tracy_loo_who | Birthday Ficlet: Harry Potter and the Creepy Angel Fanboy (Dean/Castiel, Harry/Draco, PG-13)

T minus 1 hour, and this is what I've been doing to pass the time. (Very) quick ficlet written for

starlitshore on the occasion of her birthday, which was actually four days ago because I am a slacker friend. Happy birthday, bb, I love you like Draco loves Harry, except without the uncomfortable sexual urges. ♥

Title: Harry Potter and the Creepy Angel Fanboy
Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~1,700
Spoilers: SPN 6.02 - Two and a Half Men
Summary: As it turns out, Castiel is a Harry/Draco shipper.

One year without a single glimpse of tan trenchcoat, and in the end all it takes to get Castiel's feathery ass back down to earth is the release of the last Harry Potter movie.

Dean is with Lisa and Ben in the mile-long queue at the cinema, surrounded by Harrys and Hermiones and Rons and Snapes (and a couple of Umbridges), when Castiel appears beside him to say into his ear, "Dean, I need your help."

No one gets accidentally shot or stabbed, but it's a close call. "Jesus!" Dean hisses as he jerks back to put some space between himself and Castiel. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Castiel frowns slightly and repeats, "I need your--"

"I heard you the first time," Dean snaps, "but would it have killed you to say, 'hey there, long time no see, how've you been'?"

"It would not have killed me," Castiel answers with the air of one who's simply humoring Dean. "But it would not have been truthful. It has been very little time since I last saw you."

Dean's heart is still hammering with adrenaline, and he swallows as he takes a moment to pause and really look at Castiel. He looks exactly the same -- so rumpled, so Cas -- and suddenly Dean's heart is hammering with something besides the adrenaline. "It's been a year, Cas," is all he says. He tries not to sound accusatory.

But Castiel just shakes his head. "I saw you just last week, with the shapeshifter child."

"You've been stalking me?"

"I have never taken photos of you through your window," Castiel tells him solemnly.

Dean tries his best not to smile, he really does, but in the end a corner of his lips lifts anyway and he can't even find it in himself to be mad at Cas for not stopping in to say hi. "Well, whatever it is you need, can it wait a few hours? I'm kinda in the middle of something here."

For the first time since he got here, Castiel seems to notice Lisa and Ben, standing wordlessly off to the side and eyeing him warily. "I apologize," he says to them, though his eyes slide back over to Dean. "It must be now."

"Why?" Dean demands.

"Because they're both here now," Castiel explains, tone heavy with that sense of import he's so good at conveying. "Harry and Draco."

"Um. Who?"

Castiel flashes him an impatient look. "Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Have you not read the books or seen the last six movies?"

Dean just blinks and wonders what the hell happened to Castiel in the past year that knocked so many marbles loose. "There are people here dressed up as them, but they are not here," he says flatly. "You know why? 'Cause they're fictional characters in a fictional book series, Cas."

"That's what people say about you and Sam," Castiel points out, and even though he doesn't shrug, Dean can hear it in his voice.

Dean can feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. "So, let me get this straight. You're telling me Harry Potter is real."

"Yes."

"And he and Draco Malfoy are both here. Right now."

"Yes." Castiel seems pleased that Dean has finally understood.

"And you need my help doing what, exactly?" Dean asks skeptically.

"Avoiding what has been written."

And again, Dean is lost. "What do you mean? What's been written?"

With a slightly sour expression, Castiel replies, "The epilogue."

"I didn't like it either," Ben offers from somewhere around Dean's elbow.

Castiel favors him with an approving look. "We must change it."

"How?" Dean asks, even though he knows he'll regret it.

***

Turns out Chuck wasn't the only prophet making a profit (heh, Dean thinks privately) off of other folks' lives. It also turns out Castiel is a Harry/Draco shipper.

They're both here in the U.S., he explains -- Harry to escape the fame and Draco to escape the infamy -- but neither knows about the other and this is the only time their paths will cross. Even so, the cinema is huge, and their paths need that extra little nudge to actually cross.

Castiel claims that it's important for the fate of the world, but Dean doesn't believe him because hello, shipper. Still, he agrees to help, if only out of curiosity.

It won't take much, Castiel assures him; all they have to do is make sure Harry and Draco sit next to each other during the movie.

Which is why, fifteen minutes later, Dean finds himself watching Castiel vandalize the popcorn machines as discreetly as possible.

The pointy blond dude Castiel pointed out as Draco Malfoy doesn't look any more Malfoyish than the couple of other guys dressed up as him, but whatever, Dean takes Castiel's word for it. While Castiel holds up the line at the concession counter, where Draco is waiting impatiently, Dean makes a show of rushing out of the theater in a hurry. When he passes Harry (who, unlike Draco, didn't manage to cheat his way to the front of the ticket line, and god Dean hopes he didn't get the wrong Harry) he shoves a ticket at him with a muttered, "Something came up, take this and enjoy the movie."

So Harry gets into the cinema in time to run into Draco at the concession counter, and Dean goes all the way out to the parking lot to wait by his car for Castiel to come out and tell him their work is done. But when Castiel appears beside him, he's got this frown on his face and he says, "Harry went to the bathroom and Draco gave up waiting for popcorn."

Dean just rolls his eyes.

***

Fortunately, Draco chooses a relatively isolated spot of the theater to sit in, so there are empty seats on either side of him. Unfortunately, he and Harry are both early enough that the theater hasn't filled up yet.

Dean takes the emptiest section, a few rows behind Draco, and reserves about eight seats all to himself. So when Harry gets there and asks if this seat or that seat is taken, Dean's answer is always a glib, "Yep, sorry." He thinks Harry pauses and gives him an odd look, but it's dark enough that Harry probably can't recognize him as the guy who gave him a ticket outside.

Eventually Harry wanders off to search for another seat, but whenever he closes in on an empty one, it's suddenly not empty anymore because Castiel is there, seated demurely and waiting for the previews to begin. This happens three or four times.

Finally, finally, he approaches Draco, and from where he is Dean can sort of see him begin to say something wearily, until he starts with surprise and stares.

Draco's head snaps up and he hisses something, which in turn makes Harry shove his glasses up his nose in an indignant gesture. They argue in low voices for a few moments, but in the end Harry takes the seat beside Draco and sits, even more stiffly than Castiel would with an angel sword up his ass.

That's when Castiel appears beside Dean, who tells him, "Seat's taken, buddy."

Castiel glances over at him and hesitates. "I can leave when Lisa and Ben arrive, if that's what you--"

"Hey, dude, I was kidding." Dean's voice is a little gentler this time, and he nudges Castiel in the side with an elbow. "You can stay."

***

Over the course of the movie Harry relaxes into his seat, and occasionally he and Draco bicker quietly, but it seems to get less and less hostile. At one point Draco even says something that makes Harry laugh out loud, which earns them several glares.

Castiel spends more time watching Harry and Draco than he does watching the movie, and Dean spends more time watching Castiel than he does anything else. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, but with Sam alive and Castiel now back as well, Dean feels lighter than he has in over a year. It's a quiet sort of contentment that seeps into his bones, the sort that makes him not even mind too much when, toward the end of the movie, Castiel suddenly slips his hand into Dean's. His hand feels tense and just a little damp, and Castiel keeps his eyes fixed firmly ahead, so Dean just smirks and squeezes a bit. He glances over at Lisa, two seats away on his other side with Ben sandwiched between them, and she gives him a knowing, half-amused look.

Dean doesn't let go of Castiel's hand until the credits start rolling and Harry and Draco get up. After what looks like an awkward sort of goodbye, Harry leaves and then there are too many people standing up and milling around for Dean to keep either of them in sight.

Instead he turns to Castiel and asks, "Well, they sat next to each other, mission accomplished, right? You wanna come over for a drink or something?"

Castiel spares a glance in Lisa's direction before answering quietly, "I'd like that."

On their way out of the theater, they spot Harry some ways away, apparently having thought better of leaving. He marches back up to Draco and stammers something, which makes Draco eye him up and down with a slow smirk. After a brief discussion during which Harry shoves his glasses up his nose several times in a nervous, fidgety motion, they end up leaving together.

Dean nudges Castiel. "Who do you think is gonna bottom?"

"Harry," Castiel answers firmly.

"You think?" Dean is skeptical. "He doesn't seem like he really knows what he's doing, and contrary to popular belief those are the guys who usually top. Too nervous to bottom."

"He's not nervous about sex," Castiel argues. "I'm sure he can be quite compelling in the bedroom."

"So compelling he lets Draco screw him into the mattress," Dean replies wryly.

"I believe the term is 'bottoming from the top'," Castiel informs him huffily, with air quotes for emphasis.

Dean can't help it -- he laughs. "Yeah? You know something about that, Cas?" He fits himself into Castiel's personal space as he asks, and Castiel turns to him, Harry and Draco clearly forgotten.

"I would like to," he replies, and Dean figures he deserves a kiss for getting the answer right.

fin.

So, who the fuck is excited for tonight? :D

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Birthday Ficlet: Harry Potter and the Creepy Angel Fanboy (Dean/Castiel, Harry/Draco, PG-13)

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