HOW CAN I EVEN

[tracy_loo_who]

FOR THE RECORD, I LOVE CASTIEL APPROXIMATELY
THIS MUCH
EXCEPT MORE. LIKE, INFINITELY MORE. THE NUMBER OF HYDROGEN PARTICLES IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE MORE.

I HAVEN'T GOTTEN SO WORKED UP OVER AN EPISODE SINCE THE END AND I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS FUCKING HAPPY SINCE FREE TO BE YOU AND ME. Jesus Christ it's been a long time since we've gotten some Cas and SEEING HIM JUST MAKES MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE UGH IT IS PATHETIC BUT I DON'T EVEN CARE. SEEING HIM TALK TO DEAN AND SAM! BASICALLY THE GREATEST THING EVER IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT THEY SAID I JUST WANT THE THREE OF THEM TO HAVE CONVERSATIONS TOGETHER FOREVER AND CALL EACH OTHER FRIENDS AND BE PROTECTIVE AND INTENSE AND THROW AROUND POP CULTURE REFERENCES THAT

JFKDLSJFKDLSJFKDSJFJDLSJFDSL OKAY

BEGINNING

DEAN HAS SEXUAL DREAMS ABOUT ANGELS. FACT. (Also I had this bizarre moment when I wondered if she was Paris Hilton. Oops.)


AWKWARD!DEAN IS THE VERY CUTEST, ILU.


Not a huge fan of the character but even Anna is cute here, awww. ♥ Whatever her motives may be, I do think she has a soft spot and a certain fondness for Dean. Then again, WHO DOESN'T?


JUST HAVE THIS HERE SHOT OF DEAN'S HAND NEAR HIS HEART WHILE HE'S TALKING ABOUT CAS, OKAY?


DEAN IS SO I DO NOT COMPREHEND AT ALL WHAT OVER ANNA'S SARCASTIC "CAS, RIGHT, NOW THERE'S A FRIEND YOU CAN COUNT ON." BY THIS POINT HIS TRUST IN CASTIEL RUNS SO DEEP HE WON'T EVEN QUESTION IT AHHHH OTP.


Anna keeps making these jabs at Cas, and Dean DOES NOT CARE AT ALL, he just cuts straight to "where have you been?" and doesn't even spare a moment to doubt Cas. Even after he wakes up and is obviously very worried about Anna because his protective instincts are kicking in and he has been given plenty of reason to mistrust Cas, he thinks about it and GOES TO CAS ANYWAY. EVEN THOUGH HE CLEARLY KNOWS ANNA WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO. EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS CAS WOULD BE BAD NEWS FOR HER. BECAUSE HE TRUSTS CASTIEL. Contrast this to the year before when he spent all that time hiding from Castiel and telling Uriel he'd go to Hell before giving Anna up. fjkdsljfksd TRUST TRUST TRUST, IT IS MY NEW FAVORITE WORD.


CAS'S BLOWING-OUT-LIGHTS ENTRANCE IS SO FUCKING BADASS, GUH. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED SINCE HIS VERY FIRST AND MOST EPIC ENTRANCE? I GOT SHIVERS JUST FROM THAT LITTLE SIMILARITY. OR MAYBE IT WAS FROM SEEING CASTIEL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS. JFKLDSJFLKSDJFKLSDJFLSKD ALSO, the lights look a bit like wings on Anna, which is cool!


CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. PLEASE JUST STAND THERE ON MY SCREEN LOOKING ALL SERIOUS FOREVER SLDKFJLOMFG I JUST WANT TO HUG EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS BACK FINALLY OMG CAS. I'VE FUCKING MISSED YOU, YOU FUCKER.


Dean doesn't even accompany Cas there to meet Anna, hahahahahhahahaaa. THIS IS HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS HIM TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS. FJKDLSJFDSK THESE TWO ARE GOING TO KILL ME, GIVING ME ASTHMA. BUT. SO. Clearly they talked about it and Dean wanted to trust Anna but since CAS didn't, Dean listened to him. No, really, he listened to him, like a friend and an equal. Castiel says, "I wouldn't let them come." When does anyone ever "let" or "not let" the Winchesters do anything? If they really wanted to be there, there's no fucking way they wouldn't be there. But they aren't, so obviously they decided to trust Castiel and I CANNOT STOP SAYING IT, TRUST TRUST TRUST.


ALSO, CAS PROFILE. JUST AS GORGEOUS AS I REMEMBER.


CASTIEL HAS EXPERIENCED HEAVEN'S PERSUASION. His tone gets a bit darker on those last two words in a way that MAKES ME SHIVER. fjdslfsk I'm really really glad they brought this up again, because that must have been highly fucking traumatic for Cas and I hate it when they just gloss over things that should have at least some sort of lasting impact. This just highlights how epic Castiel's leap of faith in Lucifer Rising was, and I hope, when Dean listened to Anna talk about being tortured, he was thinking of Castiel and how Heaven had come so close to reprogramming him but ultimately couldn't because CASTIEL LOVED HIM TOO MUCH. Uhm. Well, obviously I hope this, but. fjdkslfjdskl SORRY I CANNOT BE MORE COHERENT.


He seems genuinely pained that he betrayed Anna, and his "it was a mistake" sounds very sincere. Aww, Cas must have kicked himself over it secretly.


Still, he is going to protect his boys and no amount of guilt is gonna get in the way of that. WHAT A FIERCE MOTHERFUCKER.


Hahha he can see through her clothes to her knife, which means he can see through Dean's clothes to.. yes.


I EVEN LOVE THE WAY HE STANDS. SO STRAIGHT. SO CAS.


JUST ANOTHER CAP OF CAS BEING A BAMF BECAUSE GOOD LORD LOOK AT THIS FUCKING ANGEL FJDSLJFKDLSFJDSLDKSLSLDKF UGH FAVORITE EVER.


CAS BB YOU DON'T NEED TO COMPENSATE FOR ANYTHING BUT I'M GLAD YOURS IS BIGGER ANYWAY. \O/


This looks like a moment of almost-vulnerability to me, I dunno. Right after she says "Sam Winchester has to die." He's been pretty emotionless for this whole scene except for that flicker of guilt, but now that he knows she's out to kill Sam it takes him by surprise and there's that moment of oh god Sam. Which. LOVE. I mean, you guys know I am all about the Dean/Castiel OTP forever, but SAM. I WANT CASTIEL AND SAM TO BE FRIENDS EVEN MORE THAN I WANT CASTIEL AND DEAN TO SEX IT UP WITH THEIR EYES. I want him to be a part of their family, like Bobby is, and he's sort of there already, but I want MORE. lolol I swear this isn't meant to sound entitled but. THE THREE OF THEM BEING BFFS IS THE BEST THING EVER.


Anna says they have no choice, and Castiel MOVES FORWARD THREATENINGLY. INSTINCTIVELY!


ANGRY CAS IS FUCKING ANGRY. LOLOL HE'S LIKE AN ANGRY MOTHER HUGGY BEAR.


HI THERE MISHA'S NAME ILU. I LOVE THIS SHOT. I LOVE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. EVERYTHING.


Anna? Has a good fucking point, to be honest. And Castiel knows it. Her plan is the more "strategically successful" one, as Misha said.



PLEASE NOTICE THAT CASTIEL CAN BARELY EVEN SAY THE WORDS "KILL SAM." HE STOPS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD LIKE THE VERY THOUGHT IS TOO UTTERLY HORRIFYING TO HIM BEFORE FORCING IT OUT. SIGH, THIS ANGEL. And he desperately tries to find faults with her plan. Desperately.


He even has to turn away from Anna talking about "scattering Sam's cells across the universe" and take a few breaths and BLINK and grit his teeth because IT PAINS HIM TOO MUCH.


WHY SO FUCKING PRETTY, CAS?


~SAM IS MY FRIEND~ ~SAM IS MY FRIEND~ ~SAM IS MY FRIEND~ ALDJFHKLALSKJSJDH ALL THAT TENSION BETWEEN THEM AND ANGER ON BOTH SIDES BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT THEY ARE FRIENDS AND THEY HAVE EACH OTHER'S BACKS UNCONDITIONALLY AND CASTIEL IS LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF DEAN AND SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY, I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE THREE.


Maybe too late. Yeah, kinda, Cas. If you'd changed about ten minutes before you did in Lucifer Rising, Lucifer wouldn't have risen. :( But it's okay, we forgive you, and more importantly, the Winchesters forgive you. AND LOVE YOU. BECAUSE YOU ARE THEIR FRIEND. ♥♥♥♥♥♥


We've been through much together, lololol SAME LINE HE USED ON DEAN. PLZ LEARN SOME NEW ONES, CAS.


BUT YOU COME NEAR SAM WINCHESTER AND I'LL KILL YOU. GODDAMN HE DOES NOT MINCE WORDS. AND HE IS NOT FUCKING KIDDING. SO ABSOLUTE IN HIS LOVE FOR THEM. SO ABSOLUTE. AND PRETTY. *COUGH* Also, his eye twitches just a bit narrower and his jaw is restless like he just wants to snarl at her and it DOES THINGS TO ME.


I don't even know why, but it always breaks my heart whenever Castiel looks up at the sky like he just wants his daddy to tell him everything's going to be okay. D:


HAND!PORN TIME, FOLKS. \O/ ALSO, WRIST!PORN. I FIND HIS WRISTS ETERNALLY FASCINATING.



THIS IS BASICALLY HOW THIS CONVERSATION WENT:
DEAN: I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
CASTIEL: IT'S TRUE.
DEAN: OKAY, I BELIEVE IT.
BOYS. I COULDN'T LOVE YOU MORE IF I TRIED.



CASTIEL IS ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN WHO GLENN CLOSE IS LOLOLOLOL. LOLOLOL. LOLOLL LOL. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH except he's always just glossed over all of Dean's pop culture references and everything else he didn't understand but now he actually wants to understand exactly what Dean is saying and I FIND THAT ENDEARING OKAY. ALSO HILARIOUS BECAUSE HE IS SO EARNEST. AND BECAUSE IT'S JUST LIKE IN FANFIC.


CASTIEL IS CONFUSED AND SLIGHTLY CONCERNED BECAUSE ANNA IS NOT REALLY A PSYCHO BITCH WHO LIKES TO BOIL RABBITS, NOT TECHNICALLY...



Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam. ASKING FOR CASTIEL'S OPINION. ASKING FOR CASTIEL'S OPINION ON WHETHER OR NOT HE SHOULD DIE. BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIENDS, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED. FRIENDS! WHO GO TO EACH OTHER FOR ADVICE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, BOYS.


DEAN ALSO LOOKS TO CAS FOR HIS OPINION. I JUST. YOU GUYS, I JUST LOVE HOW MUCH THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT HIS OPINION. IT MEANS HE'S REALLY ONE OF THEM.


Of course Anna has a point, and a pretty good fucking point at that. But Castiel doesn't want to say it and who does he look to FIRST? Who does he care about and want to protect most? Oh, OTP, how I love you. While I do think Castiel loves Sam for Sam, I think it's pretty clear he also loves Sam for Dean. Dean loves Sam, so how could Castiel not?


He also draws some strength from Dean, enough to tell Sam "no" even though they all know it's a lie.


SHE'S UH, GLENN CLOSE. FJDKLSJFKLDSJFKLDSJFKLDSFJDKS BEST LINE EVER AND RAISED EYEBROW AND EVERYTHING AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH CAS I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. ALWAYS WITH THE LEARNING FROM DEAN. NOT ONLY THE JOKE BUT HOW TO USE IT TO DIFFUSE A TENSE SITUATION AND GOD YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE HIM TRYING TO FIT IN AND HUMANIZE HIMSELF THROUGH LITTLE THINGS LIKE THIS AND IT IS SO AMAZING.


I LOVE SAM'S SIGH OVER CAS BECOMING MORE LIKE DEAN. XDDDDDDD


There is a moment here, a fraction of a second, where Misha looks straight at the camera and pauses and for some reason it gives me chills. (The good kind.)


Kill her first, eh? When he had the chance earlier, Cas went soft and let her off with that threat. But now that he's seen his boys again, he's extra extra protective and it's steeled his resolve and HE WILL TAKE EVERY PRECAUTION FOR THEM. Aww.


Castiel speaking Enochian will never not be hot as fuck. Just sayin'.


DEAN THINKS SO TOO. BUT IT IS TIME TO FOCUS ON MORE IMPORTANT THINGS, UNFORTUNATELY.


First bit of Cas!whump! \o/ Btw, I LOVE THAT LITTLE CURL OF HAIR AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. IT IS UNSPEAKABLY ADORABLE.


Worried!Sammy! ♥


Worried!Dean! ♥


Heh, I love his nose scrunch from every angle. :D


THERE CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH WORRIED!DEAN OKAY.


PLEASE LOOK MORE DISGRUNTLED, BB.


I love it when Castiel thinks about shit. He does it so prettily.


Anna can't get to you because of ME. I am so proud of you, Cas. And HAH. I KNEW HE STILL HAD HIS HABIT OF NEEDING TO TALK TO DEAN FACE TO FACE. LITERALLY. :D



EYE!SEX EYE!SEX. But even more than the eye!sex, I JUST LOVE THAT THEY ARE HAVING CONVERSATIONS.


This is a terribly minor thing, but I love that Dean says, "They're our parents, Cas," almost like he knows that just using Castiel's name will help convey his emotion. Like he's using it to connect to Castiel, subconsciously. Ugh, I read way too much into this shit.


I STILL LOVE THAT THEY ARE HAVING CONVERSATIONS. SERIOUSLY. THIS WILL NEVER GET OLD.


Hahha Castiel thinks he won't give in to them if he doesn't look at them. Hahahha Cas. ♥


FINALLY GETTING EXASPERATED BY ALL THE REFERENCES THAT GO OVER HIS HEAD. AWWW. HE TRIED SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND LAST TIME BECAUSE HE CARES AND IT FRUSTRATES HIM THAT THERE'LL ALWAYS BE MORE THAT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND. AWW, CAS. AWWWW. ILU. IT'S OKAY, DEAN WILL TEACH THEM ALL TO YOU.


Castiel is obviously uncomfortable with being weakened, poor bb. Still not quite used to this losing-his-powers thing.


Dean walks up into his personal space and Castiel knows he's screwed (not in the good way). XD


Oh, Dean. You know that the closer you are to Cas, the weaker his resistance is, don't you? So OTP.


Castiel shakes his head but has already given in. Hahha this is so reminiscent of Dean persuading him during Lucifer Rising. Cas may win little arguments like who goes to meet Anna, but when something really matters to Dean, a pleading look from him will throw all of Heaven's persuasion and Castiel's own fears out the window because he is just so incapable of denying Dean anything and he knows it. I repeat: SO OTP.


I FIND THIS CAP HILARIOUS. Dean is looking straight at another week of constipation and his lips are pursed and Sam looks wary and CASTIEL'S FINGERS DO LOOK A LITTLE INTIMIDATING, I ADMIT. Also, I love that right before this, he gave the bag he packed to SAM to carry, lolololol. 'Cause clearly the sasquatch should be made to carry all their shit. XD


DEAN AND SAM WORRYING ABOUT CASTIEL AND RUNNING TO HIM IS BASICALLY MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD.


I'LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE.


HAHHA I LOVE HOW HE'S TRYING TO PLAY IT TOUGH RIGHT BEFORE HE PASSES OUT. SUCH A WINCHESTER THING TO DO. ♥


Okay, so when the preview clip came out EVERYBODY kept saying Dean was whispering "no no no no" here, when Castiel passes out, and I kept hearing "whoa whoa whoa whoa" and THIS IS STILL WHAT I HEAR. WHAT IS THE FINAL VERDICT? DO I HAVE TO MAKE A POLL OR SOMETHING?


MORE CAS!WHUMP. \O/


Mostly I just love how they're both all over him and Dean is clutching at his arm like he'll never let go. BOYS, you are the best.


HE TOOK CAS TO THE HONEYMOON SUITE. FJDKSLJFKSDLJFKSLD HE TOOK CAS TO THE HONEYMOON SUITE. FJKLSJFKLDFJKSLJFKDSLJS HE TOOK CAS TO THE HONEYMOON SUITE. OMG DEEEAN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. AND HE LOVES CAS SO MUCH. NO CRAPPY MOTEL BED FOR HIS CAS, OH NO. DEAN IS GONNA SET HIM UP AS COMFORTABLY (AND ROMANTICALLY) AS POSSIBLE. AND HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE IF SAM KNOWS IT. XD BY THE WAY, THIS ALSO MEANS THAT DEAN CARRIED CAS UP BY HIMSELF Y/Y? AND MADE SURE HE WOULDN'T BE DISTURBED NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE DEAN IS TOO PROTECTIVE TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH THE THOUGHT OF ANYONE GOING IN THERE WHILE HIS CAS IS UNCONSCIOUS AND VULNERABLE. ♥


SAM INQUIRING AFTER CASTIEL'S WELL-BEING. ♥


Dean, as Dean always does when something strikes a nerve, passes it off with a joke. AND THEN. TOUGH FOR A LITTLE NERDY DUDE WITH WINGS. HE WON'T EVEN CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT HIS LITTLE NERDY DUDE WITH WINGS WON'T BE OKAY. BECAUSE IT'S HIS LITTLE NERDY DUDE WITH WINGS. DEAN THINKS HE'S LITTLE! AND NERDY! OMG NERDY!CAS IS MY FAVORITE, AND NOW IT'S CANON. AND THE WINGS. OMG ALL OF THIS IS JUST SO CUTE I CANNOT EVEN STAND IT.


Ugh okay I'm only like a fourth of the way through the episode, with 77 caps already. FML. Before she went to bed vichan was like, "you should try to beat 115 caps," and I didn't think I'd get anywhere near that but clearly I'm more ridiculous than even I'd anticipated. /o\

But whatever, I LOVE THIS SHOW and I love how Sam is so freaking eager to meet his parents and Dean telling him to wait the fuck up and Sam being impatient and I love his stupid hair in this cap. XD


CUTEST COUPLE EVER. D:


Sammy how can you break my heart while CLEARLY CREEPING YOUR PARENTS OUT? LOL Sam. :(



This scene reminds me of when Sam first tried to shake Castiel's hand. awww.


Hahahahha I LOVE YOU, MARY. SORRY YOUR SON IS SUCH A CREEPER.


DEAN IS SO ALARMED AND EMBARRASSED OVER HIS BROTHER HITTING ON HIS MOTHER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SCENE.


SO HOW ARE YOU GUYS RELATED? YOU KNOW, UH, DISTANTLY. FJKDSLFJSLJDF PLEASE BE MORE AWKWARD YOU GUYS OMG.


What I heard was, "Angels are twice as strong as demons and have bigger dicks. Or at least, Cas does." XD In all seriousness, though, I love that Mary just instinctively trusts them despite her misgivings.


The fact that Dean is holding Castiel's long phallic object makes me unreasonably and immaturely happy.


This BAMF could kick both her boys' asses, trufax.


I cannot even express my love for this, DEAN AND SAM SITTING IN THE BACKSEAT OF THE IMPALA LIKE THE KIDS. Oh god this is PERFECT. I mean, except for the bit where John is freaking the fuck out, but whatever. Actually, even that is perfect, John yelling at them and Dean and Sam shutting the fuck up like good little children. XDDDD


Pissy!John is pissy. XD Dean's right, though, it doesn't take much time at all for him to snap into his "do whatever it takes" mode.


Oh, the irony of Sam defending John to John. NGL, this bit made my eyes moist. It's funny, Dean didn't seem so happy about being reminded of his dad in the last scene, and Sam's being the understanding, forgiving one here. Then again, I guess Dean doesn't really have any unresolved guilt (except, you know, for the part where John went to Hell for him and got tortured for 100 years, but uhhh) and Sam does. Anyway, I'm glad Sam got to say this to him somehow, even if John doesn't understand and gets his memory wiped later anyway.



Hahha Uriel has a type. Hahahhaha. ILU URIEL. And also, Anna you lying liar.


Dean must have so many memories of his mother, and all from when he was four or younger, and there's so much love and loss and want and it just. MAKES ME TEARY. They both want the same thing so so so badly but. ARGH, THIS SCENE. D:



It breaks my heart that Dean tries this again, tries to warn Mary. His failure to change things last time must still be hurting. And it also breaks my heart that Sam is, as he's been for so long now, the one who can't see any way out of this but the cold, hard one. But most of all, it breaks my heart that both of them wish they were never born. Oh, boys. I cannot even imagine life without you anymore, and nor can Cas.


Uhn, wow, enough of this emoting crap. Apparently they trade off Castiel's long phallic objects. XD


D: D: D: D: D: D:


Mostly, it's how Dean still yells for him while he's being strangled. D: D: D: D: D:


HOLY SHIT WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE MICHAEL ALREADY FJKDLSFJDSLKS HOLY SHIT. Or at least, I wouldn't have been if I hadn't seen the spoiler, but still. JOHN!MICHAEL. HOLY SHIT.


Uhm, suffice to say I am impressed. o.O Not so sorry to see Anna go since she's served her purpose on the show, but I am sad to see Julie go.


Just the right amount of awesome and creepy and terrifying and arrogant and strangely charming and HE IS PERFECT.


Free will is an illusion -- this whole spiel is almost exactly like what Stephen Hawking wrote in one of his books, I think, except he didn't wax poetic about anyone's destiny. :P But he said something about how impossible it was to predict what would happen from one moment to the next because it depended on the actions and reactions of every atom in the universe and this unpredictability is what gives rise to the illusion of free will. (I'm paraphrasing, obviously, I read this book in like high school.) I quite like the theory, actually, and the idea of free will only being an illusion doesn't bother me because really, all of life is an illusion created by the way our brains perceive things. If we perceive that we have free will, then it's as real as it's ever going to get, right? Ugh sorry it's almost 5 in the morning and I shouldn't be spewing existential shit. SORRY. CONTINUING ON.


I guess this Josses those Michael-burning-out-Dean's-soul fics. Oh well. I actually like the chemistry they've got, and how easily they can talk to each other, and how Michael's so good at stripping down Dean's defenses. And how CASUALLY COMFORTABLE Michael is with Dean's person. He doesn't even fix Dean's jacket, just.. touches it. Because he can? Because he's possessive?


SO STONED LOL. LOLOLOL. (But how did he know Sam and Dean were back? He can't locate them, right? And I doubt Michael told them or he could've just sent Cas back himself. Oh well.)


SAM CALLS HIM BY HIS FULL NAME, AWW. AND DEAN RUNS OVER SO QUICKLY AND GRABS ON SO TIGHTLY AND CALLS HIM A SON OF A BITCH IN THE FONDEST TONE EVER BECAUSE CLEARLY HE WAS FRETTING OMG LOVE.


I'M VERY SURPRISED. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA STONED. STONED.


I THINK HE ACTUALLY TRIES TO SMILE AT SAM BEFORE HE PASSES OUT? OMG CAS. OMG CAS.


Sam's instinct is to yell "whoa, you're okay!" as Cas passes out. I FIND THIS ADORABLE.


DEAN'S HAND ON HIS BACK. ♥


TEAM FREE WILL. JUST THE THREE OF THEM. JUST THE THREE OF THEM! OT3 OT3 OT3.


I LOVE HOW LONG DEAN AND SAM SPEND STARING AT CAS LYING PRONE ON THE BED. HEEE. Lying on DEAN'S bed, btw, since we all know Dean always sleeps closest to the door.




Sometimes I really feel like this show is building up to them saying yes. But other times I feel like they're building up to have Team Free Will come out victorious after all. I really don't know. But either way, Sam makes a good point.


HI CAS. And baby Dean. I'm so glad they brought this into the episode, Mary always telling Dean that angels are watching over him. God, just. SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW.


P.S. vichan, 116 caps! XD

...Also, I really really really hope Misha doesn't read my episode reviews. I AM USUALLY AT LEAST SORT OF MENTALLY SOUND OKAY. D: Going to hide under my blanket forever now brb.

Comments

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

OHMYGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOUR EPIC REVIEW IS EPIC!!!!!!!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS DAY TO BE OVER SO I CAN GO HOME AND WATCH THE WHOLE THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I ASSUME YOUR DAY IS OVER AND YOU'VE WATCHED IT NOW. OMG I JUST WANT TO WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

[hils.livejournal.com]

Hehe! I said pretty much exactly what you said in my review post, only yours is more detailed and coherant. Yes, more coherant. LOL!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahha if you think THIS is coherent, then you're in trouble. XD

[cheerful-earl.livejournal.com]

Posting tons of caps of the boys and squeeing over how ridiculously pretty they are and how AWESOME this show is *is* mentally sound. It's the only mentally sound thing to do! Trufax.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

But mentally unsound people think they're mentally sound, hmm...

[qthelights.livejournal.com]

Tttssk. Of course it's mentally sound. See your existential logic above. We believe you're sound, therefore you are ;)

And just as well because you do the BEST RECAPS EVER. I AM ALL ASQUEE.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Do you also believe I'm really, really rich? *g*

I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY THEM BB, THANK YOU.

[mrstotten.livejournal.com]

EVERYBODY kept saying Dean was whispering "no no no no" here, when Castiel passes out, and I kept hearing "whoa whoa whoa whoa" and THIS IS STILL WHAT I HEAR. WHAT IS THE FINAL VERDICT?

I'm going with Whoa

also BAMF Mary is AWESOME

and is it just a strange coincidence that the first episode Misha is is is the first one I've really enjoyed since 5.04!!!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

So far everyone who's commented on it has agreed that it's "whoa" so yay!

There are no such things as coincidences. :D

[tasty-boots.livejournal.com]

LsgjHROUG;zlHOG;UHZKDJGT;EHUGNSEGUI TEHGJZKHGIUTEGKNDHIKDKGIGUBDFGN.

OHMYFUCKINGGODYES. THIS IS JUST EXACTLY. UGIETGJKDLHGBINHDGKJH. YES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

THIS EPISODE. AND THEN THIS. AND OHMYGOD SO MUCH LOVE.

LZ;GJHDZGKJNDGKJUHZDG;OUZDJNBTUDHB.

OHMYGOD. I CAN'T EVEN. LOTGHZDKLJHGZDTO. ♥ ♥ ♥

[tracy.livejournal.com]

JFKLDSJFKDSL;FJSKDLJF I CAN'T EITHER ♥♥♥!

[ralucam.livejournal.com]

I so love your reviews!
I was so utterly happy to see Cas! And he was so awesome! And you're right, Dean totally entered Cas's personal space on purpose, knowing it will convince him. Whether he did it intentionally or from a subconscious instinct is not even important any more. He knows deep down it will work, he knows Cas is head over heels for him.
I'm glad Dean didn't tell Michael about Cas, it's obvious he would have burned him just like he did Anna, Dean just trusted Cas to find his own way back at him and he did!
Also, the "free will is an illusion" is clearly a lie, if it were, they wouldn't need them to say yes, the punishment with hell would be pointless, since nobody could be said to have made any choice, it's clearly a lie, choices always mattered in this show, I really, really hope they won't have Dean say yes. (I wonder if Raphael is incompetent, and that's why he destroyed his vessel, since Michael left John alright, or more likely Raphael just didn't give a shit about a simple human, whereas Michael needed John to continue the plan. I'm afraid he won't have any reason to care about fixing Dean, even if he did say now he would)Sorry for rambling.
In conclusion I love Castiel (and Dean and Sam, too)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I don't think he did it intentionally, Dean's not that manipulative with his friends. 'Sides, I like to think his subconscious instinct is to be closer ot Cas. XD

You're probably right about Michael and Cas, omg. Not that Cas would have stood a chance anyway, but the thought of Michael going in there while he's passed out to kill him is even worse. D: I can just imagine Dean fretting over what happened to Cas and whether he'd be able to get back and just. Yessssssssss.

Well, people can still make the choices they're destined to make. As long as they don't know that it's the choice they're going to make before they actually make it, it feels like free will.

Yeah, Raphael probably just doesn't care. I see Michael as more the Dean type -- no unnecessary killing/harming. He is a protector and caretaker at heart, perhaps?

I LOVE THEM TOO.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

It was creepy and yet SO FITTING at the same time, you know?

[stageira.livejournal.com]

OH HAI! I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR POST, ZOMMFG YOU CAN'T IMAGINE!
I EVEN POSTED ON MY LJ WONDERING WHERE IT WAS AND FEELING CRANKY! THIS IS WHAT YOU AND CASTIEL DO TO ME! :)

In conclusion: Your post is finally here, Castiel is back and ZOMG I need to watch it now! :)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

HAHHAHA SORRY THIS WAS LATE BUT GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT. IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE, WELL, 116 CAPS!

I ASSUME YOU'VE WATCHED IT BY NOW AND REJOICED.

[gloris.livejournal.com]

Your epic!review post never fails to bring a smile to my face :D :D :D

Young!Mary is so BAMF, I am so in love with them. Hopefully there will be more chance to see them, but if there isn't any, this episode did Mary & John a whole lots of justice XD

SO STONED LOL. LOLOLOL. (But how did he know Sam and Dean were back? He can't locate them, right? And I doubt Michael told them or he could've just sent Cas back himself. Oh well.)

Seeing that Dean & Sam returned to the same motel room and judging from the change of clothes, Cas probably spent some times in 1978 looking for them *hugs poor tired Cas*

TEAM FREE WILL FTW~!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Then it has served its purpose. :D

As much as I'd also love to see Mary and John again, I don't think they'd go back in time again. Both Dean and Sam have met them now, doing it again would probably be overkill. Alas, I love them.

Awwwww, now I want fic of Castiel wandering around in 1978 for days and days being all sad and lonely. Hahhaha I'm sure he's smarter than that, but. CAS. *hugs him too*

[maychorian.livejournal.com]

HOLY FLYING FUCK I LOVE ALL THEM SO MUCH.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

SO DO I OMGGGG.

[harper47.livejournal.com]

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love.

Your picspam reviews are the highlight of postSPN viewing. I agree with almost everything you posted. (The disagree is that I cringed a teeny, tiny bit during Sam's speech to John which felt awkward to me. JP does alot of things wonderfully well but he just lacks a little when scenes get deep and intense. He overacts if that makes any sense but other than that, this was a wonderful, wonderful episode. But this was coupled by amazing acting/chemistry between Dean/Mary and Dean/Michael. Those scenes blew everyone out of the acting water)

All 3 fighting together is what I wanted this season to be.

Squeezes picspam and show and hugs them tightly. Now scrolling back up to top of page to read your epic review again.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

SO MUCH LOVE.

You know, I agree with you on Jared's overacting as a general rule, it's definitely something I thought he did quite a few times in the past when he had emotional scenes, but this one worked for me.

..Hmm, hang on, let me watch it again now that I'm less delirious from happy. (Any excuse, right? XD)

Hahha okay, yeah, it still works for me, actually. Sam has been harboring this regret for years now and he's become more and more like John himself, so I guess it's natural that he should get a little overemotional when confronted with this version of John. It's gotta be heartbreaking to look at him now and know what's going to happen to him.

Anyway, god yes I just want the rest of the season to be Sam'n'Dean'n'Cas against the world. SO EPIC.

♥!

OH MY MISHA!!!

[kateera.livejournal.com]

Since you should already know by now how awesome (Also known as being MISHA in my world) you are and I can't say enough good things about this episode without having to talk nonstop for the rest of my life...
Utter WIN is awarded to you!!


Oh Misha, I need 3 icons now, One for "little nerdy dude with wings", one for "Mr. Comatose" (cause that one cracked me up) and one for "Team Free Will"

Again, you are amazing and wonderful and these pic spams brighten up my days :D Thank you

Re: OH MY MISHA!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

*bows* Thank you for the utter win. XD

OMG YES. I WANT THESE ICONS TOO. Goddamn why don't I have a Sam/Dean/Cas icon at all? I need one that says "Team Free Will" like asap.

Aww, I'm just glad you enjoy my ridiculousness!

[caritas2008.livejournal.com]

Loved this episode even though not much Cas but it was shocking didn't expect Michael until the 100th episode


i think Cas smiled at Sam as he was happy he had lived

[tracy.livejournal.com]

There was actually more Cas than I'd expected, so I'm happy with it! And Michael was amazing omg.

YES. And he was happy he found them because he'd probably been looking and being lost and. <333333333333

[emptyheaven.livejournal.com]

[tracy.livejournal.com]

WHAT YOU SAID. ♥

[a-carnal-mink.livejournal.com]

Can't comment. Squee won't let brain do yet.

aorgkrknaefjawepoajFraLfrgarjgANGELTEAMFREEWILLCASCASCASDEANNNNNNCAS!!!

/no carrier....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................CAS!..........................................................................................................................................................

[tracy.livejournal.com]

jfdlkskl I JUST WANT THE REST OF THE SEASON TO BE LIKE THIS BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD HANDLE IT.

[elvisglasses5.livejournal.com]

ILU & YOUR FLAILY, MENTALLY UN-SOUND, CAS-LOVING, EPICALLY PICSPAMMY RECAPS, BB. NEVER CHANGE. : )

(I'm so going to be late to work this morning. Write me a note?)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I PROBABLY WON'T CHANGE, NO. TOO FAR GONE.

Dear elvisglasses5's boss,

You should be ashamed for making her work today as it is interfering with her religion.

Sincerely,
Tracy

[yellowhorde.livejournal.com]

God, I loved this episode so much! And your recaps are always a joy to read. XD


SO STONED LOL. LOLOLOL. (But how did he know Sam and Dean were back? He can't locate them, right? And I doubt Michael told them or he could've just sent Cas back himself. Oh well.)

I think he was able to find them because he already knew where the hotel room was. Same god awful polka dot walls. *shudder*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoy them! :D

I can picture Cas searching 1978 for them first, though, poor angel.

[riahpariah0725.livejournal.com]

When Cas went "I don't understand your references!" all forcefully and exasperated, I think my brain popped. It was TOO CUTE. That was my favorite part.

I agree with you on the rest XD

[tracy.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? I SQUEALED. Poor exasperated, out-of-the-loop Cas. ♥

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Ahahha I am amused that my ridiculous squee amuses you.

THAT SCENE WAS SO AMAZING, my heart can't even take it.

[prongsy.livejournal.com]

I haven't watched it yet (no tv) and I'm not overly caught up on this season, but the concept of this episode and your take on it is YAY!!!! \0/ You hit the nail on the head when you said that Cas loved Sam for Sam, but also quite a bit for Dean. That's what I would think. I just feel like Castiel is learning to feel so much based around how and for what Dean feels and that's just... awwwwwwwww.

So, I'm back [tentitively] and yay!!!!!!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

OMG BETH HELLO. PLEASE DO COME BACK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

If you start getting caught up now, it's a damn good time to do so since we just got past a string of not-as-spectacular episodes. And CAS IS BACK and being all ♥♥♥ over his boys and everything.

Yes, even in this episode he looked to Dean first before deciding how to answer Sam, and it's little things like that that make his character so perfectly nuanced.

[feldspar2.livejournal.com]

YAY YAY YAY TRACY'S PICSCAMS ARE BACK CAS IS BACK I AM IN ABSOLUTE MOTHEREFFING ECSTASY. TRIPLED.

This ep kicked ass(actually, after the last two that wasn't so hard to do, heh)...WOW WOW WOW, LOVED LOVED LOVED EVERY MINUTE. I laughed, I cried, I even screeched a couple of times. THANK YOU, SHOW. NEED 'NERDY ANGEL' AND HONEYMOON SUITE FICS LIKE NOOOOOOOW....

JOHN. MARY. MARY FIGHTING ANNA. JOHN MANNING UP AND CUTTING HIMSELF TO PROVIDE BLOOD FOR THE SIGIL. SAM GOONING OVER HIS BEAUTIFUL MOM. HIS TALK WITH JOHN AND FORGIVING HIM JUST BROKE MY HEART. THE CAR TRIP AND THE WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER AND JOHN HUSHING UP HIS GROWN BOYS IN THE BACK SEAT.

AND CAS. CASCASCAS. MISSED YOU, DEAR INCREDIBLE ANGEL. MISHA, GOT NO WORDS, JUST BLIND ADORATION. YOU ARE MASTER AND COMMANDER.

MICHAEL!JOHN...OMG...

TRACY, PEEP OUT FROM UNDER THAT BLANKET AND TAKE(ANOTHER)BOW. YOU ROCK SO HARD!!!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

ABSOLUTE MOTHEREFFING ECSTASY DOESN'T EVEN REALLY BEGIN TO COVER IT, ACTUALLY.

SERIOUSLY ARE THOSE FICS OUT YET? I AM EXPECTING SO MUCH FIC TO COME OUT OF THIS EPISODE.

Mary fighting Anna was so badass omg. SO WAS JOHN. Hahahha his hushing up his grown boys in the backseat is probably one of my favorite things ever, god I just want the four of them to be a family forever and adopt Cas and.

SPEAKING OF MISHA, LOOK WHO POPPED IN TO BESTOW ONE TWEET UPON US lol what a tease. I bet he just wants to check episode reactions. /o\

THANK YOU BB, I AM PLEASED YOU THINK SO ANYWAY. ♥!

[janekrahe.livejournal.com]

ZOMG!!

MICHAEL!JOHN IZ THE HOTTEST THING EVER!!!

Besides those Winchesters and their pretty-boy angel, of course, who is just so adorable when he doesn't understand that reference.

Seriously, I was uber impressed with John. I liked him in ITB, but his performance as Michael was just unf. It helps that he's a seriously attractive guy, too.

YAY TEAM FREE WILL!!!

John!Micheal's speech about free-will made me immesurably sad for the boys. As if life wasn't depressing enough, now their just puppets?

Okay, back to being shallow: When Michael said he'd taken care of Lucifer in ways others couldn't imagine/comprehend (I don't remember the exact wording) did anyone else think, "I'm sure you did", in a really suggestive way?

Also, is it just me, or does Sam look a lot like John, and Dean look a lot like Mary? I don't know why, but I love the idea of Dean resembling Mary. It's why Cas loves him so much, cuz he's so damn pretty. TRUFAX.

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that was the cutest moment of the episode. That along with him "getting" the Glenn Close joke, hee.

RIGHT? Guh, Matt Cohen blew that shit out of the water.

Well, they don't believe the "free will is an illusion" crap so far, or at least Dean doesn't, but maybe if they ever do it will help alleviate some of their mountains of guilt? I mean, it'd be a little cheap, but.

I DID. LIKE, IMMEDIATELY. Why are we such pervs? /o\

Hmm, I didn't really get any strong resemblance impressions, but I also love the idea of Dean resembling Mary, in both looks and in, you know, belief in angels.

[bindaroonie.livejournal.com]

There are not enough words to express my love for this episode and indeed this SHOW. It has felt a bit flat to me for the past 2 weeks, but goddammit THIS kind of brilliance is the reason why I love my boys and their little, nerdy angel so.

It really felt like a reward for those of us who have, for a while, taken an interest in John's relationship with the boys, and been supportive of the 'angel storyline'. Mary's last line just KILLED ME DEAD.

And Cas? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ forever. Also Anna/Mary smackdown? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for that, too.

Also, not to bully you with gifs, but I see myself using THIS one a lot-

[tracy.livejournal.com]

It sort of feels like the show keeps flip-flopping on who they want to cater to -- the past couple of weeks were more for casual viewers, and this week was more for fandom? Either way, god yes this episode reminds me of all the reasons why I love this show, SO EPIC and emotional but with its funny/cute/endearing moments and I just want to draw hearts all over it omg.

Yesss, it was amazing to see John talk to both of his boys, and before this ep even aired I wanted them to address Mary's "angels are watching over you" line. I thought maybe she'd meet Cas and know that he was watching over Dean, but this is good too!

ANNA/MARY SMACKDOWN WAS SO FUCKING BADASS. SO WAS CAS.

Hahahha YOUR GIF OPPRESSES ME. *right-click-and-saves*

[vyrantium.livejournal.com]

AHHHHHHH!!!! I know I said I hated the hiatus because I missed your episode reviews popping up on my flist, but seriously this one was EPIC. I'm sure Castiel's reappearance helped that out but... EPIC SHIT IS EPIC. SERIOUSLY.

Okay, now that that's over... :P

Seriously, Cas was just amazing in this episode even if he was hardly in the second half... the whole Glenn Close thing was hilarious and how he automatically filed it away in his vocabulary because DEAN had said it was just amazing. I just love him <3 I just love it when he's so terribly confused by pop culture references... how can one man/angel be so cute??

Sam literally broke my heart with how broken and awkward and awed he looked when he popped up on his parent's doorstep... I mean damn it Sam, stop looking so vulnerable here! I'm trying to worry about Castiel who just started spewing blood so you could time travel :/ The whole bit with him talking about John while talking TO John and having John be completely oblivious just... BAH! And why is Sam the only Winchester brother capable of saying he loves someone? :P Just sayin. It also breaks my heart how adamant John and Mary seem about raising them into a hunter's life being the worst thing a parent could do... I mean yeah, that's a given considering what it's done to them but really they were cursed anyway :/ John pretty much calling himself a bastard and a terrible father without even realizing it is just... OUCH.

OMG how much do I love Dean's little conversation with Mary about his childhood with her before she died?? I LOVE getting to hear details of the past like that :D Also, the fact that Mary was a Beatles fan and Dean grew up listening to them (ESPECIALLY a Paul McCartney song) just made my entire day... month even... maybe more :P *HUGE BEATLES FAN* My two fandoms just collided there :D Also the tomato rice soup bit because really? I didn't need to feel a kinship to Dean anymore than I already did... but now the Beatles bit and tomato rice soup bit? TOTALLY my childhood right there. ARGH DEAN I LOVE YOU... even if I still think Misha is the best thing about this show *send much love to Jensen for the slight*

OMG Michael... I don't read spoilers, so I had NO idea we'd be seeing him O_O I just got done saying how I wondered where the fuck he was in all this. I was hoping he'd be out somewhere, avoiding his fate and disinterested in all that's going on kind of like Dean... but he's an angel and angels are dicks and he's planning on possessing Dean and killing Sam/Lucifer anyway :/ Why doesn't he just kill Lucifer while he's in Nick anyway? I think I'm one of the few who doesn't like Michael :P I liked the acting fine and everything, but I don't trust him... I don't know if I believe he won't harm Dean by possessing him. I think it'd be way more interesting if God's boy was a lying liar who lies and if hell's boy Lucifer was really an honest chap underneath it all. Plus Michael just ripped Dean's insides to shreds with the whole free will is a myth bit... seriously, the boy has been through enough. Poor Dean.

And correct me if I'm wrong here... but because he says the ability to take someone as a vessel is in the blood, and Michael can take Dean... and Lucifer can take Sam... doesn't that mean it'd be true in reverse as well since they're blood brothers and Michael could take John? Couldn't Lucifer take Dean and Michael take Sam? They're probably going the route they're going because Sam has the dark side and Dean has the light side now but... I think it'd be possible to see the exact reverse of what we're all thinking will happen.

ALSO... since Nick is Lucifer's other vessel, does that mean the Winchesters are distantly somehow related to Nick too?? O_O

*continues in another comment because I'm a loser who types WAY too much*

[tracy.livejournal.com]

ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SELF RESTRAINT. XD

Heee, I bet Cas has filed away every thing Dean's ever said to him and mulls over it all when he has spare time. And now that he has a better understanding of Dean, he's ready to tackle Dean's pop culture references.

Seriously, Sam was like an ORPHAN PUPPY throughout this whole ep. AND NO ONE GAVE HIM A HUG. D: I loved that he was able to tell John those things, though, even if John has no clue what they mean and won't even remember them. Maybe Sam can get some closure anyway? Hahha Dean ALMOST said he loved Sam on the phone that one time, ironically when he was telling Sam they had to stay apart. He said they had love between them! Anyway, basically everything about John and Mary break my heart. Even seeing them happy makes me sad because we know it won't last.

DEAN TELLING MARY ABOUT HER TAKING CARE OF HIM AND SINGING HEY, JUDE TO HIM MADE ME TEARY. D:

Why doesn't he just kill Lucifer while he's in Nick anyway?

I think he's pretty set on fighting Lucifer while they're both at the height of their power. It's supposed to be an epic battle and he won't settle for less and it doesn't matter if half the world gets destroyed in the process? Argh, dick indeed. I don't trust him either, not in the least, but I find him fascinating as a character. That would be really interesting if Michael left Dean a drooling mess, as he put it, but it certainly wouldn't bode well for season six, lol.

Couldn't Lucifer take Dean and Michael take Sam?

Probably? But I think YED corrupted Sam with the blood, so maybe Michael can't take him. YED and Ruby built Sam up to not only break the final seal, but it probably also conditioned him specifically to be Lucifer's vessel. I dunno, just my theory.

Or maybe Nick was another one of those special kids? Who knows, man. I'd laugh if they were cousins.