BSG 4x16 Parody

[tracy_loo_who]

SORRY I FAIL SO MUCH. I blame life (and deancastiel). But this wasn't one of those episodes I was jonesing for a rewatch of, you know? :P Still, can't wait for tonight's! \o/

OPENING SEQUENCE: *is absent to make sure we get a few extra seconds of captivating relationship drama*

	ADAMA: Good morning, Galactica, love of my life! RANDOM SIX: Boy, I sure hope he doesn't notice that this place is overrun with a crew of cylons. CHIEF: Here, I'll distract him. Look how wet she is for you, sir! And then she'll get hard, too... Best of both worlds, really. ADAMA: It can be second base tiem nao? CHIEF: Whatever lifts your skirt, dude.
	SIX: I really, really wish Saul would stop making doe eyes at Adama long enough to get us some goddamn food. Does the pregnant chick have to do everything by herself? DUDES: It's second base tiem, right? Adama said so. SIX: Yeah, sure, it's let-the-pregnant-chick-kick-your-ass-to-second-base tiem.
	ADAMA: Hmm. I bet I can impregnate Galactica with my ~*~love~*~.
	COTTLE: Kid's fine, btw. TIGH: Damn. Well. I think you should stay here anyway. SIX: The baby is fine! TIGH: Machines can't be trusted. SIX: Come on, don't you want to be with me and Liam tonight? TIGH: Well, I certainly do want to be with Liam, that's why I want you to stay here...
	FANS: Hmm, what seems off about this scenario? HOSHI: *hand-in-the-cookie-jar look* GAETA: *is secretly present through his lingering pheromones*
	PILOT!KARA: Miss me? :D FANS: YES. (Even though you are flying CAP with cylons..) PILOT!KARA: Then flash me! BOOMER: *flashes* ADAMA: I like where this is going, bring her in!
	BOOMER: *staring at Ellen reverently* ELLEN: *puts dress back on* I just finished teaching her The Swirl, too bad you guys missed it.
	HOTDOG: If I were into necrophilia, this would be heaven. KARA: Neither I nor Ellen would do you anyway, buddy.
	CHIEF: It's Boomer! You've lost your Swirl virginity, haven't you? I don't remember what it is, but I can certainly smell it. BOOMER: :)
	KARA/LEE: Notice how we have subtly gravitated toward each other. TIGH: Sorry, I've only got one eye, and it's not on you two. ADAMA: I'm gonna have competition now, aren't I?
	TIGH/ELLEN: Omg, gonna get our Swirl on soon!
	ADAMA: ...Yeah, competition? I has it. :(
	ELLEN: To date, Cavil has orchestrated the near-annihilation of mankind, reprogrammed all of his siblings, lobotomized the centurions and raiders, raped his mother, etc. etc. etc. I've deduced that he is unbalanced! FANS: *slow clap* Someone give her an award. LEE: No. See this Rahm!hips impression that I'm doing? It indicates that I'm Not Impressed.
	ELLEN: Anyone got a drink? ADAMA: What, did you think Tigh might have one? Hah, I'm pwning him these days in that department. ROSLIN: I Rahm!hip at you, Bill. LEE: I am gently disgruntled that it comes so naturally to her when I've been practicing for so many hours.
	ELLEN: There were only five people left in the entire universe who knew The Swirl! It's so tragic I could almost weep. TIGH: Want comfort!Swirl? ELLEN: Yes! ADAMA: :(
	ELLEN/SIX: I think some sort of twisted threesome is written into our destiny, don't you?
	SIX: The betrayal of our ~*~love~*~ causes baby problems even from across the ship.
	BALTAR: Despite having come back to Galactica to be with you guys, I didn't think to actually show up before now. PAULA: We had to learn to take care of ourselves after you abandoned us, you know. :| FANS: Are you implying he took care of you guys before? *laugh and laugh and laugh* AFRO!LADY: *tickles your ear with my hair* BALTAR: *giggles* PAULA: ...My life, why is it like this?
	HEAD!SIX: Miss me? FANS: *OMGCLING*!
	ELLEN: We still do it better than anyone else. Speaking of which, who else has there been? TIGH: //_O How could you think I would betray our ~*~love~*~? ELLEN: ... TIGH: Yeah, okay, it was a Six. ELLEN: But she's our daughter, that's incestuous! FANS: Your morals are moving, they really are. TIGH: Well, I thought of you, so since you are her and she is you, it just means you got some ~*~love~*~ from me. ELLEN: I'm in love with a guy who has sexual fantasies about people he murders. Awesome.
	ADAMA: Galactica? Are you pregnant yet? GALACTICA: No, you don't ~*~love~*~ me enough. You're just here because Tigh kicked you out of bed and you're lonely. ADAMA: No, I ~*~love~*~ you, I swear!
	CHIEF: How could you take away Boomer's Swirl virginity from me? :( ELLEN: Hush now, my ~*~love~*~ will make it all better.
	SIX: Speaking of love ~*~love~*~, did you know Caprica was pregnant? TORY: Which means we can leave the fleet and survive on our own! ELLEN: You got her pregnant? That's hard evidence right there that you ~*~love~*~ her. D: TIGH: //_- Think I got something in my remaining eye, hold on... ELLEN: And it's also hard evidence that you didn't ~*~love~*~ me, because you never impregnated me. D: CHIEF: Anyway, I vote we go because someone has to even out the votes, right? ELLEN: I'm not going to vote because voting is impossible without ~*~love~*~ in the same way that babies are impossible without ~*~love~*~. FANS: That's sadly true.
	BALTAR: Hello, what's your name? NAIA: What, you don't remember? BALTAR: Er. NAIA: My son's name is Gaius. Named after his father. BALTAR: Omg! NAIA: You still don't get the hint, do you? BALTAR: No, but all Gaiuses are inherently cute, so I will feed him! NAIA: *throws self at Gaius (the big one)* FANS: Wow, that was pretty easy. No wonder he doesn't remember her.
	ROSLIN: Caprica! Hello! SIX: ... ROSLIN: This smile right here makes even Baltar's expressions seem sincere. SIX: You shouldn't pretend to be nice to cylons, it doesn't become you. ROSLIN: So, how's that baby? SIX: He's just fine, I ~*~love~*~ him and that's all he needs. FANS: This is getting pretty old. :|
	KARA: *says something about pianos in the wake of all this Daniel/dad speculation* FANS: Not even that perks our interest this week. :| KARA: What about parents making out? FANS: Already seen that. KARA: Chief/Boomer, then? FANS: !!! CHIEF: I'm so glad I actually got to say one word in this scene. \o/
	BEAR MCCREARY: I'm in ur show, helpin' u meet ur alcohol consumption quota while the heavy hitter is off trying to impregnate his spaceship with ~*~love~*~!
	ADAMA: Come on, Galactica, still not pregnant? But my hand is stroking you with ~*~love~*~! GALACTICA: Dude, that's not the right body part for baby-inducing.
	ELLEN: Let me tell you about how Saul and I made ~*~love~*~ -- oh wait, you mean he didn't get a chance to run to you with that information since he's been with me the whole time? Silly me, what a horrible mistake to have made. LIAM: *dies a little bit* ELLEN: Oh, no, but he ~*~loves~*~ you! SIX: No, he ~*~loves~*~ you! ELLEN: No, he ~*~loves~*~ you! Here is the proof! LIAM: Touching me with your false ~*~love~*~ is making me die even more. FANS: When did this show turn into the bastard ~*~love~*~child of Laguna Beach and Barney? D:
	KIDS: Trick or treat! BALTAR: I've prepared paper bag surprises for all of you, whee! DUDES: Die or treat! BALTAR: Defend me, ladies! LADIES: *defends* DUDES: Ours are bigger. BALTAR: ...Can I at least keep two of the paper bag surprises for myself?
	ADAMA: How come your ~*~love~*~ is enough to induce babies and mine isn't? TIGH: My great grandpa > your great grandpa. Nnnhnggghngghngggg!
	HEAD!SIX: You'd better hurry and impregnate your fangirls before Paula does. BALTAR: Listen to me! Paula can't impregnate you like I can, and it's not because of anatomy. It's because I've got ~*~love~*~ ~*~strength~*~ and all she has is icy pragmatism! PAULA: Since when was being realistic a bad thing? BALTAR: Since ~*~love~*~ ~*~strength~*~ from within conquered reality! HEAD!SIX: Don't forget the guns. BALTAR: Guns might help too, a tiny bit!
	ADAMA: I don't believe Saul. I swear, maybe if I just stand here and ~*~love~*~ you a tiny bit harder...!
	TIGH: I don't want to leave Bill the fleet. ELLEN: Let's talk about ~*~love~*~ instead! FANS: ...If there's a One True God, even He's facepalming at you right now, Ellen.
	ELLEN: Because I can't have your ~*~love~*~, I've brought everyone else here to prove to them that you ~*~love~*~ Bill Adama more than everything else in the world, including Caprica and your baby. TIGH: How emo and melodramatic of you. LIAM: Not as emo and melodramatic as me! I'm just going to kill myself now because you don't ~*~love~*~ me enough. FANS: Dude, you haven't even reached puberty yet. ...Dude, you haven't even been born yet.
	ELLEN: Omg, I'm so sorry your unborn baby went all emo and melodramatic because of me, I didn't know this would happen! SIX: Yes you did! What else could possibly cause miscarriages other than lack of ~*~love~*~? TIGH: Yeah, you knew! ELLEN: Maybe I just shouldn't even be here, then! TIGH: First intelligent thing you've said. ELLEN: Hmph! *flounces* ...for all of ten seconds. TIGH: Oh, Ellen, hold my hand! FANS: *crying, crying, crying*
	ADAMA: Still no baby. Is my ~*~love~*~ really that worthless? :(
	ELLEN: Talk to her! Tell her you ~*~love~*~ her! It's what she needs; it's what the baby needs! TIGH: ...Caprica, listen. I ~*~love~*~ you. PARODY: I don't even have to make this shit up anymore, this is transcribed from the script, jesus fucking christ.
	ADAMA: I just thought maybe you'd like another shot of me sinking into despair.
	COTTLE: Ur baby's dyin'. TIGH: //_O All my fault for not giving you enough ~*~love~*~, omg. D: D: D: SIX: *cries* ELLEN: But he ~*~loves~*~ you more than he ever ~*~loved~*~ me! Your kid's got a heartbeat, that's proof! He ~*~loves~*~ you so much! LIAM: Too fucking late. *dies* FANS: That's pretty sad, actually, but at the same time, THANK FUCKING GOD THIS IS OVER.
	ADAMA: I don't have time for this, I've got a battlestar to impregnate. BALTAR: Just hear me out! LEE: Yes, you should listen to him, his logic is flawless. BALTAR: Your ship is becoming half cylon, and the people aren't happy about that. Therefore, you should give me guns! More guns, bigger guns, better guns! LEE: See? I told you, flawless.
	PAULA: I am grudgingly impressed with your ability to present an argument compellingly. BALTAR: I told you, good deeds are rewarded! With tools designed to kill people! Now, if only guns were as easy to woo as women...
	BOOMER: *sleeps* CHIEF: It's finally happened, I've become that creep who watches women sleep.
	SAM: You know what this means, right? Someone, somewhere, must ~*~love~*~ me. (Sorry, last time, I promise!)
	TIGH: D: ADAMA: I feel your manpain. TIGH: *CLING* ADAMA: *cuddles* TIGH: I officially choose you over Ellen AND Caprica! FANS: LOL, best moment of the episode. ♥!
	ADAMA/ROSLIN: We've become that couple that can't let go of each other's hands and therefore must pull each other in the directions we want to go in.
	GAETA: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN PICTURE? D:

The end.

(It seems LJ's galleries are being weird, so sorry if some of the caps don't show up! They should if you refresh.)

Comments

[crstfr.livejournal.com]

Thanks for taking an absolutely awful episode, and at least making it worthy of thinking of again.

[bsgmom.livejournal.com]

If I knew a lot more cool innerwebs axioms I'd say them right here and now.

You had the guts to make a pretty shitastic episode worth reliving.

Can I send you my paychecks now, or should I wait til it's all over?

[strangeandcharm.livejournal.com]

LIAM: Too fucking late. *dies*

I so wish I'd thought of that while I was watching it.

[sarpanita.livejournal.com]

LOL at Bill trying to impregnate Galactica XD
Awesome as always <3

[brittania.livejournal.com]

KARA: *says something about pianos in the wake of all this Daniel/dad speculation*
FANS: Not even that perks our interest this week. :|
KARA: What about parents making out?
FANS: Already seen that.
KARA: Chief/Boomer, then?
FANS: !!!
CHIEF: I'm so glad I actually got to say one word in this scene. \o/
THE MOST TRUE STATEMENT EVER MADE, BB. EVERRR.

[n-isfor-neville.livejournal.com]

I didn't read this, because I *just* started watching this week. I watched the miniseries a few days ago, and I have the next disc on the way from Netflix.

I just felt the need to comment and tell you that it's your frequent posts that made me decide to try it out. :)

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

"pleasant dreams"

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

So I actually did enjoy this episode even if there was crazy talk about how love makes babies.. maybe it does in cylons who the frak knows... anyways... this was genius as usual. I adore Tigh's manlove for Adama.

[aurora-0811.livejournal.com]

ADAMA: Good morning, Galactica, love of my life!
RANDOM SIX: Boy, I sure hope he doesn't notice that this place is overrun with a crew of cylons.
CHIEF: Here, I'll distract him. Look how wet she is for you, sir! And then she'll get hard, too... Best of both worlds, really.
ADAMA: It can be second base tiem nao?
CHIEF: Whatever lifts your skirt, dude.

Dying of the lols....for reals. This was one of your best ones ever.

[karuri.livejournal.com]

ADAMA:" ...Yeah, competition? I has it. :("

ITS OK BILL, UR KISS SCENE WAS HOTTER ANYHOW <3

Gaeta getting remarks rocks so much sock.
And totally agreeing with you on the ep's best moment. Gaaahh, Eddie and Mike are so made of win.

[thistleandfi.livejournal.com]

I *heart* you so much!!! One of your best ever!!

*goes to clean up mess on keyboard*

:D

[yamara34.livejournal.com]

IAWTC lol

[buckeye94.livejournal.com]

You had me at the first pic! This was much more entertaining than the actual ep!

[allagainst.livejournal.com]

Galactica? Are you pregnant yet?


BRB, DYING.

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

LEE: No. See this Rahm!hips impression that I'm doing? It indicates that I'm Not Impressed.

LOL RAHM DOES THAT ALL THE TIME.

BOOMER: *sleeps*
CHIEF: It's finally happened, I've become that creep who watches women sleep.

The Chief has become Edward Cullen.

[beetlemier.livejournal.com]

Dude, I knew you were great at these parodies, but I didn't think there was any way one on this episode would work considering it seemed a parody of itself.

But you're goooooooood!! Thank you for making me laugh at the only BSG ep I've ever disliked so intensely ***dies a little inside at that***.

[beetlemier.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

I would pay a lot of money to see the Chief ***sparkle***!

[taurenova.livejournal.com]

LEE: No. See this Rahm!hips impression that I'm doing? It indicates that I'm Not Impressed.

Oh, honey, I love you I do - but you ain't got nothing on Rahm.

It was an odd sort of episode - though I actually really loved Chief recognising Boomer straight away. And my heart got all clenchy when Hoshi was sitting in Gaeta's seat.

(Me and Mum were overly excited about head!Six being back)

[pennyfeline.livejournal.com]

I ~*~love~*~ you.

PARODY: I don't even have to make this shit up anymore, this is transcribed from the script, jesus fucking christ.

*lmao* But hey, it's good to know there's an upside to crappy BSG episodes: Your parodies will be even better! That's almost worth it. Almost.

My favorite parts:

GAETA: *is secretly present through his lingering pheromones*

*sporfle* Good one!

ELLEN: There were only five people left in the entire universe who knew The Swirl! It's so tragic I could almost weep.

*muhahahahaha*

ADAMA: Galactica? Are you pregnant yet?
GALACTICA: No, you don't ~*~love~*~ me enough.

+

ADAMA: How come your ~*~love~*~ is enough to induce babies and mine isn't?
TIGH: My great grandpa > your great grandpa. Nnnhnggghngghngggg!

*laughing fit*

HEAD!SIX: You'd better hurry and impregnate your fangirls before Paula does.
BALTAR: Listen to me! Paula can't impregnate you like I can, and it's not because of anatomy.

*snort*

ADAMA: I just thought maybe you'd like another shot of me sinking into despair.

Absolutely! *ggg*

LEE: Yes, you should listen to him, his logic is flawless.
BALTAR: Your ship is becoming half cylon, and the people aren't happy about that. Therefore, you should give me guns! More guns, bigger guns, better guns!
LEE: See? I told you, flawless.

*lololol*

GAETA: WHERE IS MY GODDAMN PICTURE? D:

Word!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

Hahahha, in that case, glad to be of service! :D

(omg your icon is so hilariously alarming.)

[tracy.livejournal.com]

:)) Well, I'm sure tonight's episode will be better!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

\o/\o/\o/

[tracy.livejournal.com]

It's the thought that counts! ♥

Hahahha I'm glad, I think going through it like this made ME like the episode more too.

No paychecks, ALL I WANT IS LEE!

[tracy.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you had better things to think about. Like, say, PORN! :D

[cariadusclan.livejournal.com]

you made this episode's existence worth it for me. thank you. *wipes laughter-tears from eyes*