BSG 4x10 Reactions, Parody, and Poll

[tracy_loo_who]

Okay, so, the mid-season finale. These are just my reactions. I don't guarantee coherency. :|

- HEY THERE, MR. PRES. HEARD YOU WERE HERE. (read: I have been looking for you, MR. PRES.) I think this is the first episode ever to make me nearly wiggle out of my chair at the very first line. I love Kara/Lee so much. SO MUCH. I got up at 5 am to watch this episode and one minute into it, it was already worth it. ♥
- LEE. TALKING ABOUT BEING LITTLE. omg ickle!Lee! all small and scared and shuffling across the room to Bill's desk. omg.
- Gaeta and Dee are so cute together. *giggles*
- TORY, OH MY GOD. I never really liked her character that much, but her joining the cylons in front of the crew is such an amazing, delicate, powerful scene. I was floored. And then floored again the next few times I watched it.
- I can't believe Laura didn't try harder with Tory. Srsly, Tory isn't completely without compassion for her and the fleet. I mean, she apparently carries Laura's meds around with her wherever she goes.
- Has anyone else noticed that practically every other scene ends with a shot of Tigh looking dramatically but secretively frightened? lol.
- ADAMA. TOTAL EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN LIKE WE'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. Like LEE has never seen before. I cried, oh god. But Lee was breathtaking in that scene, and the next. you could practically SEE him coming into his own. Kara was wrong, Adama doesn't have to die for Lee to reach his full potential. He just has to be utterly broken. And he is, right here.
- SAM. AND KARA. I'll ship Lee/Kara to the ends of the earth, but that doesn't mean I don't love Sam, too. And KARA. She was devastated. so devastated it terrified her. Like Adama, only she didn't even have to scream or throw things or drink to show it. It was all in the expression, oh god. I cried here, too. This episode had me on a roll, or something.
- I was so so so scared they would actually airlock Tigh. It's a good thing I don't have high blood pressure or anything. -.-
- ALSO, Tigh calling Lee Apollo? that made me shiver. It's been so long since anyone called him Apollo and I miss military!Lee, more than I realized. And then that shot of him! SITTING IN THE VIPER. Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Such a minor detail, and yet!
- I am somewhat cruelly smirky that Kara is still on a first-name basis with Lee while Dee only ever calls him 'Mr. President' in this episode. lol.
- The Bill/Laura/Lee scene could not have been more perfect. Srsly.
- Adama's speech and everyone celebrating almost had me crying again. Luckily Lee came to the rescue. *snerk*
- The last scene: I don't even know what to say, except I don't hate it. :|

Now that that's out of my system, on to the parody:

OPENING SEQUENCE: Twelve Cylon models, etc. etc.

	KARA: Hey there, Mr. Pres. LEE: I love that we don't even have to role-play anymore. KARA: We'll just have to come up with something else to spice things up, then. Like christening the Temple of Aurora. LEE: How about my father's desk, in the meantime? I'd suggest his ass-chair, but it's too sacred. KARA: More sacred than the Temple of Aurora? LEE: Obviously. Temples can be rebuilt. If my dad's dead no one will ever be able to recreate the exact shape and smell of his ass on the seat of a chair. KARA: C'mon, Lee. You'll never reach your full potential as a human being until your ass is imprinted on a chair. Everyone knows that. FANS: How many firstborns will we have to sell before we have enough money to buy Lee's ass-chair when it finally hits eBay?
	D'ANNA: Only four of the Final Five are in your fleet. Surprise! FANS: We're gonna toss and turn in our sleep over this one line for like, six months now. Thanks, Ron. D'ANNA: I want all four of them so we can have a massive cylon orgy, and you guys are going to be hostages until I get them. LEOBEN: Let's cooperate with them! I'd rather frak Kara, the other half of my soul, the fuel that keeps this fiery heart beating, the— CENTURIONS: We feel so betrayed, Leoben. Hell hath no fury like a centurion scorned! We're on D'Anna's side now, and our guns are the biggest; see and fear them! ADAMA AND HELO: We have guns too. *are badasses* ROSLIN: Don't, Bill. ADAMA: *deflates and is whipped*
	GAETA: *drops pills* DEE: I'll get those for you, Felix, since we're close enough to be on a first-name basis. GAETA AND DEE: *share a lovey BFF look* FANS: We knew it! Fag hag. :D GAETA: Dradis contact! Back to this bullshit again, eh, I liked my singing scenes better. Plus, Cottle was there. But on the bright side, our people are back!
	KARA: *right behind Lee on the way to hangar* FANS: We know what you two were doing! Mwehehehehee. ADAMA AND D'ANNA: Yes, but do you know what we were doing in that raptor? SAM: Maybe she won't be able to identify us. CHIEF: Yeah, and maybe Kara will never cheat on you again. ADAMA AND LEE: *moment of Adama-ly love* KARA: Notice how not even Adama's return can make me take my eyes off Lee. D'ANNA: *eye-fraks the Final Four* Come with me, I've got candy and handcuffs. And the sexiest centurions. TORY: If it's first-come-first-serve, take me now! Especially if you wear that leather coat.
	ADAMA: Now what, son? LEE: Starbuck! Because my faith in her is unquestioned and unwaverable. KARA: I acknowledge you with a slight but perfect nod. ADAMA: If your girl fails, mine would rather be blown up along with the rest of the baseship. But it's your call, Mr. President. You're a big boy now. LEE: That's a lot of pressure, Dad. I can almost feel a pimple forming.
	LEE: I am part of military strategizing again! But I mustn't look too excited or anything. KARA: Our nukes have to be cocked and locked. FANS: Starbuck said "cock"! Teheheehee, we are so immature sometimes. LEE: *is too distracted to say anything for the rest of the scene*
	D'ANNA: Look what I brought home, guys. LEOBEN: It's not Kara. My disappointment is obviously crushing. TORY: My days of frakking Baltar are over. Looks like I'm in the big leagues now.
	BALTAR: I want to thank you and make a really touching speech. ROSLIN: I'm not really paying attention, but if you let me pinch your nipple we can call it even. BALTAR: Thank you, God. TORY: Hi Laura. Here's your medication. I'm a cylon, btw. ROSLIN: You interrupted my Gaius!nipple time just to tell me that? I am so disgruntled.
	COLONIAL REDSHIRT: Know what's worse than being a redshirt? Being a redshirt who's filmed from so far away he can't even prove to his friends later that it's really him in that episode. D'ANNA: *threatens* LEE: Admiral, you are a go for the rescue mission. ADAMA: Yes, Mr. President. I could really get used to calling you that. Has a nice ring, doesn't it? LEE: Maybe the fact that even the admiral follows my orders will be so sexy it'll cancel out the pimple that formed on my left cheek a few scenes ago.
	CHIEF, SAM, TIGH, AND TORY: Oh no, we're going all cylon again. RANDOM VAMPIRE ON FLAG: I hover ominously over Sam's shoulder. Because this TV show is ominous, remember? VIPER: Hey, I want to be ominous too. SAM: You are, you are. *pets*
	TIGH: I've been trying to work on my left-eye communication since we were at the nebula, but time is running out and you still can't read it, sigh. I'm a cylon. ADAMA: That's not possible. TIGH: Why not? ADAMA: You had hair when I met you. TIGH: ...I'm doomed. I'm also one of the Final Five. If you threaten to airlock me, our problems are solved. It's actually sort of exciting, no? ADAMA: No! We were supposed to grow old together! TIGH: We already did. ADAMA: Oh yeah. Fine, then.
	ADAMA: *wails and throws things* You didn't see it, but I totally broke the model ship again. Oops. LEE: Shh, shh, it's okay. Seriously, the more you flail around, the more difficult it is to support you. ADAMA: Will you be grossed out if I drool on you? LEE: Uhm. Well, considering the circumstances, I guess it's okay. Make sure none of it gets on my suit, though. And pull it together, seriously! ADAMA: I can't! LEE: This is so uncalled for, I bet I didn't do this to you when I was a baby. And even if I did, I can't have been more than ten pounds. Nevermind, I'll take care of it. I'm a big boy now. FANS: *SWOON*
	LEE: *takes care of it* TIGH: Ow! That's how you take care of things? Violence? LEE: Despite this suit and haircut, I'm still a military guy at heart, what can I say? D'ANNA: I am visibly annoyed by your threat, Mr. President. And invisibly turned on. FANS: *SWOON* We are visibly turned on.
	SAM: This viper is magical. KARA: You're magical. In a mental sort of way. GUARDS: Actually, he's just a cylon. SAM: Nevermind that, it's not important. What's important is this viper! It's magical! Like Harry Potter's wand, but bigger and sleeker and better— GUARDS: Shut up. We're taking you and Chief away. CHIEF: That tickles, teehee. KARA: But I didn't even get the chance to shoot him between the eyes...
	LEE: I've got Galen Tyrol and Samuel Anders too, now. D'ANNA: Shit. Sammy! FANS: Wrong show, D'Anna. He's not your little brother, you don't get to call him Sammy. LEE: If you don't stand down you'll never get to strip a flight suit off of him. I can't even imagine the horror, can you?
	KARA: Let's see if this viper is as sleek and magical as Sam says it is... VIPER: Look, I found earth! Do I get a cookie? Or perhaps a belly-rub or a good scratch behind the ears? KARA: You don't have ears. Anyway, since there are no phones or anything from here to the airlock, I must go there in person. This is the reason I grew out my hair, after all. See how it flutters dashingly behind me as I dash through the ship. RANDOM EXTRA: *is obviously a perv*
	BALTAR: Don't do this. I thought we had something, D'Anna. D'ANNA: Oh, Gaius. That was a lifetime ago. Literally. BALTAR: But I know Lee! He's strong and stubborn and has gorgeous eyes and hands... LEOBEN: I wonder what Kara's wearing right now. I wonder if she's thinking of me...
	KARA: Lee! LEE: Kara! KARA: I've been thinking about you. LEE: Leoben would be so jealous. If you hold my hand, I won't airlock Tigh. DEE: And here I am, standing right next to him. Some things never change, do they?
	LEE: *IS SITTING IN A VIPER* VIPER: This is totally better than any cookie or belly-rub or scratch behind the (nonexistent) ears. Thanks, Starbuck. KARA: You don't get to keep him forever, you know. LEE: Oh yeah. FANS: We can haz Starbuck/Apollo/Viper fic?
	LEE: I'm only giving you the way to Earth because Adamas are easily swayed by their women. KARA: *smirk* D'ANNA: I think I can see why Baltar has a thing for Adamas. LEE: Let's shake hands so that everyone can see how much sexier my sleeve is than yours. D'ANNA: It is not. Your sleeve is too conservative. It's all about the wrist-baring, these days. LEE: ...Really?
	ROSLIN: You're terribly cute in your bathrobe. ADAMA: Oh god, I better leave before she sees me blush. LEE: *still pondering the bare wrists thing* ROSLIN: *lathers Lee with compliments* LEE: Oh no, I feel a blush coming on too... ADAMA: As warming as it is to see you two flapping your lips at each other, let's go find Earth. LEE: Man, it's good to have mom and dad back. Now I might actually have time to give my skin the care and attention it deserves.
	FLEET AND BASESTAR: *jump to Earth* ADAMA: I can make the happiest speech in the series sound ominous. It's a talent. LEE: Nevermind him, I'll give you guys something to celebrate about. *strips!* I'll even show you guys some wrist. EVERYONE: *CELEBRATES* FANS: WHERE THE FRAK IS KARA?
	ADAMA AND ROSLIN: We've been practicing this identical expression thing, what do you think? D'ANNA: I think a couple of centurions would make a cuter couple at the moment. At least they know how to cuddle each other's dismay away. LEE: I just got another pimple, on my chin. I hate radiation. CHIEF: lol. LEOBEN: I haven't seen her in so long, what do I say? omg omg omg. KARA: Suddenly I wish I had Lee's pores. They would have known something was wrong if they'd come here before and Earth had gotten into them...

The end. For a very, very long time. :(

Seeing as we won't be getting any new episodes until 2009, I'm thinking maybe I'll go back and write parodies for some of the old episodes, too. Particularly the earlier season 4 eps, since I didn't start doing these till 4x07. y/n? Anyone have any specific episodes in mind?

And finally, I have a poll. I've read so many theories about who the final cylon might be, but I want to know what you guys think in terms of numbers. So, please vote!

[Poll #1205183]