BSG 4x08 Parody. and other things.

[tracy_loo_who]

People seemed to enjoy the BSG 4x07 parody I wrote, so...


OPENING SEQUENCE: Twelve Cylon models, etc. etc.

	NATALIE: Hold my hand, Doc, I'm dying. COTTLE: Man, I hope word of this doesn't get out to Gaeta... NATALIE: If there's an afterlife, I will totally wait for you.
	QUORUM: OMG we have lines!!1 We're so excited about this that we're all going to talk at once so no one can really tell what we're saying anyway. It'll be loud, annoying, and meaningless. Kind of like wind chimes. Those are still ornaments, huh? ZAREK: Sit down and stfu. QUORUM: We heard that the president had an unfortunate incident involving a pregnant porcupine, a jar of honey, and hungry cylons. She's dead, right? ZAREK: I don't know. Adama wouldn't answer my call. I guess he didn't have much fun on our date after all... QUORUM: Blah blah blah blah blah!!1 ZAREK: ...He's probably still hung up on Roslin. Why doesn't he like ME? What do I have to do, be the president of the Twelve Colonies or something? ...Hmm, you know, that might just do it. I'm gonna be the president now, kay? LEE: I suspect this heated atmosphere isn't good for my complexion... I can practically feel my pores clogging up.
	LEE: The fleet wants you military guys to read them a bedtime story! ADAMA: You read it to them, that's your job now. LEE: This phone I'm holding can be such a prick sometimes. Srsly.
	ADAMA: Why the hell did you shoot Natalie, I liked her! ATHENA: I love creepies, and she was gonna take mine away! ADAMA: You murdered someone, risked the lives of the last remaining humans in the universe, probably got both of our beloveds killed, etc. All of that is okay, but what's not okay is that you broke a promise to me. ATHENA: Punish me! But don't take away my creepie. ADAMA: I have to. Besides, sharing is caring, Athena.
	QUORUM: Adama even liked Baltar at one point! Maybe he'll learn to like you too? ZAREK: I dunno. :( Only he can answer that question. QUORUM: Whatever, let's ask his son. LEE: My dad isn't gonna like you, Zarek, get over it. QUORUM: Blah blah blah blah blah!!1 FANS: Sit down and stfu. Think of Lee's pores!
	ADAMA: Let's find my pres — I mean, the hub! TIGH: Yeah, yeah. You know that girl who everyone thought was a cylon even before she brought back the cylon baseship that kidnapped the president? She's the CAG now. And she wants inexperienced civi pilots to fly so close together they'll practically be having ship!sex. ADAMA: Oh goodie, I love ship!sex.
	LEE: You should step down so we can find an interim president. ZAREK: No. LEE: Then I'll pull out my military experience to explain why you need to. It'll be really sexy. FANS: THAT'S REALLY SEXY. ZAREK: Fine. Maybe it's time to move on from this unrequited love anyway. After all, it's so very like me to give up the presidency when I've wanted it and fought so hard for it since season 1 and finally got it. LEE: Excellent. I'll start looking for a candidate, then, since I have no one in mind. Absolutely no one!
	WRITER 1: You know what we should do? Waste half an episode building suspense over something that isn't suspenseful in the least! C'mon, it'll be fun. WRITER 2: Okay! How about a search for an interim president that will inevitably conclude with Lee? LEE: Help me search for candidates! ROMO: I see dead cats.
	TIGH: How do you find the hub? CAPRICA-SIX/ELLEN: Do you love me? TIGH: Well, since you're on your knees in front of me and all... I am totally trippin', man. Maybe I overdid those shrooms... FANS: Are they supposed to be this confusing?
	MISSING RAPTOR: Hi guys. A dead guy jumped me here. He's beginning to smell. RACETRACK: Ew.
	ADAMA: This is the book I gave my president! TIGH: We have the jump coordinates of the raptor. Oh, and Zarek left you a note and some flowers. ADAMA: How romantic. Let's go find my president so I can try that on her.
	ROMO: I'm gonna spew a lot of psychological BS and hint ever-so-cleverly that you might be handed the presidency. LEE: Sigh. Can we get to the part where I'm the president yet? Although, to be fair, I am in a ton of scenes this episode, as evidenced by my beautiful face appearing in practically every other screencap. GALACTICA: *jumps away* LEE: Would this be a good time to develop abandonment issues?
	RAPTORS: We found a bunch of baseship and resurrection hub debris. And nuclear weapon radiation. ADAMA: Clearly that means my president must still be alive. Keep looking! TIGH: The rest of the crew has their asses hanging in the wind. That's no good, I'm not really an ass man, see. ADAMA: Sigh. So picky.
	ZAREK: Adama is totally blowing us off. And not in the good way, either. QUORUM: Blah blah blah blah blah!!1 LEE: Still not president...
	ROMO: Seriously, you can't rule out every single facial cleanser there is. Pores shouldn't be so picky. They're pores. LEE: Your opinion isn't really important to me; I'm just using you as a stepping stone in my political career. ROMO: I still see dead cats. LEE: And I'm still not president...
	ADAMA: Tell me about my president's health! I need to show the fans how much I care about her. COTTLE: Since this is BSG, I guess I should say something grave now. Oh, btw, I ran some tests on Caprica-Six, but I can't tell you what I found on screen.
	ADAMA: Guess what? TIGH: You've decided to join me in my alcoholism so we can drink ourselves into oblivion together yet still remember our womanly woes? ADAMA: No. The guards told me they found the little penguin boxers I gave you in the Six's cell. Plus, Cottle says she's pregnant. TIGH: I may only have one eye, but it expresses terror just as well as two eyes can. ADAMA: Let's engage in a sexy, old-men scuffle. ADAMA AND TIGH: *engage in sexy, old-men scuffle* MODEL SHIP: *breaks again* ADAMA: I love you. TIGH: I love you too.
	ADAMA: Send more raptors out to look for my president. KARA: Dude, that's like asking them to go steal Colonel Tigh's whiskey while he's asleep and then poke him in the eyesocket. ADAMA: Do it anyway. I'm trying to show the fans how much I love my president, you know.
	ROMO: You're just being silly about this whole Roslin thing, you know. ADAMA: I value your opinion way more than Saul's or Kara's, so I guess you're right. ROMO: Actually it was my dead cat's idea. Sine qua non, bitch.
	ADAMA: I don't wanna be in command anymore. Cause I'm too in luuuurve. LEE: I am beautifully unimpressed. See how the casually unbuttoned top of my shirt stretches over my chiseled pecs. FANS: *lick* LEE: Still not president...
	ROMO: It will be so suspenseful if I write down the name of the perfect interim president and then hide it from view for the whole scene. So suspenseful! DEAD CAT: Meow! ROMO: I see and talk to dead cats. LEE: I just wanted to wear this sexy red shirt for my Long and Inspiring Speech later in this scene. ROMO: What's up, Mr. President? LEE: OMGYAY FINAL — I mean, what? My name was never on that list. ROMO: Whatever, congrats, man. Now I'm gonna shoot you, kay? LEE: Why? ROMO: Cause someone who wasn't you killed a cat that wasn't mine. Make sense? LEE: Long and Inspiring Speech.
	LEE: My name is Leland. FANS: OMGWTFLOL. ADAMA: I was watching anime and singing drunk karaoke that day. Seemed like a good idea at the time, sorry. LEE: I'm the president now. Finally. Who's surprised? FANS: US. We're really surprised. Really.
	ADAMA: You're the only man I can trust to command this ship. TIGH: What? I frakked that Six, remember? ADAMA: So did I, that's how I know you're ready. Also, give that murderous cylon that looks just like the one who shot me her daughter back.
	LEE: Look, Romo, I got you a new pet. JAKE: *has flea* LEE: *picks it out* ROMO: I think I prefer dead pets.
	LEE: I am the president and I order you not to commit suicide. ADAMA: Just in case someone slept through all 3.4 seasons of the show, I gotta make something clear: I love my president.
	KARA AND LEE: We're like, Adama's kids. Incestuous ones. ADAMA: I look sharp in a flight suit, don't I? My president's gonna love this get-up. Anyway, see ya. KARA AND LEE: Who needs dialogue when we can exchange Meaningful Looks of Worry and Love? FANS: Not you! KARA AND LEE: *Meaningful Look of Worry and Love* FANS: *swoon*
	ATHENA: *sings lullaby* HERA: Even the back of my head is creepy. I am just that good.
	GALACTICA: *jumps away* ADAMA: Man, I really hope she gets here before I finish this book, otherwise I will be SOL.

The end.

I have a question. Who's read City of Bones? I know a lot of you guys hated Cassie/DT, but I loved DT and have no real opinion on Cassie either way. I bought the book just before I came to China and have since gotten 3/4 of the way through. The main male character, Jace? is JUST LIKE DT!DRACO. seriously. I don't say that in an "omg Cassie plagiarised again, lol" way, more of a "the similarities make me eyeroll sometimes but I still cannot help loving him to death so it's okay" way. And I do love him, he's blond and sarcastic and damaged and dangerous and vulnerable and full of himself and sexy and so Draco. He even loves like Draco does: completely and hopelessly. :| It's almost like DT!H/D. The book itself is actually pretty interesting, if strange, and I like it so far. There's even an Abbadon in it, lol. Anyway, I'm curious: if you've read it, what did you think?

Oh, and for the record, getting utterly drunk and crashing a random party at a restaurant where the Chinese people are all "omg people from America/Africa/France omg"? So much fun. XD >.<

Man, I should find a cute Chinese boy for the summer or something.

Comments

[bogart69.livejournal.com]

"Man, I should find a cute Chinese boy for the summer or something." heheh yeah you should.. Nothing wrong with that.

I didnt watch last weeks BSG yet, did you see it ?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

There are plenty to choose from, I guess, but I'm always hanging out with my cousin and this other big dude. They're probably intimidating. *laughs* The Chinese boys at the bars won't actually talk to me, though they do stare a lot and one of them did grab my hand at one point while I was dancing next to him, lol.

I did! You might not want to look too closely at this post if you're afraid of spoilers, since it's full of screencaps of 4x08 and all.

[jeremybrettfan.livejournal.com]

WIN.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*G* Thank you!

[pennyfeline.livejournal.com]

I can't even quote my favorite lines, because there are just too many. I was laughing from beginning to end. Awesome job and SPOT ON! *snort*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hey, I remember you. XD Glad you enjoyed this one, thank you! :D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Yay! Will read it in the morning when I'm properly awake. :)

[shelma32.livejournal.com]

That was sooo funny!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*beams* Glad you liked it! :D

[arielmoondance.livejournal.com]

You Rock!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

YOU rock. <3

[mandee-jayne.livejournal.com]

I had to seriously control my urge to giggle loudly because I'm at work on my lunch break and don't want strange looks.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I am unrepentant. XD

Thank you for the comment!

[(Anonymous)]

I really need to read this comm more often. 'Scuse me, I have to go wipe the tears off my face now.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

You should just get an LJ. ;) In any case, glad you enjoyed!

[dramaticgrl.livejournal.com]

LOL

Awesome picspam! :D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you so much!

[mf_luder_xf]

You know that girl who everyone thought was a cylon even before she brought back the cylon baseship that kidnapped the president? She's the CAG now.

Yeah, I noticed that. I guess once she said she was still on the President's side and let slip a little crazy rhetoric, she was ok again.

FANS: *lick*
LEE: Still not president…

LOLZ!!

KARA AND LEE: We're like, Adama's kids. Incestuous ones.

Well, that's nothing new these days. ;-)

HERA: Even the back of my head is creepy. I am just that good.

I totally agree!! I thought the whole humming was leading to something...and then, no. *sadface*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'd forgotten just how much sway Roslin's got, I guess.

They probably didn't have time for Hera in this ep, what with all the Lee. *laughs* Maybe next ep.

I'm glad you enjoyed! :D

[anastashial.livejournal.com]

LEE: Would this be a good time to develop abandonment issues?

Giggles!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Heee, thanks! And also, your icon is gorgeous. *_*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I just can't get enough of Lee, huh? XD

[ender839.livejournal.com]

My personal favorite line:

KARA: Dude, that's like asking them to go steal Colonel Tigh's whiskey while he's asleep and then poke him in the eyesocket.

I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Thank you!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*g* Thank you! I rather liked that line myself, though part of me wonders if Tigh would even notice if someone poked him in the eyesocket, lol. -.-

[stiletto-freek.livejournal.com]

If it is possible to get cramps from laughing..I AM ON MY WAY THERE.

ROFL..THIS WAS H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S DUDE.

TOO MANY TO QUOTE..BUT
he guards told me they found the little penguin boxers I gave you in the Six's cell. Plus, Cottle says she's pregnant.
In the store they told us that those were rabbits..IDK.

thanks for sharing.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahahha SORRY. XD *unrepentant*

lol! If they weren't, I'm sure he's got a pair of rabbit boxers too. ;)

Thank you for the comment! and your icon totally makes me lol. XD

[firstlady1408.livejournal.com]

LMFAO!!! FAB!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you!

[pangea-maru.livejournal.com]

These are hysterical! :)

TIGH: I may only have one eye, but it expresses terror just as well as two eyes can.

ROFLMAO! This is perfect...

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I have so much love for Tigh's left eye. *laughs*

Thank you!

[encyclops.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha, I LOVE this.

"My creepie!" :D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you like it, thank you!

Hahha, "creepie" sounds way too cute for Hera. -.-

[csiangel.livejournal.com]

LOL! This is hilarious! :-D

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you thought so, thank you! :D

[chaneystarr.livejournal.com]

*can't look at your picspam yet because I STILL NEED TO WATCH IT WOE!* Maybe tonight. XD

I actually gave in and read City of Bones and actually ended up enjoying it. I need to get the second one, which just came out. Yes, he is exceedingly like Draco, which is why I think I snickered my way through it.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

It's been up for almost a WEEK now and you still haven't watched it? FAIL. :P yes, yes, watch it tonight.

Yeah, I thought about picking up the second one too, but didn't cause it was hardcover and I wanted to buy some other books too. Now I kind of wish I had.

It makes me eyeroll a little that she can't write her characters any other way, it seems, but I love him so so so so much. And WTF at the sibling thing, that was awful. :(

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

Oh, the kids. No one expresses UST like Kara and Lee. And look at all that delightful sexy Lee! Who cares if his plot is strange and randomesque, he's PRETTY.

Also, totally digging the idea of President/CAG sex, but I'm a little one track.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. I was telling my friend the other day, their UST doesn't get resolved even when they DO have sex, like in Unfinished Business, and that's almost impossible to do. wah. I was pretty happy about Lee being in practically every other scene too, yeah. especially in that red shirt. XD

Heh, I bet now that he's president he can visit the Galactica more often and no one will say anything. XDD

[your-downfall.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, oh man, this was absolutely hilarious. Romo's "lines" were the ones that made me laugh the most, I think. "I see dead cats." Read x infinity. ;)

(Found you through battlestar_blog

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahahha! I'm still undecided about Romo's character, but I love poking fun at how crazy he is. XD

Thank you!

[themadfish.livejournal.com]

*cackles through the whole thing*

Poor dead cat. And you would think someone would smell the dead cat in the bag and ask about it.

Also, I can only understand about 1/3 of what Romo is saying. I suck with accents.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, RIGHT? Unless his bag is like, air-tight, in which case it would have been even more gross when Lee opened it. X(

Yeah, I had to reply some of his lines a few times to get them, but for the most part they don't matter anyway, just a bunch of psychology blather.

[lurkrealclose.livejournal.com]

OMG,that's great! Lee's pores! LOL

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Heheheee thank you! I've always thought he's too pretty to not take good care of his pores. ;)

[bonita810.livejournal.com]

Yey for getting wasted and ending up in a random party!! Sounds fun. Time to find a cute Chinese boy for the summer! ;)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I know, the problem is I'm always hanging out with my cousin (who's a big black guy, ironically) and this other big dude, so none of the boys will actually talk to me, lol. whatever, I'll figure something out if I see one I like.

[lallipoo.livejournal.com]

Ugh, that pic of Lee in the purplish collared shirt is so hot.

Still haven't watched BSG -_-

OK, ignoring blond, but "sarcastic and damaged and dangerous and vulnerable and full of himself and sexy"? and add father issues?

ugh ugh.

why is that kind of character SO attractive?

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. You should see when he's actually WALKING and TALKING in it. so so so sexy.

ugh what is wrong with you. :(

Yeah, he has father issues, lol. I don't know why he's so attractive, he just IS. I thought you liked half-evil bastards! Not that he is, at all, but he has that attitude sometimes.