proof of that. Even Jo would have cracked if they'd hooked up (thank GOD they didn't!) I think if Dean stands a chance it'd have to be with someone just as damaged as he is inside... someone with some of the same issues so they wouldn't even have to ask, they'd simply understand.

Speaking of Jo, did we ever get confirmation that she died along with Ellen or is that kind of up in the air? I'm still terrified the show will end all OOC with Jo coming back around and winding up with Dean O_O ICK... DO NOT WANT!

ETA: Holy CRAP that episode of Nip Tuck looks hilarious! How come I don't see it on his imdb page yet I wonder? I don't even watch that show but I'm going to have to see this one, LOL

[dangerous-47.livejournal.com]

Ellen didn't die. She was like the only one to seemingly survive. She was with them and Bobby when the hell's gate opened.

And also Jo didn't die either, she wasn't working at that place anymore. She was somewhere else.

[big-heart-june.livejournal.com]

Oh BB ♥, agreeing with you as always ♥...just finished watching the episode...this line hurts so freaking much:

. Who the fuck ever took a personal interest in Dean?

So true, so so so so true :(( :(( *dies a little inside*

Where the fuck is Castiel..?

And OMFG! soul!porn! *giggles*

This episode totally and utterly slayed me... THANK YOU SO MUCH for yet another beautiful review <33333333333333

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*CLING* HI BB. We will hurt for Dean together, then. :( :( :(

Castiel will take a personal interest in Dean. As well as an angelic interest in Dean, a right-because-it-comes-from-God interest in Dean, and I can only hope that it's not too late.

Wah, seriously. Ep 15 or 16, who are they fucking kidding? D:

Aww, I'm glad this review agreed with you so much, bb. <3333333333333333333333!

[darksilvercat.livejournal.com]

This, yes, everything here! *points at original post* THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!! Spot on!

And of COURSE Castiel is the solution, oh Show, my Show, don't you see how awesome it would be to fix Dean and give everyone a happy ending if only you would make full use of Castiel's potential!!! And it's not like that would be a cop-out, there can still be oodles of angst and traumatic issues for everyone to work through, but CASTIEL MAKES EVERYTHING SHINIER!!!

And that vid makes everything funnier!!!

Also, this might be relevant to your interests: http://savingfaith333.livejournal.com/22136.html

Pics, vids and fic recs galore! And I'd recommend digging into all the comment threads to make sure you don't miss anything!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

It's so good to have people who agree with me! \o/ ♥

Yes, he really does, and also I can't believe Kripke's got his claws on Misha and HASN'T MADE HIM TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT. lol lol so shallow, sorry, but seriously, BELLY. Chest, arms, HIPBONES, guh. Surely Castiel can get hurt somehow and Dean has to rip his shirt open..?

RELEVANT POST IS EXTREMELY RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS! <333333333333333333333333

[taurenova.livejournal.com]

Yeah - this episode was another one in the fine tradition of oh Dean. *sighs*

For me it was achey in all the right ways. And wee!Sam and teen!Dean were pretty spot on, all things considered (Sam more than Dean, natch, because they reused the kid). And that shot of Dean in the PE outfit was hilarious.

Castiel being there for Dean (because of the ageless thing) as you put it reminds me of my own, similar theory, about Doctor Who and how Captain Jack is the only person who could always be there for the Doctor. It's an interesting concept.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

It seems like all of them are, these days. D: And of course it only makes me love the character more, but honestly, there's only so much hurt I can take.

Heh, I actually enjoyed Brock Kelly's performance. I mean, he wasn't perfect, especially the voice, but he's got such impossibly enormous shoes to fill that I was willing to give him every benefit of the doubt. All things considered, I think he did a fabulous impersonation of Dean.

I really fail at life for not watching Doctor Who, I'm sorry. D: But I kind of get the gist of it -- a few people compared Dean to Rose, too, in the comments to one of my fics. All "you can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of my life with you." :( Poor Cas. All depends on what happens to Dean's soul when he dies, I guess.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahaha omg, I thought everyone had already seen it, I was just trying to draw the rest of you down into the hopeless cycle of watching it on repeat with me. :))

They both serve to protect and fight evil, but through everything Dean has Sam, and Castiel has his faith.

Aww, so beautifully put. Yes, I completely agree that Dean would be at an absolute loss if there weren't things to hunt. So maybe Sam can have his normal life after the war, and Castiel and Dean can figure out what they want to do with their lives together. As companions or more. <3

[starflowers.livejournal.com]

There is a happy ending for Dean. I don't know what it is but I am stubbornly optimistic at all times. Like at the end of Angel. That totally worked out well for everyone.

Anyway. I don't know if Castiel is the solution here. I think what Dean NEEDS, is a cabin in the woods, some beer, and Sammy and his children living right across the lake. So, you know, Dean can teach them bad words and such. Okay, fine, and Castiel can pop in whenever he's not busy doing angel stuff for hot sex. Dean can have a motor boat and he can fuck around with the engine, calling Bobby for help when it still won't work. And he can have a dog. And Castiel can have a cat that Dean takes care of (it was a stray and there was a storm and it was lost and lonely and wet and had massive Sam eyes so Dean let it come in and kept it and when anyone said anything about him softening in his old age, he can snap that he only let it come in so Castiel wouldn't bitch at him for letting a cat die on his doorstep.)

Also, I'm sure there's a clause that states that angels' host bodies can age if they want them to.

[kalikahuntress.livejournal.com]

Apart from nodding along here, I think Castiel should be a big part of the solution, because in order for Dean and Sam to get out of this alive with their lives intact, they need a heavy hitter on their side and he would be it. But I was wondering, do you think Sam would ever consider having children knowing he has demon blood? I could see Sam adopting but I wonder if he would risk having children.

[katrinaswift.livejournal.com]

>Who wants to write soul!porn?




>:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[tracy.livejournal.com]

LOL COME ON KATRINA, YOU ALREADY WROTE THE LOCKER ROOM SCENE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL, RIGHT?

[commodoresexual.livejournal.com]

See, I agree with all of this, except the part where Sam gets the happy ending and Dean doesn't. I could go on this ramble that Dean's happy ending is Sam getting HIS happy ending, but that's trite, and after that episode, I finally get it.

There are no happy endings for the Winchesters - not because they are going to die in a horrible flaming death pit (but it's Kripke, who knows?. Because normalcy isn't always 'happy' - the show has shown us this. Sometimes the monsters are lurking right within the walls of the happy family home, sometimes the picket fence is used to keep in darker things. Normalcy is relative.

What Sam and Dean are going to have at the end of this, what I think they deserve? Is a home. Maybe there's a wife for Sam, maybe there's that kid, but it's not going to be a home where Dad gets home at five and dinner's on the table. It's going to be real life - there's going to be worries about bills, car problems that Uncle Dean needs the parts to fix, if there's kids there's going to be worries about their safety from bullies. It's going to be viceral, and real. It's going to be Life, and Sam can't have Life without Dean, so Dean's going to be Uncle Dean living over the garage.
And on weekends Daddy and Uncle Dean go off and come back and sometimes they're bleeding and sometimes they're sad but they always come home and delve right back into making sure the teeth are brushed and everyone gets to school, work on time.

Reality of the matter is, if the Apocalypse is averted, there's going to be a lot less for the Winchester brothers to do. So if Sam doesn't become evil and Dean manages not to become a martyr and Castiel can keep Uriel from killing the both of them? Who knows where the road may lead.

It won't always be happy, but then again, it won't be an ending. It'll be a beginning.

...and if Kripke loves us AT ALL, Uncle Castiel lives above the garage with Uncle Dean and makes a mean blueberry pie. Just saying.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I don't think I envisioned quite that normal an ending for Sam, the nine to five and dinner thing, but I'm not sure what I thought it would be. A family and some dark secrets, maybe, but ones that don't bother them so much that the family falls apart. Sam and Dean smooth over the nasty things as they pop up, the family knows something about them but isn't unduly concerned.

Actually it's much like your vision of them, I think, except I had Uncle Dean more in the background, popping in on them regularly but spending most of his time keeping them safe. I have to say, though, I like your version much better because I can see Dean actually finding some modicum of happiness in that. and now that you've laid it out like that, it's become my personal wish for the show, right down to Uncle Castiel living above the garage with Uncle Dean and making mean blueberry pie. ♥

You're right, though, there is no such thing as a happy ending, not for the Winchesters, not for anyone. Not until they (we) die, I guess, some sort of fulfilled, happy death. And even then it might be a beginning, depending on whether you believe in any form of afterlife. But, whoa, way off topic. Unless we move on to soul!sex between Dean and Castiel in heaven, mmm.

[enablelove.livejournal.com]

[tracy.livejournal.com]

[someblazingstar.livejournal.com]

I just found this post and it's brilliant...although this week's episode makes me seriously think that Dean is too broken even for Castiel to have a hope of fixing. :( Your insight into Sam and Dean is excellent, though.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hello, and thank you! :D

this week's episode makes me seriously think that Dean is too broken even for Castiel to have a hope of fixing

Each of the past few episodes has made me feel the same way, actually, more and more. :( But then I always think, the more impossible recovery seems, the more Castiel can't be just another someone who gave up on Dean. What's the point of Castiel having faith in Dean if faith is easy, right?

[five-of-five.livejournal.com]

Hi, I've never posted on your LJ before, I stumbled over as soon as the tears cleared from my eyes and I was able to see who the fantastic author of Listen To My Needs was (I'll probably review that tomorrow after my brain has time to process the wonderful).

Erm...anyway, I saw that you'd reviewed After School Special and thought I'd take a look.... Thank you a bajillion times over for articulating so beautifully why I was tearful at the end because of the tragedy that is Dean's lot in life, but not feeling sorry for Sam's high school experience. Like you said, this isn't fair to him either, but at least he's got a shot at normal.

I love the way your brain works and fits together perfectly the broken pieces of Sam and Dean's childhood so they make sense with the men they've become. I think that last scene with Amanda was Dean's natural defense springing into action. He must have known she'd come looking for him in the janitor's closet. He also knew that they'd be leaving soon and this was the best way he could think of to end a relationship with someone who he'd let get too close. Then she walked through the door and her face crumbled, and Dean saw how much he'd hurt her. Dean's a natural protector and he probably didn't think she'd even give much of a damn, but she did and in that last moment he allowed himself to want something more then what he had so he chased after her but it was too late. And he learned not to let people get close to him again, until Cassie that is, and don't even get me started on that relationship.

I think the point I was trying to make is that you're awesome, a great writer, and I love you forever and ever because of that Misha clip :-D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hello, and thank you so much for dropping by to comment! I'm thrilled the fic got such an emotional reaction out of you, wow. ♥!

You know, I hadn't thought of that before at all, that Dean set up the whole getting-caught thing on purpose to break it off with her. But now that you put it like that.. I completely agree. That's so Dean, to be so terrified of any sort of emotional conversation about his leaving that he would do that. And it's also so Dean to feel for her when he saw how crushed she was, awww. The whole thing with her wanting to introduce him to her parents -- she took a personal interest in him and he saw that, in that moment, and yes, I can see him wanting it. This breaks my heart so much. :(

Heee, glad you enjoyed the Misha clip, and thank you again for the lovely comment and the added insight! ♥