tracy_loo_who | THERE IS SO MUCH FLAIL IN THIS POST.

I GOT IT, I GOT IT, OH MY GOD. MY COPY OF THE BSG YEARBOOK. IT'S IN MY LAP. !!!

fdsla;fsldfkjdlsk; *FLAIL* I was going to go out tonight to watch the new episode with friends, but frak that. On second thought I'm just going to stay in and read this book and cuddle it and obsess over it and it's so satisfyingly heavy in my lap, glorious, glorious, worth every bit of the money I forked over for it. And what perfect timing, too, this, the episode, just. Oh my god, life, I love you.

There will be pictures and Very Good Things later!

Okay but first, before BSG completely and utterly takes over everything, LAST NIGHT! MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D FOLLOWED BY SUPERNATURAL. !!

MBV: Oh my god, this movie was not one I would've seen if Jensen wasn't in it, but Jensen WAS in it, Jensen was HUGE in it, and that makes it one of the most amazing movies I've ever seen. Most gorgeous people look less perfect when you zoom in them, right, but JENSEN IS THE OPPOSITE. The bigger (heh) and closer the more perfect he is, and his TANK TOP and his arms and his neck and just. I MADE SO MANY EMBARRASSING NOISES IN THE THEATER, SERIOUSLY. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME HE APPEARED ON SCREEN.

What really struck me, actually, was how Dean he was. I mean, I know, same genre, similar roles, but it was more that that. Everything he did, the way he walked, his facial expressions, right down to his quip about that guy's hand -- so familiar and so Dean. But Dean without his Sammy, Dean who I hadn't seen more of for two months, it made me ache. In a good way.

And he said FUCK, god, that was so like Dean too, except Dean never says fuck and he did, and I came instantly. First time I've ever heard Jensen say it, I think. I can't decide which turns me on more -- angry, dangerous Jensen or bashful, lovey Jensen. He does both SO WELL. Jensen should always always always appear in 3D movies. Preferably with Jared and Misha, too. :( OMG 3D SUPERNATURAL, HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE?

SPN: Oh man, there are so many things I want to say about this episode, but I've spent a lot of time reading reaction posts today and it seems like most of it has already been said (either by you guys or in comments I made), so I'll make it quick.

I would've liked to have seen more continuity with Heaven and Hell since, after all, we've been waiting for two months to see what happens ~~with Castiel and Dean~~ next, but I enjoyed this episode a lot despite that. Loved the creepiness, the season one feel, everything else that everyone else loved. (Btw, it seems most people who posted their reviews over at

spnnewsletter hated it, while everyone on my flist loved it. *laughs* I love you guys. ♥)

Dean, oh man, I gotta talk about Dean. WHEN CAN WE STOP HURTING HIM MORE AND START HEALING HIM, SHOW? That look on his face when he apologized for not being able to save Ted broke me more than even his lines in the end. Not that those weren't heart-wrenchingly delivered, because they were, but. That look. And then his blind need to save the kid and all the semi-suicidal moves he pulled throughout the entire episode. It's almost like when he was semi-suicidal last season, but whereas before it was because he didn't think it made a difference, now it's because he hates himself, and that hurts. Not that we didn't already know this, but I might've forgotten, over the hiatus, just how deep and ugly that hate is.

What's with Castiel not dropping in on them for a month? I really want to know. And I want to know if Dean's obsessive job-hunting is more than just saving people and avoiding awkward conversations with Sam -- maybe he's avoiding dwelling on Castiel, too, and/or thinking that just maybe the next job will lead him to Castiel. XD But Castiel's going to have a tougher time with Dean than even I thought. Which, actually, is the very reason I ship them harder now. The more impossible redemption (in his own eyes) and recovery seem to be for Dean, the more necessary it is for me to have faith that their relationship will be good for him, which is fitting because so much of their relationship is founded on their faith in each other.

I always had this notion that Castiel would guide Dean on his path to saving the world, and in doing so would give Dean a reason to forgive himself. But Dean doesn't need a reason to forgive himself, perhaps that's the point, and after talking to

rogueslayer452 I think it has to be the other way around. Dean has to forgive himself first, and perhaps in saving himself, he'll save the world. I would like nothing more right now than for Dean to put himself, his own life, before that of someone else's. Anyone else's. He can save himself and thus be alive to save the world, and how beautiful would that be? The perfect parallel (and yet opposite) to saving himself in Hell to torture others. I haven't quite figured out how Castiel can help him do this, but I will, so expect more meta. XD

Ending here for now because this is already way longer than I'd intended and anyway I'm starving (yet completely unable let go of BSG book to get food for the life of me, oh god), but.. trust me to go on and on about Dean/Castiel in a review of a Castiel-less episode. :))

IN CONCLUSION: BEST TWO DAYS OF THE YEAR.