[personal profile] tracy_loo_who
Last one, you guys. Sappiest one yet, I think, but I'm just glad I got it done before tomorrow. (OMGOMGOMG TOMORROW!!) Thank you so, so much to everyone who's ever commented on one of my fics -- you guys are what keeps this utter amateur writing. ♥♥♥

Title: Breathless and Intoxicated on Triumph
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1,700
Notes: This is an outtake from Where All Paths Lead, though it can be read as a stand-alone PWPish thing. For [livejournal.com profile] darksilvercat, who requested a series of porny one-shots based on part of that fic. This is the fourth and last.
Summary: It will happen everywhere: against the wall (hard and fast), in Dean's car (quiet enough so Sam won't hear from the motel), on a grassy hill that wouldn't still be there if it weren't for them (breathless and intoxicated on triumph), in the ruins of a town they fail to save (dirty and desperate).


See that angel over there? Yeah, the one smiting evil without so much as dirtying his ridiculous trench coat. He's mine. The battle is over, but as Castiel stands alone on the hill watching Dean help disoriented victims below, he lets those words wash over him again. Through him. Who would have thought that the love of a mortal could empower an angel in the same way that God's love can? Just as his Father's blessing gave Castiel the strength to dive into the heart of Hell's fires, so Dean's words fueled Castiel's grace and made it burn bright enough that he could draw a Devil's Trap into the sky with clouds. His vessel is unchanged but Castiel himself is bigger now, brighter and more glorious and terrifying to behold than ever, if only Dean could stand to look upon him. But he can't, so Castiel remains in this human form and waits for him, marvels at him.

When the last survivor wanders off, Dean turns and looks up at Castiel and gives him a lopsided, triumphant grin. There is a bloody gash on his cheek that must hurt considering the size of his grin, and as he comes up the hill, Castiel reaches a hand out to heal it as he always does after a battle. But Dean catches his wrist and pulls him into an embrace instead. It's loose and kind of awkward because they haven't done this before -- hug just for the sake of hugging -- and Castiel's nose gets smushed against Dean's shoulder, but he figures it out quickly enough. Tilts his head up until his chin is resting on Dean's shoulder instead and tentatively circles Dean's body with his arms. Dean is still a little breathless, still vibrating from adrenaline, and he feels very alive against Castiel. It feels, for lack of a better word, good, this moment of shared victory and camaraderie. Comfortable. Strangely intimate.

After a too-short moment Dean laughs once and pulls away, eyes shining green and positively glowing at Castiel. Neither of them drop their arms to let go completely. "You did it, Cas," he breathes, and Castiel thinks he sounds awed, actually. "You were amazing. Terrifying, even."

"We did it," Castiel corrects him, but he can't help a small, almost stunned smile under all that naked adoration. Dean adores him, it's written into every line of his face, and Castiel can't stop looking. "It was because you -- I heard you."

"Heard me?" Dean doesn't get it.

"You called me yours."

"Oh." And suddenly Dean looks down, looks bashful. "Well, I mean, I needed to buy some time, scare him a bit, that bastard could easily have--"

Castiel quiets him with a finger to his lips, and then follows up by pressing his own lips to Dean's. It's okay, says the way Castiel's hand comes up to heal the gash anyway. It's true, says the way his body fits perfectly against Dean's when he leans in. His gestures are meant to relax Dean, but Dean only gets more breathless. His lips part to let a breath out and to let Castiel's tongue in.

"Still," he insists in between kissing Castiel, in between winding fingers into Castiel's hair. "The cloud and the mass exorcism -- all you. God, Cas, I could listen to you speak Latin over the screaming wind and the screaming demons for hours."

"Of course, you're human, and anyway it doesn't take that long," Castiel points out, not quite following and a little distracted now.

"No, I mean." And Dean laughs against Castiel's lips, licks them playfully. "You, Latin. Standing there and smiting things with all the fury of Heaven. Fuck me."

Castiel is startled enough to pull away. "You want me to... What does my reciting exorcism spells in Latin have to do with sex?"

Dean's mouth follows his own and he nips at Castiel's lips before his tongue slides between them. "Everything. Fuck me."

Humans are complicated creatures indeed, Castiel decides, but he isn't about to deny Dean anything, least of all this. Not when they're suddenly both so hard already. His "ridiculous trench coat" is the first to go, followed by his tie, but Dean stops him there because he wants to unbutton Castiel's shirt himself. He does so with uncharacteristic slowness, and there is no struggling this time, no shoving and fighting each other and desperate noises. Just shallow breaths and the careful, almost reverent way Dean strips him, and when Castiel finally stands naked in the grass, Dean's dark gaze rakes his body up and down. Castiel's skin tingles wherever Dean's eyes linger.

He steps forward and deftly relieves Dean of his clothing, too (he is getting good at this, he thinks), and then he says, "Dean." It's an unspoken question.

"Cas," Dean replies, an unspoken answer, and Castiel's strong arms are around him, lowering him to the grass. He settles on top of Dean and their lips meet in a wet, open-mouthed kiss. Oil, Castiel remembers, and then his finger is coated in it and he nudges at Dean's entrance. There's some resistance, but he applies pressure, and it slides in to a small moan from Dean that reverberates in Castiel's mouth.

He is gentle because the last thing he wants to do is hurt this man before him who has already been hurt by the world so much, but Dean squirms beneath him impatiently. "Come on, Cas, I'm not gonna break."

"I know, but--"

"I'll be alright," Dean insists. He rolls onto his side and grabs Castiel's wrist to pull him up against his back. "Trust me. Fuck me."

Castiel does trust him, and he does that other thing, too, presses the head of his slick cock against that tight ring of muscle until it gives way and Castiel is inside Dean and it's so, so, so tight. Dean lifts his leg a little, lets Castiel in deeper, and the pleasure is so blinding Castiel has to squeeze his eyes shut against it. He holds still like that for a moment, almost clinging to Dean's back, until Dean takes Castiel's hand and wraps it around his own cock and wiggles back into him. Castiel's hips jerk and he can't stop, after that, can't stop pulling out and sinking back in (into Dean), over and over again, can't stop moaning, can't stop moving against and around and inside Dean because surely, surely this is what God created them both for.

Dean can't stop either -- one arm reaches behind to loop around Castiel's neck and his head falls back onto Castiel's shoulder as he arches and writhes between Castiel's hand and cock, as if he can never decide whether he wants to thrust forward or shove back. He is moaning a constant litany of yes and then Cas and God, as if the two are one and the same in his mind, and it's blasphemous but it only makes Castiel squeeze tighter and thrust deeper, anything to hear more of it. Dean doesn't stop until his body tenses impossibly around Castiel's cock for that one moment before lets out a last "Oh, Cas," and comes into his hand, pulsing and squirming and squirming some more.

It drags Castiel's orgasm from his body by force, and he muffles his own moan against Dean's shoulder as he spills inside him, into him, and Castiel thinks that maybe a little bit of his own essence flows into Dean's body along with his vessel's come. He doesn't let go of Dean even after the bliss passes and leaves them both panting and boneless in the grass, but to his mild disappointment, his cock slides out by itself when it softens.

Dean shifts, rolls into Castiel until he is on his back, and gives him a dazed smile. "Fucking incredible," he declares, and Castiel is inclined to agree, but he says nothing, only drapes a wing over Dean when he shivers against the breeze that cools his sweat.

They lay like that for awhile, both so reluctant to move, until Dean asks absently, "So where the hell did Sam and Ruby go? I saw them take off with my baby in the middle of the friggin' fight."

"I told your brother to get his demon out of here before she got caught by my spell. She was hurt." Castiel pauses and looks down at him. "I also told him nothing would happen to you under my watch. Shall I go find them?"

"Nah," Dean replies, and turns into Castiel even more. "Stay here."

So Castiel stays, and watches Dean watch the sky.

Dean says slowly, "His demon. His," tasting the word on the tip of his tongue. He glances at Castiel. "So you're..." He trails off, but Castiel doesn't finish for him. He meets Dean's gaze and waits for Dean to say it himself, out loud. It takes awhile, but eventually Dean finishes, not quite looking at Castiel and so softly a human would miss it, "mine." Then his eyes dart up to blue ones, filled with so much uncertainty that Castiel dips his head in a nod. Dean looks relieved-awed-surprised-hopeful-scared as he thinks on this for a moment, then says, "But you're God's."

Castiel lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "True, I am His as well, but I don't know how many freckles there are on God's face."

One of Dean's eyebrows quirk and he looks like might laugh, but he doesn't. "Are you implying you know how many freckles there are on my face?"

"One hundred and eighty-nine," Castiel replies solemnly.

"Oh." Dean blinks. He doesn't ask how or why Castiel knows. Doesn't need to. He looks strangely gratified.

They fall silent again, until something occurs to Castiel. He glances at his coat, discarded on the grass beside them. "Do you really think my trench coat is ridiculous?" he asks, and doesn't understand why Dean's body starts shaking against his chest in silent laughter.

"Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?" Dean asks him with a grin. When Castiel nods, Dean hooks an arm around the back of his neck and pulls him down to whisper in his ear, "I secretly kinda really like your ridiculous trench coat."

fin.
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Date: 2009-01-15 12:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lois-lang.livejournal.com
' "True, I am His as well, but I don't know how many freckles there are on God's face." '
is dead frome cuteness.....and really great smut.

Date: 2009-01-15 12:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangeandcharm.livejournal.com
THAT IS IT. YOU HAVE KILLED ME. I HAVE CEASED TO BE. I'VE HAD MY LOT. GONE TO MEET MY MAKER. I WOULDN'T 'VOOM' IF YOU PUT FOUR MILLION VOLTS THROUGH ME. VIS A VIS METABOLIC PROCESSES, I'VE HAD MY LOT. I'VE KICKED THE BUCKET, SHUFFLED OFF THIS MORTAL COIL, RUN DOWN THE CURTAIN AND JOINED THE CHOIR INVISIBLE.

I AM AN EX-READER.

DEAD. FROM. HOT.



Freckles... whimper...

Date: 2009-01-15 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ukshewolfe.livejournal.com
My favorite or all the 'WAYS'....Fluff and Smutt Perfect combination:D

Date: 2009-01-15 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-reed.livejournal.com
*flails from fluffy heart feelings*

This fandom and pairing have really taken their toll on my vocabulary skills. I used to be able to conjure more words than "fantastic" "awesome" and "spazz-worthy."

I blame you. (I love you)

Date: 2009-01-15 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-reed.livejournal.com
... you added Monty Python to this post.


That's fucking brilliant.

Date: 2009-01-15 12:21 am (UTC)
ext_25574: (fizzgig from Chaobell via Windsorblue)
From: [identity profile] seraphim-grace.livejournal.com
OMG, I love the freckles
that's all it took!

Date: 2009-01-15 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangeandcharm.livejournal.com
I'M SORRY, I HAVE A COLD.

Date: 2009-01-15 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinko.livejournal.com
Guh. Tracy, you slay me (in a totally awesome way).

Date: 2009-01-15 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] just-reed.livejournal.com
DO NOT APOLOGIZE OH ILL ONE. I WAS PRAISING YOUR ASTUTE OBSERVATION OF THE ONE THING THIS POST WAS MISSING, AND YOUR SWIFT INITIATIVE TO ADD IT.

THE PARROT SKETCH + DEAN/CASTIEL = MANY LEVELS OF AWESOME

Date: 2009-01-15 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangeandcharm.livejournal.com
"I'M SORRY, I HAVE A COLD" was a quote from earlier on in the parrot sketch. I think I out-geeked you with my Python tomfoolery. Mwah ha ha! *is freakishly pleased*

You know how Castiel said in one episode that he wasn't there to 'perch on Dean's shoulder'? I think Dean should nail him there.

Ahem.

Sorry, Tracy. We're corrupting your awesome fic. Please ignore us.

Date: 2009-01-15 12:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prongsy.livejournal.com
1. but I don't know how many freckles there are on God's face. is probably the cutest and sweetest off-hand comment I've ever read in this fandom. Dean's freckles ARE adorable and Castiel's numbering them is even more so. I'd go so far to say, he's the keeper of Dean's freckles. And that is a role he takes seriously.

2. Way to go on the characterization YET AGAIN! I LOVE YOU! I mean it, I know we've discussed it before, but you're like my own, personal writer! You write them exactly as I define them in my head, so there's no part of your story where I find myself getting jarred out of the plot. It doesn't usually occur in fanfiction, so often writers sacrifice characterization to move the plot along. So, score another one for you! I can safely click on any of your stories and thoroughly enjoy myself. It becomes exactly what I read fanfiction for, a continuation or filling of the gaping hole I feel in canon. You rock!!!

3. This goes with 2, but this line, not quite looking at Castiel and so softly a human would miss it, "mine." really knocked me out. Not only because, thanks to Jensen, I can easily see Dean in a shy/surprised moment (by which I mean, if Dean were ever to be with someone like he is with Cas, I think he'd let his guard down enough to show this, but Dean as he stands on the show now, does it so rarely, I have to tap more into Jensen to visualize it properly XD), but because, it conceptualizes the quintessential draw I (and I know you) have to the pairing. But I adore that you had Dean be the one to, though initially in passing it's eventually more concrete, verbalize the concept that Castiel is his.

The line about God that followed, however, drew more "realizations" from me. I know you angsted (however slight) over Dean always putting Sam first.. well, in some ways, I think Castiel will always put his responsibility first, too. I think he will allow himself to love Dean as it is an extension of loving God, this is also why I don't think he'll ever Fall (no matter how romantic that concept is). Dean was given the role of protecting Sam by his father and he learned to internalize it to the point of defining himself by it, well, Castiel in many ways was given the same by his father. Though yes, it still doesn't quite level the disparity between their love for each other with Cas seemingly loving Dean more because Dean's his concern but Sam is Dean's, it does, however, put them on par with each other in original motivation. I think Dean choosing Sam is permissible to Castiel, because Castiel would do the same in his shoes, as the idea is very much one he himself is personally familiar with. That is, Castiel would not begrudge Dean's feelings of responsibility to Sam because he feels those very feelings for his own charge (Dean). It'd be disgustingly hypocritical!

I know people are constantly claiming that they are "so different" and that's why they work (when psychology says that opposites may attract, but similar people tend to be more long lastingly compatible), but I've never seen it. I think Dean and Castiel affect each other so much because they are so much the same. Sure, Castiel believes completely in God and Dean has doubts, but people are comparing the wrong parts of that. It's not the spiritual faith, it's the unshakable commitment to someone they idolize. Castiel believes completely in his FATHER unless something comes along to shake that devotion in much the same way we saw Dean interact with John throughout the course of the show. Castiel questions when he finds tarnish to his Father's perfection (the test in "It's the Great Pumpkin...") and Dean does the same (questioning why John goes off alone, why he made the deal, etc), yet both will go on fighting for that father's beliefs. And they take those commands very seriously. Castiel will raise Dean from the fires of Hell, Dean will save Sammy from the fires of home. They are traveling similar paths, the only difference is, Castiel's grace/angel-ness means he doesn't require someone to fill in the void in his "self" definition the way Dean does. Being disambiguously made to serve God, he is aware of God's love and need for him, while Dean is never sure of John's/Sam's. ^_~
Edited Date: 2009-01-15 12:58 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-01-15 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
*dies* No, no, this is enormously entertaining, I heartily approve of anything having to do with Dean nailing Castiel. ILUSM, both of you! :)) :))

Date: 2009-01-15 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS, JUST SO YOU KNOW. :)) :)) :)) <333333333333333333333333333333

Thank you so much, bb, I love you like Castiel loves Dean's freckles! And your icon omg it makes ME want to squeak.

Date: 2009-01-15 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangeandcharm.livejournal.com
[puts on outraged John Cleese voice]: "If you hadn't pulled him out of Hell he'd be pushing up the daisies!"



...right, I need sleep. Enough of this nonsense.

Date: 2009-01-15 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
Hahahha, I kinda like that line myself, so thank you! XD :D :D

Date: 2009-01-15 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
Aww, yay, I'm glad this one was your favorite! Thank you so much! ♥

Date: 2009-01-15 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
*flails with you* Somehow shit always just turns out fluffier than I intend! *laughs* Glad you enjoyed it so much, though! Ilu2! ♥♥♥

Date: 2009-01-15 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
Heh, totally me projecting onto Castiel. :)) Thank you!

Date: 2009-01-15 12:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
As long as it's in an awesome way! XD Thank you so much! <33333333

Date: 2009-01-15 12:52 am (UTC)
ext_25574: (bearded gakuran)
From: [identity profile] seraphim-grace.livejournal.com
I feel your pain
I've written so much spn lately i find myself talkign like Dean
not good
last time i swore like this i worked surrounded by men

Date: 2009-01-15 01:00 am (UTC)
ext_63688: (Supernatural: Castiel)
From: [identity profile] taurenova.livejournal.com
Adorable and hot at the same time. Awesome.

Date: 2009-01-15 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starflowers.livejournal.com
You should definitely write more. This was brilliant.

Date: 2009-01-15 01:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
Omg, the keeper of Dean's freckles! So perfect, yes, after all he's the only being in the universe who knows how many there are. Awww, Cas. ♥

For some reason things I write tend to come out slightly fluffier than it is in my head, especially the endings of things, so you've no idea how relieved I am to hear the characterizations are still there and they're still right! Guess it just confirms what we already knew, namely that we see them in the exact same light. ♥

Yes, yes, god I knew you'd like that -- I wanted Dean to subconsciously, instinctively know, on some deep level, that Castiel is his, and I wanted it to come out in a moment of surprised grasping at straws. But of course he couldn't fully admit/accept it, really turn it over and study it and poke at it in his mind until later, when Castiel is there with him. This is the moment I want him to have on the show so, so badly. As badly as you do, I bet.

You're right, the similarities in their responsibilities don't quite level things out, but they definitely do put them in a position where they can truly understand each other. I guess in some ways, that's good enough. To be honest that fic idea is still floating around in my head somewhere, but I'm ready to see more canon before I do anything about it. See just how far and where this humanizing of Castiel is going to go.

I admit I was previously in the "they're so different" boat, but the more I think about it and the more I talk to you, the more I appreciate just how much they're the same. They're still vastly different personality-wise, but there are so many parallels in the situations they've been thrust in that they're in such a unique position to really bond with each other. Two different takes on the same problems, the same life, and it's gorgeous to watch.

Your comment about Castiel not ever having a void in his self definition makes me wonder if he will ever come to worry that he is but an expendable soldier. Going back to the hammer thing, of course.

Date: 2009-01-15 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

And omg it's totally okay, I am guilty of the same! I read all seven of your adorable pie!fics and only managed to comment on the last one. >.<

I think you may be part of the heart and soul of Dean/Castiel fandom.

...I don't even have any form of appropriate response to this at all, I am completely, absolutely floored. This is quite possibly the most amazing thing anyone's ever said to me about my writing, and just. Jesus, just know that this means the world to me. ♥

Totally, totally friending you back omg. !!

Date: 2009-01-15 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracy.livejournal.com
Hahahha thank you thank you I am still thinking about that Tom/Piper thing I'm supposed to be writing for you, hahha. :|
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